Mall Walkers Blog

Shear-rendous

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shear__blog2.jpgBet you didn't know Gaga's Groupie had a groupie! Take a little scroll down then scroll back up... Did you ever think two people could be so shear-rendous? I swear these CT looks amaze me more and more every day. If you're trying to be sexy, honey, it's not working. The combo of the ink all over your back, mixed with the visible black bra, just doesn't scream "Hey I'm single, and I'm classy!" Is there such thing as an apparel intervention? If not, I think it's about time to start one.

 

MC2

Gaga's Groupie

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  shear_rev.jpg"Hello hello baby, you called I can't hear a thing. I have got no style at the fair this weekend." Watch out, Gaga, there's a new, obsurd "style icon" in town! I'm pretty sure this woman whom apparently is a mother (ouch) is Gaga's biggest fan. Who else would wear a sparkled shear top with jeans and sneakers? Well, maybe Britney Spears, but the difference is that the celebs have lots of money so they can do whatever they want. In the words of iconic Heidi Klum, "You're out, aphedaze!"

 

MC2

Daily Dose of Ridiculous

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carrot-rev.jpgIs this man aware that wearing a carrot suit is a crime? Could that be why he has assumed the position to be handcuffed? On a nice Sunday afternoon this type of absurd fashion faux pas is unacceptable. It is not Halloween, you are not the Mascot of V8 and, no, you can not try out for the Fruit of the Loom commercial. Halloween is about a month away and I promise you that if you save this costume for then, people will not give you the evil eye like they did on an average Sunday in September. Man, that outfit is just wrong!

 

MC2

Spee-don't

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naked guys.jpgYou have three choices to guess what is going on here...

 

A) These men are professional swimmers and have just finished a meet?

B) They lost a dare and were forced to strip down to speedos?

C) They just think they're "well endowed" and want to shot it off?

 

Answer is: B and well, probably C too! Apparently, these guys made a bet with a few others, lost and were forced to dress in speedos and grab a beer at a local bar. Unfortunately, because of "the content" of the bet, the boys refused to tell me what the bet was, but I can only assume by the consequences that it was for sure inappropriate! Well let's be honest - you lost alright - in more ways than one!

 

MC2

Forza Dominatrix!

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girls-w-bags.jpgDo you think these girls are soccer fans or are just color blind? I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt that they're World Cup fans- well at least the one in pink is although I'm not quite sure which team wears pink- in fact I don't think any country represents pink? Anywho-in regards to the other one- I'm not sure what her deal is. Those high boots seem a little dominatrix to me? Maybe they're on their way to a soccer party hoping to show off their "feminine dominatrix skills?" tisk tisk tisk ladies....

 

MC2

Harley's Got a New Queen in Town ....

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mallwalkers1.jpg  Vroom Vroom! Is that the sound of this woman's Harley or the fashion police coming to put her away? Don't get me wrong- I'm into bikes- love Harley's and street bikes and give much credit to the women who ride them but this my friend is taking it too far!! Biker chicks are supposed to be hot and this woman is umm... "NOT"! You can wear all black without looking like you're going to the funeral of your long lost riding friend. You're not at a Harley fest- you're in public!! As my dear friend Paris Hilton would say "That's soooo NOT hot."- and we mean that nicely. J

 

MC2

A Jungle Story!

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zebra.jpgWhoa! Is this even legal? These pants could stop traffic! Wait- Scratch that- These LEGGINGS could stop traffic! They look like a five year old's art project in which he was instructed to "make a colorful Zebra!" Speaking of Zebra's I hope this woman does NOT plan on visiting the wild anytime soon because she sure would give a male Zebra the wrong impression! Are those pants some sort of mating sign? As if these spastic leggings weren't bad enough how about that bag we could probably call a sac? I mean did this lady just step off the African tundra? I'm at a loss for words. Ugh!

 

MC2

  trucker.jpgIf I was a guy and I was looking for a girl with short shorts, cowboy boots who a fan of John Deere and could drink her face off this would be her! It's sad to think this, but I honestly believe in her mind this girl thinks she looks good. Although I do admire the "crunchy' curls (ha) which means she took the time to use gel, I can't help but get an image of her doing a keg stand out of my mind. Harsh? I don't think so. You're a woman for a reason, let's try dressing like one. Ok?

 

MC2

Scrunch This

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pics_819.jpgYeehaw Cowgirl- trucker-marine! Way to pull it together this morning. I'm wondering do people NOT look in the mirror when they leave the house? Honestly honey, not one of your friends stopped you on the way out and said "Hey, that doesn't look so cute?" If not, you better turn in those friends for some new ones. Look closely now- check out that wrist! Is that a scrunchie? By golly I didn't know they still made those things. Honestly you need to make a decision- are you an 80's gal? A trucker? A cowgirl? A marine? Or D-all of the above? If you chose option D we suggest you see a therapist, that's what I believe is called split personality disorder. Seek help quickly!

 

MC2

When Mini Isn't Cute

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mini_blog.jpgReally? No, seriously. Really? Does this bag even have a fashion term? Hmm..mini backpack seems most appropriate and that is only because the fashion world has not named this type of bag because well, they do not acknowledge it as fashion! Ladies- note to self this type of "pocketbook" if that's what YOU call it, is not acceptable-Do NOT be seen wearing it on walks, on trips and most importantly do not wear it out of your house. Only those ladies under the age of 12 ( a.k.a children) are allowed to carry these and you should note they usually have pictures of Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brother's on them-take a hint would ya?

 

MC2