By Mark La Monica
A media credential or a ticket to the shows is not the only thing needed to make it through Fashion Week.
After 1.2 days on the beat, I've developed The La Monica Fashion Week Survival Guide which I will list here now and sell next year on eBay to the 2007 journalists who wish to consort with the beautiful people.
As best I can figure it, a Fashion Week attendee needs the following:
- A backpack to hold all the free junk.
- Binoculars to see who everyone else is drooling over in the front row.
- An extra rib cage to replace the one you'll break when cameras and elbows get shoved into your back and sides.
- Proper attire. Here you have two choices: To the Nines, or To the Twos. To The Fours and Fives will not suffice. If you're gonna go grimy, go all the way.
- Water. Big tents, lots of people. Proper hydration is a must.
- Journalists need an extension cord and three-prong adaptor. The "media center" is woefully inadequate for the hundreds of people here with laptops, cameras and camcorders.
- High tolerance for standing around. This would also require comfortable shoes.
- The talent to leave reality on the subway or in the taxicab.
- Desire and ability to verbal and physically jab people to get what and where you need.
- Attitude.
- Willingness to accept living on York peppermint patties and mimosas until dinner time.
- Bono shades.
And there you have The La Monica Fashion Week Survival Guide.