The TV Zone

This is why writing about TV is so much fun - you getta use the words "Jerry Springer," "songwriting contest" and "absolute insanity" in the same sentence.

As evidence: Jerry Springer is mounting an absolutely insane songwriting contest, in which viewers of one of the worst and most-compulsively watchable (though you hate yourself afterward) TV shows ever are asked to write songs about it.

The winner gets something.

God knows what...

Here are the details from the press release:

"Give us your best shot America," says Jerry, in said press release. "We want to see your version of 18 seasons of 'The Jerry Springer Show' put to music "Think of all the wild and crazy characters and topics that you have at your fingertips on this one...you'll be everyone's idol."

[Oh, I remember the time where the hugely obese woman grabbed her husband by the hair and then, with her left hand, grabbed a chair and started re-arranging the guy's face with it; Jerry stood there, with his chin in hand, and I think Steve Wilkos finally broke it up. I'll set this fracas to "Some Enchanted Evening." ]

More from the press release:

"Three finalists will be flown to Chicago and the Grand Prize winner of the "Springer Singer Search" will win $5,000.

"All that is required is that the music and lyrics are original and about "The Jerry Springer Show." Each contestant must create a video of their original song and submit it through www.jerryspringertv.com, or via regular mail on DVD. All mail submissions should be sent care of "The Jerry Springer Show/Springer Singer Search" to 454 North Columbus Drive, Chicago, Illinois, 60611. Entries will be judged on originality, knowledge of the show, creativity and musical talent."

One word: HELLLPPP!!!