Last night was the season finale of The Hills and all I have to say is LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME. All of the gossip rags, internet buzz and Lauren Conrad herself claimed that there was going to be a BIG LIFE-CHANGING ANNOUNCEMENT. I thought it could only be one of two things, Lauren was getting low-lights put in her hair or she was pregnant with Brody Jenner's baby. Of course, the announcement was even more of a let-down than either of those. Are you ready for the big spoiler (for those of you who haven't watched it)? There's going to be another season. No. That's it. Yawn. These kids wouldn't know how to keep a job if it weren't for this show. Did you see Lauren's eyes glaze over when she was asked about Paris? It was like she had just gone to Cabo instead of across the globe. So, I guess now we get to follow Lauren to Paris where she can prove that our best export is materialism.
Did anyone else notice that the absence of a ring on Heidi's hand made her new breast implants look bigger? No? Just me? Ok. I really want Kristen Cavilleri back. Not only did she make being a bitch hot, but she also was the most real person they've had on the show (besides Elodie and Lo). Did I remember correctly when I think I heard Lo call herself a "Poopie head"? Why do I love her so much? Is it her lazy eye? It might be.
Seriously, that finale was about as interesting as watching the elderly doing water aerobics...Actually I take that back, elderly water aerobics is really cute, this was just a snoozefest.
Here is a mixtape dedicated to this sorry excuse for a season finale:
"Here I Go Again" - Whitesnake at its best
"Who Do You Think You Are" - in honor of the Spice Girls reunion tour!
"Who the Hell Are You" - much more appropriate
"Ces bottes sont faites pour marcher" - The French do an awesome Nancy Sinatra