The TV Zone

It’s hard to comment on some of today’s St. Patrick’s Day-themed programming without seeming to make the same assumptions as the networks who scheduled the shows. So keep in mind that I’m only the messenger here in reporting that more than one channel seems to think the whole Irish identity comes down to – you guessed it – drinking.

The high-def folks at MOJO sent around press releases boasting about their St. Patrick’s Day salute being a 19-episode marathon of “Three Sheets” (2 p.m.-midnight March 17), Zane Lamprey's globetrotting travelogue of bars, pubs and alcohol offerings. Today's marathon makes stops at (in order) Belgium, Costa Rica, Wales, France, Jamaica, Mexico, Ireland, Belize, Croatia, Japan, Czech Republic, Philippines, Venice, Taipei, Munich, Puerto Rico, South Korea, Kentucky and finally New York City.

Even the History channel is in the drink, using St. Patrick’s Day to premiere a new “Modern Marvels” (8 p.m. March 17) hour about whiskey. Their cameras visit the makers of Jack Daniel’s, Jim Beam, Canadian Club, Jameson's and Glenlivet.

Check out History’s St. Patrick’s Day history, quiz, recipes and videos here. See "Three Sheets" video here.

Now that I have your attention . . .

Racy 1930s pre-code features are on tap again tonight on Turner Classic Movies. Before the censors took the reins for Hollywood's "golden age," filmmakers tried getting adult in ways they wouldn't again approach until the 1960s (when they exceeded those ways immeasurably).

It's all explained in tonight's new TCM documentary "Thou Shalt Not: Sex, Sin and Censorship in Pre-Code Hollywood" (Monday, March 3 at 9:30 p.m. and 2:30 a.m.), promising to examine "how the [era's] social, financial and moral forces all helped shape one of the most intriguing periods in Hollywood history." Anybody who's seen Barbara Stanwyck sleep her way to the top of the corporate food chain in 1933's "Baby Face" knows what that means. (You can watch her do it again this Saturday night, March 8 at 12:30 a.m.)

Tonight's lineup:
8 p.m. - "The Divorcee" (1930), with Norma Shearer in a "double standard" expose.
10:45 p.m. - "Night Nurse" (1931), Stanwyck again, with Clark Gable.
12 midnight - "Three on a Match" (1932), with Joan Blondell, Bette Davis and gangsters.
1:15 a.m. - "Female" (1933), Ruth Chatterton as a female CEO "who's used to buying love."
3:45 a.m. - "A Free Soul" (1931), with Lionel Barrymore, Shearer and Gable.

You shouldn't be surprised to learn that TCM's corporate-allied video arm (Warner) is releasing another set of pre-code DVDs tomorrow (March 4). "Forbidden Hollywood Collection, Vol. 2" contains all five of tonight's vintage features.

With so little that’s truly fresh finding its way to network prime-time anymore, you hate to see a scripted series that’s actually ambitious and relevant getting pushed to the back burner.

But that’s what happens this weekend with “Aliens in America,” the CW comedy that used to air in Monday’s 8 p.m. hour, but has now -- to make room for more of those oh-so-profound “reality” programs -- been shunted to the CW’s little-watched Sunday lineup (8:30 on CW/11).

New episodes arrive this weekend and continue through spring, so you can still watch “Aliens” take a swing at great things. Sometimes it whiffs, and sometimes its technique is a little immature, I admit. But what other series dares to plop a Muslim Pakistani teenager into the white-bread midwest of suburban Wisconsin, where two confounded cultures get to learn to get along with each other?

While so many of the reality shows with which The CW now lavishes us (Monday’s “Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious”?) are superficial and mean-spirited, “Aliens” shows folks opening their hearts -- and yes, their minds -- where they don’t have to and maybe don’t want to. Exchange student Raja (Adhir Kalyan) brings a broader world to high school host Justin (Dan Byrd) and family (especially mom Amy Pietz). And Raja learns to understand where Americans are coming from, while still upholding his own firm cultural/religious beliefs.

“Aliens” employs a heightened comic reality that some viewers have found too simplistic, the Americans being ignorant boobs, the Pakistani boy offering precocious wisdom, and most of it being delivered through juvenile antics. But that’s not always true. And it’s certainly not the point. As in its equally warm kid-centered lead-in, “Everybody Hates Chris” (now airing Sundays at 8), people are people, no matter who or what (or where) they are. Instead of fearing the unfamiliar, or jumping to cliched conclusions, these characters celebrate curiosity, compassion and the commonality of us all.

