 | Collins: I enjoy watching the bad auditions, but...at some point, you have to wonder whether or not 5 or 10 minutes spent watching the freaks annoy Simon would be better spent pushing a few of the actual contenders! |
 | Funk: I agree, definitely. Not that I haven't been entertained, but...30 people we didn't see. 30!!! |
| Collins: Anyway, as the title of this post points out, many of those who we DID see being put through to Hollywood round had very soulful, almost jazzy voices. Julie, start us off with your thoughts on the night's first success, that Tetranakavarniana girl. |
 | Heart: Her name is TETIANA, Clyde. And I thought she had a haunting voice...in a GOOD way. I think she is as good as she thinks she is, even if Simon disagrees. |
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| Funk: I don't think she'll be that memorable, in the end. |
| Collins: Perrie Cataldo I thought was more interesting, vocally. At first, the set-up video with his little son and the story of losing his wife...I rolled my eyes and thought, "Heeere we go." And Boys 2 Men?! Ugh. But, to my surprise, more than just a sob story. Strong voice, plenty of potential. Artie? |
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| Funk: Yeah. The Kid Factor will definitely help him through if he makes it past Hollywood. His voice was cool, what we heard of it. |
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| Heart: There's some Internet buzz going around, already, that he may have some legal trouble in his recent past, and we've seen contestants disappear before when we show up in Hollywood. But, not to speculate too much, just yet...a single dad with a cute kid, how can you go wrong? Ha ha. Seriously, great voice. And I like that he's something different, like we've been asking for...not the same cookie-cutter Idol contestant. Strong voice. |
| Collins: SPEAKING of cookie-cutter contestants, I think you'll change your tune with this next fellow. |
| Collins: There sure were a lot of foreign accents in San Diego. Michael Jones, the Aussie with good hair...good voice to match. Simon called him a "white soul singer," and I'm sure many lady fans...and maybe even some of the guys in the audience...will find him quite "dreamy." |
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| Heart: Yes! He definitely gets the Cute Older Guy Vote. I love when people sing different songs, instead of the same old standbys, too. He sings with emotion and soul. I like Mike! |
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| Funk: He's got the look. Good hair, that charming accent...voice was decent, but I don't know if I was as in love with him as the judges, or you two. But, I'm just a musician, what do I know? Ha ha ha. |
| Collins: You may have a point. Maybe America was too dazzled by his good looks to really listen to his voice in terms of whether or not he can actually stand out and sell records. I think he has a good chance, but time will tell. |
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| Heart: Valerie Reyes really thought she could sing, with her Mariah impression. |
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| Heart: But...NO. She can't. She hit the high notes, surprisingly, but can't really stay there. Very breathy in the beginning...but the reason I bring her up is that she honestly thought she did well. So many people without any talent just think they're great! Like you, Clyde. |
| Collins: WOAH, hey! What'd I do? |
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| Heart: Ha ha ha...sorry, I set it up and I had to take it! |
| Collins: I see how it is. You'll get yours! But, back on Reyes...I'm of the opinion that no one should attempt to sing Mariah Carey music. Even Mariah Carey. I'm just not a big fan of squealing over a beat, sorry. |
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| Funk: I particularly liked that she KNEW she'd be part of the blooper reel. She realized that she was bad in the end, and that she wouldn't be able to avoid Idol adding her to the Freak List! |
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| Heart: I thought Samantha Musa was DESTINED for the Freak List, when the set-up video showed off her and her sister's love for Simon. He's a total jerk, and I don't get why people love him so much, but... |
| Collins: I'd say you're just jealous you didn't get to sit on his lap! Turns out, she actually can sing. This is an example of a GOOD gimmick. It's just quirky, not absurd. Memorable in a cute way. Her voice did crack on one high note, so she showed a bit of weakness, there. We'll have to see, with her. Probably not a Final 4 contender, but she could go further into this competition, based on what we saw. |
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| Heart: Clyde, we were talking earlier, and you brought up something Ryan Seacrest said, from around this point in the show, at the start of Day Two, when there were mimes and other creeps running around. |
| Collins: Oh, yes. He said something like, "It's season 7. You'd think people would've realized by now that, if you come in with a gimmick, it'll probably backfire." I believe I said the exact same thing last week, after Dalls. Fans, it's true. I'm a genius...and Idol is clearly listening to everything I say very closely. That said, hello, Nigel. Hope all is well. |
No.
