 | Heart: Okay, FASHION commentary. Luke Reeder, are you going auditioning for American Idol or going camping?! Why the hat? | |
 | Collins: Why the SEGMENT? What a waste, he was a no-talent schlub. Fred Durst is awful, and you're worse. |
 | Funk: Yo, dude...you're not in the desert. That's all I'm sayin'. |
|
| Heart: He couldn't sing and he SCARED me! Stay home, creepy people. | |
|
| Heart: Victor Villegas...no one is voting for you, Pedro. Sorry! | |
|
| Funk: Sheep Guy, you were pretty sad, man. |
| Collins: He sounded like he was in PAIN! Horrible, glad they put Sheep Guy out to pasture quickly. |
|
| Heart: Amy Davis...I hate when people say they're doing this show for mom or dad or whoever. Look, they're doing it for themselves, be honest! I did like her voice, though. It was sweet. | |
| Collins: She had a SHAKY voice, and it wasn't great. The judges saw POTENTIAL in her, but...at this point, when so many GOOD singers are already through, why waste time on someone who MIGHT have the potential to be okay in Hollywood? And I didn't like her "poor girl from a big family" story. We ALL have hard times, we ALL want to have a better life. Whatever. |
|
| Funk: Yo. HOT! Simon was totally checking her out the whole time, and I can't blame him. But she's gonna' need to work hard with that weaker voice to stick around through Hollywood. |
| Collins: If you need proof that Neitzche may have been right about God being DEAD...we have Tiffany McCambell's awful gospel singing. No higher power could save a wretch like she. |
|
| Heart: Seriously bad. She's been thanking God for her voice, but...maybe she should be asking him why she was born so tone-deaf, instead? | |
|
| Funk: Her pastor is clearly not a music expert if he keeps complimenting her! Not good at all. |
|
| Heart: Chris and Cory Lane, the twins...you know, one of them can beatbox a LITTLE, but I doubht either can really sing. It was kind of a joke segment, with their love triangle. I thought it was funny that they admitted to telling that shared girlfriend of theirs she was good, when they KNOW she can't sing well! | |
| Collins: Heh. Their schtick would get old after a...few minutes. I liked that they busted on their girl and on past contestants, though. Good try, not quite good enough. |
|
| Funk: It was just a creepy love triangle. The Three's Company stuff was hilarious, though! It may have been one of the most tone-deaf beatboxes I've ever heard. And that one dude losing his place, just keep going "Yeah, let's go...okay..." Ha ha...man, weak. |
|
| Heart: Speaking of Ashley Lawing, the cute dog was pretty much the only thing worth watching! | |
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| Funk: Does the puppy count as a gimmick, officially? It was funny enough, but...get outta' here and take your twin loves with you. I don't know, just strange. |
| Collins: Cute dog, wicked accent...horrible singer. Next! |
|
| Heart: Cardin Lee McKinney, I like her name and her singing...but I didn't think she was too theatrical. You know, maybe that kid from Atlanta was right...I'm starting to think that, just maybe, Simon DOES have a script right in front of him. | |
|
| Funk: Pushover Paula strikes again, but I'm okay with it, this time. Nice voice. |
| Collins: She DID sound theatrical, but she was singing a show tune, in her defense. Either way, she's through...and has a chance to not sound so stage-y in Hollywood. Time will tell. |
|
| Heart: I liked JoAnne Borgella's confidence, especially in being a plus-size model. She knows how to dress for her size, unlike some girls. And her voice was good! It was a little light, but I think she'll step it up, it can be stronger! | |
|
| Funk: She was a good person with a very nice voice. I dig it. |
| Collins: I think she was a big girl with an OKAY voice. Let's be honest, here. She's not as strong as past big girls, even. She won't win it all. I did think it was unintentially funny when Paula said, "I bet there are a LOT of different sounds that come out of you!" |
|
| Heart: How do people like Alesha Stelzl get all the way to the audition in front of the judges without SOMEONE telling them they sound like they're sucking helium?! Her voice started out really strange...but, when she learned a Dolly Parton song and came back in, it turned out song choice really DOES make a big difference, and she did well enough to make it to Hollywood! | |