And in this TV era where people are increasingly judged on their looks, celebrity or game-playing ruthlessness, a little slice-of-life centered on the soul is a gift that shouldn’t be overlooked.

[CW photo above: Adhir Kalyan as Raja, Scott Patterson as Gary, Dan Byrd as Justin in "Aliens in America."]

You can’t say HBO isn’t trying to support its fascinating new weeknightly shrink drama “In Treatment” with a variety of viewing options. But you can say it’s mind-boggling trying to figure them out.

In addition to each night’s new half-hour 9:30 p.m. episode on the main HBO channel -- Gabriel Byrne’s psychiatrist sees Melissa George on Monday, Blair Underwood [above with Byrne in HBO photo] on Tuesday, Mia Wasikowska on Wednesday, Josh Charles and Embeth Davidtz on Thursday, and Dianne Wiest as his own therapist on Friday -- the series repeats the previous week’s episode/session as a 9 p.m. lead-in. Then HBO repeats the pair at 11 and 11:30 p.m. that night.

Meanwhile, the HBO Signature digital channel runs a day behind for laggards. For instance, Tuesday’s Underwood episodes encore Wednesday at 8 and 8:30 p.m. on HBO Signature.

Then comes the weekend. HBO2 repeats the entire week’s new episodes Saturday 10 p.m.-12:30 a.m. The main HBO channel runs the same mini-marathon Sunday 6:30-9 p.m.

HBO Signature runs an entire week’s episodes, too, on Sunday nights at 9. Except those are three weeks behind. So immediately after the main HBO channel compiles Week Five this Sunday (March 2), you can flip to HBO Signature to watch Week Two.

And don’t forget: The main HBO airings are simulcast on HBO HD and HBO Latino, the latter in Spanish.

P.S.: HBO On Demand viewers can watch any episode from all previous five weeks any time they want.

P.P.S.: Did we mention the two-minute recaps at HBO's web site?

Hope this helps. But I doubt it.

“Heath Ledger: A Tragic End” looks back at the Australia native’s life, busy movie (and TV) career, and Jan. 22 death in Manhattan. E! News’ Jason Kennedy hosts the special Friday (Feb. 22) at 8 p.m. on E!

While the title seems to focus on the 28-year-old actor’s drug-related demise one month ago, E! promises the half-hour also explores his “great risks as an actor, in a kaleidoscope of diverse roles from a conflicted cowboy in ‘Brokeback Mountain’ to the maniacal Joker in the soon to be released ‘Batman the Dark Knight.’”

Some of those roles hit the air this weekend. Ledger plays Mel Gibson’s son in “The Patriot” (Saturday at 2:15 p.m. on 5StarMax, Sunday at 8:15 a.m. on ActionMax), Australian outlaw “Ned Kelly” (Saturday at 10 p.m. on Sundance), and Billy Bob Thornton's prison guard son in “Monster’s Ball” (Sunday at 9:30 a.m. on BIO).

AMC’s hot new comedy-drama breaks the rules this week over on sister cabler IFC. “Breaking Bad Uncut & Uncensored” airs Friday (Feb. 22) at 9-11 p.m., presenting the acclaimed series’ first two episodes in a “director’s cut” and without commercial interruption.

The latter is possibly the best news, because “Breaking Bad” weaves a web of both character suspense and black comedy that benefits mightily from uninterrupted immersion. The “uncensored” boast may not make as much difference, but be aware the channel is labeling this airing with a TV rating of MA for sex, language and violence.

IFC also passes along this handy translation for the behavior of Bryan Cranston as the New Mexico chemistry teacher and cancer victim who decides to devote his remaining time to cooking some fine crystal meth, with tragic yet horrifyingly hilarious consequences:

“BREAK BAD: To behave in a violent, wanton, or outrageous manner for no discernible reason.”
- The Complete How to Speak Southern

In the meantime, “BB” homeland AMC is sneaking a peek of this Sunday’s (Feb. 24) 10 p.m. fifth episode at the series’ home page. The first two episodes are streaming there, too.

Great chance this week to catch up to one of the season’s best new drama-comedy creations.

“Breaking Bad” gets a three-episode mini-marathon from AMC this Wednesday (Feb. 13), 8-11 p.m. The series’ first three hours set up the story of a high school chemistry teacher who gets into the crystal meth business for the weirdest of reasons.

