Jay to Ellen: I Had a 'Fever' (The TV Zone)

He feels fine.Thanks for asking. (AP)

Good God, Jay: Now it's a "fever" that put you in the hospital?

That officially makes Reason # 6, others including food poisoning, heat rash, attack by killer bees, adult onset of acute loss of late night hosting gigitis.

I do hope NBC has a straight answer from The Most Important Guy on the NBC Payroll (By Far).

This is starting to look worrisome.

Anyway, here's a big outtake of today's chat with Ellen.

Pretty funny line below on "Lipstick Jungle" - which is almost certainly true. But to read this, one gets the sense that Jay is saying that because he IS the Most Important Guy on the NBC Payroll (By Far), the network over-reacted.

So, I guess that's reason No. 7: "It's wasn't the bee sting - the network made me go."

He kinda said that before. But think about it - network exec tells Jay to go to hospital because he has fever; Jay happily agrees and goes.

Does this sound plausible?

It gets better! At the end of this, Jay notes that he "wanted to make sure" that he passed the baton on to the best person, and that would be Conan. I see: So Jay happily planned his own succession and everything has worked out perfectly according to plan. He never really wanted to stay beyond seventeen years, and "seventeen" does have a lovely ring to it, does it not?

I'm gonna miss Jay when he's gone. Oh, wait: He's not going anywhere, is he?

Ellen: How are you feeling?

Jay: I am feeling fine. There is nothing wrong with me.

Ellen: You were in the hospital Jay.

Jay: I was only the hospital because my show makes money for NBC. We have an ODN at the show. An overly dramatic nurse. I came in and I had a fever. I've done the show with a 103 fever before it's not too big a deal. If I was on "Lipstick Jungle" I could have had a bullet in my head and they wouldn't of taken me to the hospital. When you have a show that makes money..Oh my God. So they take me to the hospital...I'm in the hospital, I'm lying in the bed and not an hour later I hear (knock) yes, I'm Mr. Leno's Priest, I'm here to see him. Well, I'm not even Catholic. It's a Catholic hospital and the nurse goes..where are you from? We're the Jesuits, I'm a Jesuit Priest so and so and the nurse goes, well most Jesuits call themselves Father. Oh, (and the guy runs off.) So NBC says, well let's send some guards down. Now there are guards ..It's like the Godfather. I'm in the room at the end of the hall with armed guards. It was ridiculous.

Ellen: Well, you know I worried because I know after the motorcycle accident, I know how tough you are and you'll work through anything and when I heard that we called (the show)

Jay: I appreciate that. It's not tough. Exhaustion is like a rich man's disease. Poor people don't get exhausted....when you have a TV show you make a lot of money...'he's exhausted.'

Ellen: Now you're moving almost 17 years to the day. How are you feeling? Is it a little sad? Are you excited?

Jay: It was great fun. "The Tonight Show" is sort like the "America's Cup" you don't want to be the guy to screw it up and lose it. It's been the number one show since the 50's. Jack Parr gives it to Johnny (Carson). Johnny of course has the greatest run ever, and [they] give it to you...I didn't screw it up. Conan take it. You don't want to be the guy who drops it and loses it. So that's the great fun of it and all the tradition that goes with it. It's been a great experience over the years.

Ellen: And it was important to you to make it a smooth transition then for Conan.

Jay: Yeah, really important because the last time it happened I had been guest hosting since 1986 and I got the show in 1992. At the time Dave (Letterman) thought he would get the show but I had been guest hosting all along and the network came and said we want you to have it and then there were bad feelings and it was just handled poorly. So I just wanted to make sure the next person that got it, Conan, [was] most deserving and it was an easy transition and it will be and it has been."

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Jay to Ellen: I Had a 'Fever'

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