Golden Boy David "Archie" Archuleta bears more than a passing vocal resemblance to Clay Aiken...he might actually be Clay Aiken. Same musical style. Same sloppy, gawky, awkward look. Same old lady fanbase. Before long, they'll probably move into some kind of Adult Contemporary Batcave, together, living as celebrity millionaire and faithful ward.

You have to admit, Archie gives off a Dumb & Dumber vibe whenever he speaks. Lloyd Christmas is an okay match...but the next one is pretty much my favorite...

David A = kd lang! Oh, quit whining about how "mean" that is. Just LOOK AT THEM! Totally the same person. He may be her tiny clone. Mini-lang, or something.

Carly and Delta Burke are a match made in heaven...especially after Seacrest pointed out this week that the tabloids are chalking up her "extra weight" to pregnancy! Mrs. Smithson denied it, of course. The pregnancy part, that is. Not the chubbiness.

Remember when Jimmy Fallon played that college stoner character? Yeah. Jason Castro's that guy.

But he's MORE this guy! Look at those baby blues! I think I've fallen in love with both of them. Can't...look away...too...adorable...AAAARG!

Chikezie reminds me of Reuben, both in looks and in song choice. Didn't make it quite as far in the competiton, though.

I think he's got a bit of Big Willie Style going on, too. Gettin' 'Kezie with it!

I found a bunch of David Cook-type matches. I'll get meaner (and more accurate) as we go along. See that brooding look on Young Bowie's face? See that hair? Not too shabby.

This Pete Wentz tool is a perfect match for David Cook. Because they look similar, and are both complete tools.

Wrestler Jeff Hardy has 'tude to spare...and gets bonus points because he could beat the snot out of Cook. I'd watch that match!

David Cook = Julia Roberts as "Tinkerbell" in Hook. Come on, you see it. But this LAST one is truly perfect in every way.

I think he might actually BE Beetlejuice. It's uncanny. Feel free to make this your forum signature and post it elsewhere on the Internets. It's pretty much brilliant.

You wouldn't like Michael Johns when he's angry...and you probably wouldn't like Lou Ferrigno at all, in any situation.

Not the best match, but Amy Poehler would be really funny if she played KLC in American Idol Season 7: The Movie. A comedienne WOULD have to play Kristy, at this point. She's just laughable.

Back to WWE, where we find Playboy covergirl Maria...not a bad match for our patriotic warbler.

Sorry. Little Miss Little House IS Kristy Lee Cook. This one's perfect. The look is dead-on, and they both have experience with horses. I like this one.

Now, let's have some fun. Biker-Nurse, you tortured me long enough. Hopefully, looking at you next to the chick from Strangers with Candy will cause you as much torment as listening to your voice every week caused me.

There's a bit of a Ginger Spice thing going. Not great, but you can see why I included it. The next two more than make up for it.

Amanda Overmyer is Monkee Mickey Dolenz? I'm a believer!

Poor, unfortunate souls...if only Amanda had been able to steal someone's beautiful singing voice before showing up on Idol.

Syesha totally looks like the bubbly, curly-haired chick from the morphing bit at the end of Michael Jackson's "Black or White" video. Spot-on.

I've saved my favorite for last. Brooke White is Phoebe's soulmate. Slightly out-there, strumming her little guitar and singing songs about smelly cats, or whatever. A great match, but...

...I think she's just as adorable as a little puppy, no matter what.

And that is how this season's best play the Match Game.

***** DISCLAIMER *****
The opinions expressed by the three "FOX43 Idol Experts" do not necessarily reflect the opinions of FOX43, Tribune Broadcasting or FOX.
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