But this is the weirdest of shows -- a sort of warm weather “Fargo” taking place in the New Mexico desert, all dry humor and deadly action, rolled together into a quirky adult concoction.

It’s also got the breakout performance of the year from Bryan Cranston [in AMC photo at right], who always had a deft touch as the hapless dad of “Malcolm in the Middle,” but here gets to broaden his range more acutely. Cranston wrings tragedy out of black humor, making us feel his pain even as we laugh at its absurdity. Smart stuff.

“Breaking Bad” regularly airs new episodes on AMC Sunday night at 10. There’s also a superb web site crammed with video and games. (Episodes 1 and 2 are still streaming there. All episodes also available as paid downloads at iTunes, where there's also a free making-of featurette.)

Good news for “House” fans who couldn’t stay up till midnight to see Sunday's post-Super Bowl episode. Fox just announced it will repeat (sorry, “encore”) the South Pole hour guest-starring Mira Sorvino on Friday, Feb. 15 at 9 p.m.

“House” will continue to “encore” at that Friday hour through April 18, Fox says.

Thirty million viewers watched the Sunday airing. Sez the net, “Sunday night’s ‘House’ was the show’s highest rated episode ever across all demos and the highest rated scripted program on any network in two years among Adults 18-49 and Total Viewers. Additionally, the episode was Fox’ highest rated scripted series telecast in over 10 years in Adults 18-49 as well as in 11 years in Total Viewers.”

Another new episode airs tonight (Tuesday, Feb. 5) at 9 p.m., as Hugh Laurie’s character digests the Sunday news flash that best bud Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) is dating the Cutthroat [Witch] he cut from his medical team (Anne Dudek).

[Enjoy this Fox photo of the lovely couple.]

UPDATED 4:45 p.m. Feb. 4, 2008 -- CBS now says Eli Manning WON'T be on tonight's Letterman show. He'll appear instead Wednesday night, Feb. 6. Guess Dave wanted Hillary all to himself. Or vice versa.

Original post below.

Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning visits "Late Show With David Letterman" tonight (11:35 p.m. on CBS/2), joining previously scheduled Hillary Clinton for one whopper of an hour.

In the interest of equal time, CBS' Letterman web page is featuring Barack Obama's Top Ten list of campaign promises.

Most of us don’t get NBC Universal’s Chiller channel (or its mystery outlet Sleuth, for that matter, or Universal HD in non-high-def homes).

Here’s more to wish for. This week, Chiller adds two ’90s cult items. First comes Chris Carter’s “Millennium” (Mon-Fri 7 p.m. and 3 a.m.), where the “X-Files” creator hopped on the Y2K bandwagon (gee, remember that?), casting Lance Henriksen as a psychic investigating an end-of-the-world prophecy.

Then comes one of my all-time faves: “Profit,” a twisted eight-episode gem with "Heroes" star Adrian Pasdar [right] as a demented corporate climber who’ll stop at nothing to exact a very psycho sort of revenge. Trust me -- this one is deliriously weird.

The first two hours run Thursday, Feb. 7 at 8 p.m. and midnight. Episodes (including some Fox never aired) then air Thursday at 8 and 11 p.m. Check Chiller’s “Profit” page for details.

One of our favorite shows of all time returns for an encore run this weekend, so rev up the DVR to catch it from the very start.

Starring Paul Gross (“Due South”) and Mark McKinney (“Kids in the Hall”), “Slings & Arrows” is so unique and so delightful, we can hardly find words to describe it. But here are a few we found in reviewing its original Sundance Channel run:

Funny, romantic, biting, sweet, perceptive and often thrilling, "Slings and Arrows" is an exuberant salute to life, the theater and, not least, the television medium that brings us this rapier wit for six delectable hours, ending much too soon.

Blame Canada for the bracing portrayal of a nonprofit theater company beset by outrageous fortune, including but not limited to: the walking/talking/advice-giving ghost of its egotistical founder, the ever-odder "rebranding" exertions of its geeky business manager, and the oft-demonstrated probable insanity of its dashing director.

When we say TV doesn't get more adult, we don't mean naughty words (though there are many). We mean the intelligence of the approach and the deft shifts in comic/tragic tone.

This paean to the theater also takes on modern marketing, governance and more, but only tangentially to a cast of quirky characters so authentic you can practically smell them.

