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Worst Opening Pitches: Ceremonial Pitches Gone Bad

What does every president since William Howard Taft, Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and a nude female skydiver have in common?

All have thrown out the ceremonial pitch at a major league baseball game. And yes, a female skydiver in her birthday suit landed at Hi Corbett Field in Tucson, Arizona, to throw out the opening pitch in a 1978 minor league game.

Some of those ceremonial pitches were strikes and others were...well, not even close. In honor of Opening Day, the crew at Watch This Now is paying tribute to those ceremonial pitches that were most unceremonious.

We proudly present the five worst opening pitches of all-time (as long as all-time is defined as "found on the Internet").

5. Dr. KO

An administrator at the University of Nevada-Reno medical school threw out the first pitch and also managed to throw himself.

4. T-Rex

Who invited a Tyrannosaurus Rex to throw out the first pitch at U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago? Everyone knows they have itty-bitty arms.

Plus as far as dinosaurs go, the T-Rex is way overexposed. How about giving a little love to the Muttaburrasaurus?

3. Real Men of Genius

I feel bad for this guy. Not only is he embarrassed, but his shame became part of a beer company's advertising campaign.


2. Mariah Carey

The pop singer opened a Japanese baseball game last year with this remarkable pitch. I bet the pitching mound has never seen shoes like those before.

1. Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory

Wow, to beat out Mariah Carey and the dinosaur, you know Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory's pitch has got to be dreadful. If you want to learn more about the pitch, check out this clip of the mayor on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

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Comments

Doesn't one of Bush's have to be on here? If I recall correctly, he had at least one roll to the plate.

Carl Lewis threw an opening pitch a few years ago that was worse than all of those except for Mallory's. He should have been #2

Whoa whoa whoa, wickethewok, we all know how fun it is to pile on George W., but the one thing that must be admitted is that he is the BEST first pitcher of all time. No question. His post-9/11 toss at Yankee Stadium chokes me up every time I see it.

Dave's right, Dubya threw a strike. Threw one the other night at the Rangers' home opener, too. He's not good at much but he can get a slider over.

BABA BOOEY BABA BOOEY!!!!

Worst first pitch ever, and the aftermath was better.

Howard Stern's penie.

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The Internet has spawned a universe of renegade video: an outpouring of parody, celebrity, sci-fi, bloopers, undiscovered talent and weirdness that defies category. We're in an age where homemade clips flare into worldwide phenomena.

We like this stuff. We think about it. And we show you our favorites.

JON BURSTEIN
Burstein watches anything on television and spends too much time looking for stupid viral videos, according to his wife... < More >
KATHY BUSHOUSE
Someday, if she's lucky, Bushouse will get to appear on VH1's "The World Series of Pop Culture" and finally use her ability... < More >
BRIAN HAAS
A crime reporter at the Sun Sentinel, he’s a dork among dorks with interests in video games, Lost, Heroes and science... < More >
JUSTIN L. ABROTSKY
The self-proclaimed "World's Greatest Online News Producer," he watched far too much television in the 1990s... < More >
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