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| Heart: Gimmicks and costumes don't help. Even if you have an okay voice, like 11-time reject, Blake Boshnack. He was the guy in the Statue of Liberty suit in season 5...it's just not gonna' happen if you don't behave with a BIT of dignity. |
| Collins: So, there's the first rule of Idol Judgement, people. Gimmicks are the kiss of death! And if I had to make a second rule...if Simon tells you you're bad, you're BAD. Do not keep singing, or attempt another song, or a key change...you're not good! |
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| Funk: Amen to that! Although that one cat freestyling poorly on his way out, that was pretty bad-funny. |
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| Heart: How does Boshnack afford to travel to all these different auditions, every year? That has to add up! |
| Collins: Moving on, we have Alberto Hurtado...the frizzy hippie freak who looked like the fat guy from Lost. Jeesh, I sure wasn't a...wait for it...FAN of his! |
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| Funk: Right. 'Cuz he made fans. I get it... |
| Collins: Wait, I've got another. Alberto Hurtado? More like...Hurt-EAR-o! |
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| Heart: Okay, enough trying to be funny, Collins. You're supposed to be mean! |
| Collins: Right, right. He was horrible, an absolute waste of a segment that could've been spent building up someone with ACTUAL talent. Another...LOST opportunity, Idol producers! |
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| Heart: How about David Archuleta, the cute kid with the vocal paralysis? He needs to work on his breathing when he sings. Maybe he was just nervous, but...sounds good, considering what he went through! |
| Collins: He has absolutely got the Disney Teen Vote. He forgot the words at one point, his rhythm was questionable early on...but he'll do very well if he can keep his head in it. With Disney Channel turning talentless little pukes into stars every day, he might be a refreshing twist onthat Youth Pop genre. THAT SAID... |
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| Funk: Here we go... |
| Collins: He won't win. He was not the strongest so far, and cute and inspiring can only carry you so far on this show. |
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| Funk: I thought they were setting him up for a fall with all the buildup, but...pretty impressive. Surprisingly strong voice for his age and considering his heath problems. |
| Collins: Someone who may very well go much further was Carly, the Ireland native who made it through to Hollywood once before, only to be stopped short by international legal issues. |
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| Heart: I LOVE her accent. She's cute, and has a strong voice. And unlike the 30 other poor contestants who went to Hollywood...we actually got to meet her! I think, besides the soul voices, the big story out of San Diego was all the time we wasted seeing untalented freaks like Alberto Hurtado, and not seeing people who are actually IN the competition. When the show is TWO hours, you can waste 5 minutes on a guy like him, or Renaldo Lapuz! |
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| Funk: You know what? I think she goes far. They liked her in season 5, she made it to Hollywood TWICE...I say she'll be in the Top 24. Props to her husband, with all the tattoos. That cat is AWESOME, man. He does his thing, you know? |
| Collins: I don't know that I find him particularly "awesome," but she made that song her own, and has that charming accent, as Julie pointed out. A good night, but not great. Though the freaks are fun...I think the real talent suffered a bit. |
Apparently, far more important than actual Hollywood Round contestants.
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| Funk: Word. |
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| Heart: You know, I have heard that Paula secretly had picked Carly as her early favorite to win season 5. So, we may see big things out of her! Still, let's hope Charleston picks things up a bit, tonight! |
| Collins: That is a GORGEOUS city, and I have high hopes! See you tomorrow with the Chucktown recap, fans. |
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| Funk: And, hey...you stay classy, San Diego! |
***** DISCLAIMER *****
The opinions expressed by the three "FOX43 Idol Experts" do not necessarily reflect the opinions of FOX43, Tribune Broadcasting or FOX.
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