“Slings & Arrows” now airs Saturday at 3 p.m. and Sunday at 2 p.m. on Sundance Channel.

[In photo: Paul Gross, Don McKellar, Mark McKinney.]

No football this weekend? Not true. NFL Network subscribers can watch to their hearts’ content, including full-game replays of previous Super Bowls, to rev up for this year's big game Sunday, Feb. 3.

DirecTV, DISH and Verizon FIOS viewers may have caught last night’s NFL Network encore of the New York Giants’ valiant Week 17 challenge to the New England Patriots last month; it’s repeating today at 3:30 (also Saturday at 10 a.m. and Sunday at 1 p.m., among other times). Tonight at 9 p.m. (and 2 a.m.) comes a replay of last week’s Giants’ overtime defeat of Green Bay to put them into Super Bowl XLII.

Also airing among NFL Network’s “Super Bowl Classics” (even including halftime performances by Prince, Paul McCartney and U2) -- the Giants’ Super Bowl XXI match against the Denver Broncos (Monday, Jan. 28 at 9 p.m. and 1 a.m.), and Giants-Buffalo Bills in Super Bowl XXV (Wednesday, Jan. 30 at 9 p.m. and 2:30 a.m.). Even the Miami Dolphins perfect-season win over Washington in Super Bowl VII (Saturday, Feb. 2 at 9:30 p.m.).

For more vintage matches and repeat air times, check the NFL Network schedule.

Heath Ledger is the subject of two quickie specials on TV Guide Network this week.

Tonight (Wednesday, Jan. 23) at 8, Lisa Joyner hosts a half-hour special about the “Brokeback Mountain” star who died Tuesday in Manhattan.

Tomorrow night (Thursday, Jan. 24) at 8, Joyner anchors an expanded one-hour special devoted to the late actor.

Other Ledger airings: his Oscar-nominated performance in “Brokeback Mountain” (anytime via HBO On Demand; Friday at 6:05 p.m. on HBO Zone; Sunday at 12:45 p.m. on HBO Signature; late Tuesday Jan. 30 at 1:35 a.m. on HBO).

Plus: 2005’s “Casanova” (Thursday at 2:50 p.m., Encore Love); “10 Things I Hate About You” (Saturday at 9:10 a.m. and 5:40 p.m., Encore Love); and Ledger as a priest in 2003’s “The Order” (Sunday at 4 p.m., WNYW/5).

East Moriches resident Alan Blaustein sits in the hot seat on Thursday's “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” (Jan. 24 at 12:30 p.m. on WABC/7).

A government and economics teacher at Urban Assembly Media High School in Manhattan, Blaustein has wife Michele cheering him on from the audience. He mentions he used to sell motorcycles in Denver, once making a sale to Broncos quarterback John Elway. The Broncos took the Super Bowl the next two seasons, so let’s hope Blaustein’s luck holds for him on “Millionaire.”

Find out about auditioning for the show yourself here.

[Photo above: Courtesy of Valleycrest Productions, Ltd.]

He kicks, he misses. He kicks, he misses. He kicks, he wins the game to send his team to the Super Bowl!

Worth talking about, doncha think? So CBS has announced New York Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes will do just that on tonight’s “Late Show With David Letterman” (Wednesday, Jan. 23 at 11:35 p.m. on CBS/2).

The Scotland native missed two fourth-quarter field goal attempts Sunday, before breaking the Giants’ 20-20 deadlock with the Green Bay Packers at 2:35 into overtime. The Giants face the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl Feb. 3.

To mark Friday’s death of 88-year-old Sir Edmund Hillary -- the New Zealand beekeeper who with Sherpa Tenzing Norgay first reached the top of Mount Everest in 1953 -- National Geographic Channel has added an encore airing of “Surviving Everest” tomorrow night (Saturday, Jan. 12) at 10 p.m.

The one-hour special returns to the peak with the first summiters’ sons, Peter Hillary and Jamling Norgay, in the National Geographic 50th Anniversary Everest Expedition.

“Surviving Everest” also revisits 50 years of tragedy and triumph in Everest-scaling, explores the legendary role of the Sherpa people, and examines the mountain climbers’ impact on the Khumbu region.

What kind of game show would Salvador Dali play?

