Talk of the Tents

By Mark La Monica

First rule of WE Bag Club: There is no WE Bag Club.

Second rule of WE Bag Club: Get here mad early because they're gone quickly.

Before I even put my laptop down, set up camp inside the press room and snapped the photo of the American flag shown in a posting below, I went straight for the WE booth. Had to get my hands on another bag for Aunt Keekee, what with Mama La Monica calling "shotgun" on the first bag while she was lounging in Majorca, Spain, on Friday.

"Do you give out WE bags this early in the morning?" I politely asked the nice WE bag girl at the counter. It was 8:31 a.m.

"We do," she said. "Hey, you had longer hair last year, didn't you?"

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Is she serious? That was seven months ago and she dealt with at least 1,000 people per day then. Did I mention that was seven months ago and she dealt with at leat 1,000 people per day then? Not to mention all the people in life since then. I mean, honestly. Sure, I have a dapper personality, a distinct fashion style (I call it "diner" style -- a little bit of everything whenever you want it), and two different eyes. But, seriously, how did she . . . oh Jesus, please tell me she doesn't remember "The WE Bag incident" from last February.

"I did indeed," I responded, half-nervously, half-excited. "Had to shut that down. Got long. But I'm just glad I have some hair left."

"Well, it looks good."

Whew, no mention of the WE bag incident. This could have escalated quicker than the television news team rumble in "Anchorman."

It was just some polite banter amongst familiar faces. This being recognized thing is pretty cool, especially in a world where I know no one. If this keeps up, I may need to get some headshots and ship them around. Anyone know when an Apple store is giving their next Photoshop or digital photography lesson so I can get photos done on the cheap?

Now if only the paparazzi would start snapping my photos when I walk around, then we'd have something. The regular people would be asking, "Who is that guy?" And I'd be responding, "What's up, guy?" I've got four more days to pull it off.