American Idol fans are insane. This may not be news to most people, but just how insane are they?

Adam Lambert losing American Idol turned grown adults into blubbering, shrieking, gelatinous masses of sorrow, grief and despair. So you can only imagine what it did to the 12-year-old girls out there.

Here's my favorite reactions to Kris Allen, the underdog, winning the "competition" over the much-ballyhooed (and heavily eyelined) Adam Lambert.

Number 5

Here we have a middle-aged woman nearly paralyzed by excitement in the lead-up, only to let out a soul-piercing shriek of pain before slipping into what appears to be a persistent vegetative state.

Number 4

This is perhaps the most bizarre reaction to Lambert's loss. Bailey and her friend literally shake with excitement and giggle like a bunch of stoners in the build-up to the announcement.

Post-announcement, their minds can actually be seen separating into multiple personalities, likely as a defense mechanism against the extreme trauma Kris Allen's win caused them. They laugh and cry intermittently as the terrible reality sinks in and they descend into a Sybil-like psychological abyss.

Number 3

This poor girl appears to go suffer a grand mal seizure at the announcement of this year's American Idol winner. We can only hope that medical help was on hand so she doesn't swallow her tongue.

Number 2

Remember the "Shrieking Eels" from the movie "The Princess Bride"? The writer must have been inspired by the ringleader in this video.

A serious word of warning: TURN DOWN YOUR VOLUME BEFORE PLAYING

Hit the jump for my favorite insane American Idol fan reaction to Adam Lambert's losing!

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Watch This Now fans, we need your help.

We're putting together a list of the top 10 best American Idol performances to run next Tuesday, and want your suggestions for our list. Which Idols deserve to be among the best? Leave a list of your favorites here as a comment, or e-mail them to kbushouse@SunSentinel.com.

And if you're looking for someplace to watch next week's Idol finale, won't you watch it with the Sun Sentinel's very own Tom Jicha? Click here for more information.

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After tomorrow, there will be only two.

But let's not kid ourselves. The best part of American Idol is not the overproduced performances, the "stars" that emerge, celebrity judges or even Simon's snarky comments. No, the best part is the train wreck section at the beginning of each season, where we get a taste of those who not only don't make the cut, but end up featured for some well-deserved humiliation.

In honor of the American Idol juggernaut, I bring you the top 5 worst American Idol auditions ever. Or, at least, the ones I could find on Youtube.

#5
James Lewis was a nice enough looking guy in Season 7. He's dressed nicely, polite to the judges.

Then, he opens his mouth. And what issues forth is a rendition of "Go Down Moses" that sounds like a cross between Herman Munster and Jabba the Hutt on amateur karaoke night. "Let my people go?" No. Let my eardrums go.

Please. Let my eardrums go.

#4
Season 2 brought us Keith Beukelaer. I'm not completely sure whether this guy is really this creepy or he's embarked upon some performance art kick designed to see just how much he can disturb our sensibilities.

Regardless, his rendition of "Like a Virgin" is an abomination on a Biblical level.

Even though his singing didn't convince the judges, I'm pretty convinced that he's more than just "like" a virgin.

#3
Season 6 brought us the lumberjack-like Steven "Red" Thoen, whose Forrest Gumpish responses to the judge's questions hint at a little too much time spent huffing glue in the garage.

And his singing? His Freddie Mercury impression makes him sound like he was struck in the groin with a sledgehammer.

Which is the least he deserves for this appalling act of audio torture.

#2
We have to go all the way back to Season 1 for our second worst American Idol auditioner. There, we'll meet Derek Stillings, a puberty-challenged, lanky New Yorker who looks like the main character in the white rapper parody movie Malibu's Most Wanted.

I'll give him this: he's got a few moves. But his warbling take on... well, what the hell is he singing? I'm not entirely sure anyone's ever identified the song.

Let's face it: he sounds like a little kid sitting on the washer, singing a song during the spin cycle.

Who's number 1? Hit the jump. Believe me when I say it is well worth it.

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I'm sure it was an honest mistake. But really, Seacrest, the guy is holding a cane. That should have been a sign to you that maybe the high-five wasn't the smartest move.

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By now we all know who won last night's American Idol.

But who won the American Idol underwear dance off? The final pair starred in commericals for Guitar Hero, parodying Tom Cruise's famous "Risky Business" underwear dance.

David Archuleta's video:

David Cook's video:

Tom Cruise's video:

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I have a love-hate relationship with American Idol. I didn't watch for several seasons, but somehow last year got hooked into watching the show. Then I got burned when America voted off Melinda Doolittle. I'm still wondering how America could be so stupid.

I swore not to watch this year out of respect for Melinda, but still found myself coming back for more Idol. I didn't find another Melinda this season, but was impressed with what I saw from David Cook. Of course, that I liked him should have been enough to doom him.

So I was pleased to see him win Wednesday night, especially since I figured the other David (Archuleta) was a lock to win. Blake Lewis taught me to never underestimate the awesome power of teenage girls, who I thought would come out in force for Archuleta.

In case you didn't catch the finale performances from Tuesday, here's a clip of David Cook covering U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." And after the jump, more David Cook clips, including Cook getting the Idol crown.

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Be kind: Paula Abdul has said that sitting on America's most popular TV show and listening to amateurs sing for several hours a week is hard, very hard work. And sometimes she just mixes up her notes.

But now, it seems, the cat's out of the bag. The wobbly American Idol judge slipped up yesterday and suggested rehearsals help her form an opinion, which gives the lie to the ostensible spontaneity of the show:

You can read our own critic Tom Jicha's take on the controversy, and last night's show here. And check out MTVs "Top Five Times Paula Abdul Has Stretched the Limits of Logic."

Finally, just to explain to younger readers why this woman is a judge in the first place, here's a homage to Paula in her glory days:

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American Idol castaway Danny Noriega made an appearance on Ellen Wednesday. Check out his quick interview and performance:

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Ok, full disclosure: this WTN writer doesn't get the whole American Idol thing.

First, I don't like listening to other people singing my favorite classics, unless there's some really great interpretation. (example: Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder doing "Last Kiss.") Nor do I like the whole non-rock band orientation (Vedder would have probably been voted off in the first round).

So that's where I'm coming from. That said, I was really ticked off to see Simon Cowell, who I can't seem to escape even though I don't watch the show, quoted as calling 'In My Life,' a boring song. Adding to the insult is that it was sung by South Florida's own Ramiele Malubay. I mean, really, the gall:

But Cowell apparently does have a sense of humor, or at least a sense of marketing. He did this wonderful parody on The Simpsons a while back. (They really should add the trap door to the show.)

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Alexis Cohen, that glittery-eyeshadowed Grace Slick wannabe who thinks "Allentown" is a Bon Jovi song, inspired what I think should be this season's loser-goes-home song on American Idol. Beats that Daughtry song, anyway.

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No surprise that this number from Tuesday's American Idol is already on YouTube. Sure, you can have your wacky girl from Allentown, PA, but Milo's pro-abstinence ditty is what stuck in my head:

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Another installment in my tribute to American Idol, which you may have heard is back on TV.

There’s something to be said for picking one thing and sticking to it. This guy's an athlete but he also plans to be an actor, model, author, singer-songwriter-rapper-choreographer-producer and composer (as well).

He should stick to the panther impression, if you ask me. That’s solid gold.

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I remember when this first was broadcast (and when I saw it again and again on The Soup). I was floored then. Still am now.

You’re tone-deaf, you can’t sing, and yet you believe you can win a singing competition? “I can be the first American Idol who never sang before.” Yikes.

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