It’s not a rhetorical question. The pioneering/celebrity surrealist artist actually appeared on CBS’ profession quizzer “What’s My Line?” in the 1960s, utterly stumping the blindfolded panel -- and there’s YouTube footage to prove it:

Such wonders as this can now be found every night in the wee hours on GSN, which has returned its late-night black-and-white block to the cable airwaves. “What’s My Line?” unreels nightly at 3 a.m., followed at 3:30 by “I’ve Got a Secret” -- two sublime little time trips to a simpler yet more sophisticated time, in the ’50s and ’60s, when women played games in evening gowns, men wore tuxes, and celebrities still seemed larger than life rather than small and pathetic.

See for yourself. TV comedy pioneer Milton Berle plays “I’ve Got a Secret” tonight (late Jan. 9/early Jan. 10 at 3:30 a.m.), with flamboyant pianist Liberace and basketball star Wilt Chamberlain showing up tomorrow (late Jan. 10/early Jan. 11 at 3:30 a.m.).

Speaking of surreal, future guests include Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow -- when they were married! -- on “What’s My Line?” (late Jan. 23/early Jan. 24). That show reaches the end of its original run and restarts on GSN from its very vintage 1950 debut on Feb. 25/26.

Matt Groening’s “Futurama” isn’t just back with fresh outings in direct-to-DVD animation. The space-age comedy also gets new life on cable, moving to Comedy Central Jan. 2 at 8 p.m., airing back-to-back episodes this Wednesday-Friday.

“Futurama” then airs on Comedy Central Monday-Thursday at 9 and Fridays at 9 and 9:30 p.m. All 72 outings will unreel there, along with the four new “Futurama” movies made for DVD ("Bender's Big Score," "Bender's Game," "The Beast with a Billion Backs," "Into the Wild Green Yonder").

Sneak a peek here.

Before you hit the stores Black Friday in a shopping spree for Wii, XBOX or PS3 goodies, check out what Discovery Channel is calling its “pixel-by-pixel exploration of the history of video games” -- the five-part docuseries “Rise of the Videogame,” debuting Wednesday, Nov. 21 at 8 p.m.

“Unlike other forms of entertainment,” notes Discovery’s description, “video games turn the viewer into a player who actively shapes the outcome of their experience. At first, video games and the creators were as misunderstood by the public as rock and roll in its infancy.”

That’s where “Rise of the Videogame” starts tonight with “It Started With a Twitch,” before moving next week to “The Rise of Mario” in the late 1970s and early ’80s, when idle Pong play gave way to creative characters and evolving journeys. Then it’s “The World Is Yours” (Dec. 5), in increasingly graphic 3-D worlds; “Power to the Players” (Dec. 12), about creative, educational and “god games” like SimCity; and “Can a Game Make You Cry?” (Dec. 19), led by PlayStation 2’s “emotion engine” and online virtual worlds.

Get into the game with Discovery’s “Rise of the Videogame” site, featuring an episode guide, history timeline, video clips and viewer voting.

Eat ’em up. Monsters HD talks turkey with the undead all Thanksgiving day. The no-edits no-ads zombie feast includes tasty faves from George Romero, Sam Raimi and other horror auteurs.

Romero’s 1985 “Day of the Dead” kicks it off Thursday at 11:10 a.m., followed by Peter Jackson’s “Dead Alive” at 12:55 p.m. and Raimi’s cult classic “The Evil Dead” at 2:35 p.m. And the rest: “Return of the Living Dead” at 4 p.m., “Return of the Living Dead Part 3/Director’s Cut” at 5:35 p.m., “Tombs of the Blind Dead” at 7:15 p.m., and the Monsters HD premiere of “The Undead” at 8:40 p.m.

Then at 10:20 p.m., the entire high-def lineup repeats through the night into Friday morning.

Preview some video clips here.

OK, just when I think I’m out, “Heroes” pulls me back in with a whopper of an episode like last night’s. I think I’m still panting.

We had Claire with her dad doing that classic teen “I hate you!” thing. We had Hiro stopping time and tripping through it all over the place. We had heroes shooting each other, and saving each other, and controlling each other’s minds. AND we had two absolutely great reveals of breathtaking twists -- which you could see coming if you were halfway paying attention, but still they were great.

In fact, maybe they were better-great because you could anticipate them and then pat yourself on the back for being smart enough to follow the carefully laid clues.

