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We have been asking for a loan modification for our mortgage. We’re 60 days behind on the payments. My lender says it can’t be done. Is that true?

You’re right. You’re wrong. Sound familiar? Anyone trying to fix a mortgage these days has to feel confused.

Even though, as I have reported, major lenders – Bank of America, Wells Fargo, and others -- say they’re working under the new Department of Treasury program to modify mortgages to make them more affordable, readers and consumer advocates are telling me that few people are getting approved.

To be fair, the Treasury program only began this month, Bank of America spokeswoman Juman Bauwens pointed out.

So if you applied last month, it was harder to get through the process.

The rules on what lenders will do are changing all the time, says attorney Jeffrey Tromberg of the Florida Debt Relief Center in Fort Lauderdale. A lender might refuse to talk until you’re behind on your payments while another might not talk to you because of that.

If you want to give this a try, Tromberg, who is also Florida chair of the National Association of Consumer Bankruptcy Attorneys, says you should write a “hardship letter.” Explain how you got into financial trouble, what you’ve done to address your problems (sold the second card, cut your grocery bill, for example) and how you plan to get out of this situation.

Also, go to the lender with all your financial paperwork in order, says Bank of America’s Bauwens – loan information, proof of your income and a list of your debts and expenses.

Watch out for a few things.

Tromberg notes that Florida legislators last year banned anyone from taking an upfront fee for arranging a loan modification --- except for attorneys. The Florida Bar recently warned attorneys about partnering with foreclosure “consultants” or other non-lawyers whose goal is to skirt that law.

And, be clear about what you’re getting in to. Not all loan modifications result in lower monthly payments. Sometimes, new fees or the payments you missed are rolled back into the loan, making your principal larger than before or your loan term longer.

Because few loans are being made and many aren’t lowering the payments for troubled borrowers, Tromberg says, “I am not seeing a lot of loan modifications succeed.”