Quickie Review: Kids' Choice Awards
I'm beyond speechless at the mainstream media's (MSM's) sudden interest in the Kids' Choice Awards (KCA's.) I mean, they give out blimps, and Jack Black, host, is even more satanic than usual, and there's green slime, and..
But there it is anyway: Massive post-Saturday coverage, and stories everywhere this morning, and so on. Have the KCAs - been around 20 years already - suddenly become IMPORTANT? I noted one commentator mentioning how important they were because it's another way of finding out what kids are going to be buying/tuning into this year, or for years to come. Please: Do not take offense at this (and no offense is intended), but that's kinda dumb. Kids vote for stuff that they ALREADY bought or WATCHED, and in some cases ("Drake and Josh") have watched over and over and over again. These aren't consumerist zeitgeist awards - they're just additional confirmation of everything the studio suits (who have been pushing this stuff) already knew.
I'm not gonna post the winners here, cuz who cares - seriously - but I will note that "Hannah Montana" did not win best TV show. I predicted that it wouldn't - yes, I like to brag now and then when I actually make an accurate prediction, which is understandable because accurate predictions are not my strong suit (see: "DWTS") - but "Hannah Montana" is so over, and I am beginning to wonder whether Miley Cyrus (by association) is too...
Of course, she had a big night, and remains hotter than a nuclear reactor, even though I was kinda disappointed by her performance on Saturday - hoarse and frequently off-key - but what do I know? It's the kids that matter, the kids. I was also disappointed that Britney Spears - as rumored - didn't show up to corrupt, errr, entertain the young minds, and then it occurred to me: She wouldn't be caught dead in the same stadium with Miley, who would simply remind Brit that SHE is the current Queen of Tweens, and that BRIT has been permanently dethroned.
Nick reported, and I quote, that "88,254,272 million kids cast votes March 3-29 in 18 categories to honor their favorites..."
It's a record, we're told, but it could simply mean that ten kids cast 8 million votes each; that's a possibility, but probably not too likely. Simple fact is, the KCAs are hot, and have been so for years and years.
So, was is any good? An adult's opinion is irrelevant, so I will now switch to my eight-year-old brain (which for me is very easy to do:)
"It was AWESOME. I loved the way Heidi Clom or Klem or whatever her name was popped those balloons. I wished I could do that. I hear you can eat the slime. I wonder what it tastes like? Who was that really old guy - Harrison somebody - who got slimed? Isn't Miley AWESOME!!!!
But you know what I got, like, really confused by? When Josh and Drake came on stage. I love those guys. I could tell who Josh was. But what happened to Drake? He's got hair on his face. It's red. I think he's gotta shave.
Man, those awards, they were AWESOME!."
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