Plus, the “Cautionary Tales” hour was laugh-out-loud funny in spots, which reminds us how much we miss that aspect of “Heroes” through episodes like last week’s morbid/morose flashback. Stephen Tobolowsky’s canny Company-man Bob continues to be not only intriguing but also amusing, with his Texas-drawl-dry delivery of lines like last night’s observation about gun-toting enemy H.R.G.: “He’s not big on the listening.” I’m not big on Kristen Bell’s too-cute executioner Elle, myself, but around big daddy Bob, this electric lady is a playful hoot.

And then there was Suresh’s nose getting broken again, and even Mr. Muggles playing a crucial role (or at least his doggie bathtub did) -- this is definitely an hour worth watching again. “Cautionary Tales” is online here, and with commentary here from Bell and Mrs. H.R.G., Ashley Crow, plus episode director Greg Yaitanes. It encores on TV Saturday at 10 p.m. and Sunday at 6 p.m. on G4. And in HD, Wednesday at 11 p.m. and Thursday at 8 p.m. on MOJO.

Now, “two episodes left” sounds like not just a threat but a promise. Of course, Peter will be back, with those other party poopers, the black-tears twins. But so will Niki, and Micah, and his cool new superhero cousin Monica.

You can revisit how we got from there to here with MOJO HD’s Thanksgiving weekend marathon of “Heroes” first season -- all 23 episodes, Friday noon-midnight and Saturday 1 p.m.-midnight.

[At top: Jack Coleman, Ashley Crow, Randall Bentley and Hayden Panettiere, in NBC photo by Chris Haston.]

You knew they’d get around to the fifth borough eventually. And on Dec. 3 at 9:30 p.m., WNET premieres “A Walk Around Staten Island With David Hartman and Barry Lewis.”

That completes the engaging pair’s fact-packed walking tour of NYC. (They also did Newark and Hoboken.)

Some previous city strolls are repeating as an all-day Thanksgiving feast next Thursday on Ch. 13 -- "A Walk Around Brooklyn" (9 a.m.), “A Walk Through Harlem” (11:05 a.m.), “A Walk Through Queens” (12:50 p.m.), “A Walk Through the Bronx” (2:30 p.m.), and "A Walk Through Central Park" (Thursday at 4:05 p.m.).

Hey, WNET -- where’s the DVD set?

[Above: Lewis and Hartman in WNET photo by S. Isbell.]

Because we know you’re absolutely dying to see which shows have Thanksgiving-themed episodes, too . . .

Friday, Nov. 16 – “Roseanne” (5:30 p.m. on Oxygen).

Saturday, Nov. 17 – “The Lawrence Welk Show” (6 p.m. on WLIW/21).

Monday, Nov. 19 – “Everybody Loves Raymond” (6:30 p.m. and midnight on WPIX/11), “Home Improvement” (9 p.m. on Nick at Nite).

Tuesday, Nov. 20 – “Everybody Loves Raymond” (6:30 p.m. and midnight on WPIX/11), “Home Improvement” (9 p.m. on Nick at Nite).

Wednesday, Nov. 21 – “Malcolm in the Middle” (7 a.m. and 3 p.m. on FX), “Dharma & Greg” (8 and 8:30 a.m. on FX), “Full House” (3:30 p.m. on ABC Family; 8:30 p.m. on Nickelodeon), “That ’70s Show” (4 and 4:30 p.m., and midnight and 12:30 a.m. on FX), “Everybody Loves Raymond” (6:30 p.m. and midnight on WPIX/11), “Reba” (8 and 8:30 p.m. on Lifetime), “Home Improvement” (9:30 p.m. on Nick at Nite), “Home Improvement” (midnight and 12:30 a.m. on Nick at Nite), “Friends” (1 a.m. on WPIX/11).

Thursday, Nov. 22 – “Frasier” (10 a.m. on Lifetime), “Full House” (12:30 p.m. on ABC Family), “7th Heaven” (4 p.m. on ABC Family), “Gilmore Girls” (5 p.m. on ABC Family), “Friends” (6 p.m. on WPIX/11), “Everybody Loves Raymond” (6:30 p.m. and midnight on WPIX/11), "Two and a Half Men" (7 p.m. on WPIX/11), “Moesha” (9:30 and 10 p.m. on The N), “Malcolm in the Middle” (12:30 a.m. on WWOR/9), “That ’70s Show” (1 and 1:30 a.m. on WNYW/5), "Will & Grace" (1:30 a.m. on WPIX/11), "Frasier" (2 a.m. on WPIX/11), "George Lopez" (2:30 a.m. on WPIX/11).

And then there’s “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” (Tuesday at 8 p.m. on ABC).