| Collins: I refuse to let her off the hook. Take One of her audition was just PAINFULLY bad, the Celine Dion mess. |
|
| Funk: Man, she was horrible times THREE. I mean, she did sound a LITTLE better after learning the Dolly Parton song, but she's still not gonna' go far. Funny that Simon admitted it, too. And her mom looked like Dolly, that was kind of wild. |
| Collins: Or Dollywood, ha ha. |
| Collins: It's gonna' be a LONG season finding Dolly Parton songs that fit every theme week for her to sing...Alesha's doomed from the start. |
|
| Heart: Brandi Gregorie was way too showy, and kept removing clothing... | |
|
| Funk: Yeah. Striptease? NO. |
| Collins: Eew. Clothes on. |
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| Heart: Charles Randy Leviner was a rocker who picked a song with swearing in it. DUH! This is American Idol! Do you REALLY think you'll change everything and make it to the finals pulling that kind of stunt on a FAMILY SHOW? It's just dumb. | |
|
| Funk: Get out, Johnny Swears-a-Lot. |
| Collins: He wasn't good, and you both already pointed out the cursing. Good riddance. |
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| Heart: Joshua Moreland was a little over the top, but I was impressed by how high he coudl sing. I think he could've gotten through to Hollywood with a different song choice. | |
|
| Funk: I'll tell you what, J-Smoove was just okay. Not good enough to get through, and the glitter was just weird. |
| Collins: He lost it on the high notes. Too much weakness revealed in there...but he was passable, if derivative, until he started getting "fancy." |
|
| Heart: And Simon only helped sweep up the sparkles because the cameras were on! It was really kinda' rude towards that staff girl, I thought... | |
| Collins: Simon being RUDE?!!!! No, say it ain't SO, Julie! |
|
| Heart: I'm just saying. Anyway, moving on...Chikezie Eze, what a strange name. He seemed a little forgettable to me when he first walked in, but he was nice and so was his voice. | |
| Collins: Not the new Ruben...not terrible. Welcome to Hollywood, and that memorable name might just help you hang in there, Chikezie. |
|
| Funk: Decent voice! I liked this guy. |
| Collins: Just get ready for "Take it EZE" signs in the crowd if he makes it through. Ugh. |
|
| Heart: Danny Noriega, you know, he was a weird kid, but I like him! | |
|
| Funk: He tried out before, but I think Randy was only pretending to remember this cat. He reminded me of Michael Jackson a little, with the snaps and the blues grunts. Not bad. |
| Collins: Michael Jackson's a musical GENIUS. Danny's just a strange kid who bounced back after last season's nervous breakdown and showed that he's got decent rhythm and attitude. If he can keep his head on straight, he may do very well. |
|
| Funk: Woah, woah! I said he REMINDED me of Jacko. I didn't mean he was as good. |
| Collins: Right, then. Julie? Wrap this up, I'd like to get on to Hollywood, now. |
|
| Heart: Okay, post-game time. Now that this is over...what was the point, really? | |
| Collins: Extending the season artificially by adding an extra night of audition footage. Simple as that, the producers and FOX want as much Idol on the air as possible. I don't think I'm being cynical, it's kind of obvious. It just kills the momentum a bit, going into Hollywood on a string of mediocre auditions! |
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| Heart: We saw, like, 15 people today, and the 5 that made it weren't really THAT impressive. The rejects weren't that crazy or entertaining to warrant their own show, either. | |
| Collins: I'm sure next week will turn things around, though. The stupid bits are over, and it becomes about the drama of selecting the next winner of American Idol. Basically, it begins to get EXCITING, again. Something's actually at stake for all of the finalists, and they have to put up or shut up. |
***** DISCLAIMER *****
The opinions expressed by the three "FOX43 Idol Experts" do not necessarily reflect the opinions of FOX43, Tribune Broadcasting or FOX.
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