And, of course, “South Park’s” Helen Keller: The Musical (Tuesday at 9:30 p.m. on Comedy Central and Wednesday night/Thursday morning at 3 a.m. on WPIX/11). And the adventures of Starvin’ Marvin (Wednesday at 9:30 p.m. on Comedy Central and Thursday night/Friday morning at 3 a.m., WPIX/11).

Send an “Everybody Loves Raymond” Thanksgiving e-card here.

Discovery’s eye-popping, award-winning portrait “Planet Earth” starts an encore this Sunday, Nov. 11 at 8 p.m., airing two episodes each week for six weeks.

This weekend’s repeat leads into the premiere of “Fearless Planet” Sunday at 10 p.m., described as “a thrill ride through the earth’s most awesome natural wonders, taking extreme filmmaking to a whole new level.” Paragliding record holder Will Gadd visits Hawaii [in Discovery photo above], Alaska, the Grand Canyon, the Sahara and the Great Barrier Reef, exploring “the geological processes that created these natural wonders.”

“Desperate Housewives” extends the costume craziness to Sunday (Nov. 4 at 9 p.m. on ABC) as the neighborhood Halloween party offers an unexpected delivery. Sneek some peeks at the trick-or-treat here. [Above: Marcia Cross and Kyle MacLachlan in ABC photo by Ron Tom.]

Tune in an hour earlier to catch the annual “Treehouse of Horror” installment of “The Simpsons,” at 8 p.m. on Fox.

Set the recorder to catch a seven-hour festival of fright flick faves. For Halloween, Bravo puts together its “100 Scariest Movie Moments” (Wednesday 11 a.m.-4 p.m.) and “Even Scarier Movie Moments” (Wednesday 4-6 p.m.).

Online, the Moviefone folks are picking their 31 Best Horror Films of All Time. They’ve already counted down all but Numero Uno, which is announced on Wednesday’s big day.

And CBS.com plans to host a Halloween “Ghost Whisperer” séance with the series’ co-executive producer and renowned medium himself, James Van Praagh. Log on at 3 p.m. Wednesday for the one-hour event.

Joe Mantegna makes his first appearance on the now Mandy Patinkin-less “Criminal Minds” this Wednesday (Oct. 31 at 9 p.m. on CBS).

Mantegna plays David Rossi, a long-retired agent who once helped found the Behavioral Analysis Unit and now returns to action, sez CBS’ press, with “some unfinished business of his own.” (Why are we not surprised?)

Sneak a peek at him here, in a video preview with Jayne Atkinson, “24’s” Karen Hayes.

And stay tuned to “Criminal Minds” for a Nov. 14 sweeps shot by Jamie Kennedy in an episode about “a cannibalistic serial killer.”

Is Regis Philbin smarter than a fifth grader? How about Clay Aiken? The two stars kick off a sweeps month of celebrity guests on “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” (Thursday at 8 p.m. on Fox).

Coming up Nov. 8 is Tony Hawk, while the Nov. 15 show features Kellie Pickler and Billy Bush joining host Jeff Foxworthy.

Watch outtake video from the Aiken episode here.

First, “Nature.” Now “60 Minutes” is on the bee-disaster bandwagon, too.

This Sunday, both shows are spotlighting the crisis in which honeybee colonies around the world are suddenly and inexplicably disappearing, threatening the pollination of not only all those pretty flowers but also a huge percentage of the food that feeds us.

Pennsylvania beekeeper Dave Hackenberg sounds the alarm on both programs -- the “Nature” hour “Silence of the Bees” (Sunday at 8 p.m. on PBS) and a Steve Kroft segment on “60 Minutes” (Sunday at 7 p.m. or after football on CBS).

There’s online preview video of “60 Minutes” here and the more comprehensive “Nature” hour here. (“Nature” is also filled with the coolest macro-photography of bees doing their thing.)

The PBS link also leads to lots more info about the Colony Collapse Disorder that’s providing one of the most fascinating real-world mysteries in ages.

And you were worried about global warming . . .

[Above: Honeybee keepers examine abandoned beehives in PBS photo by Whitney Johnson/EBC.]

We don’t get to see foreign films much anymore since the demise of the old Bravo -- the old, OLD Bravo -- which back in its 1980s-90s glory days actually used to run commercial-free Kurasawa films and other gems from global masters. (Yearning sigh here. “Project Runway” will never equal “The Seven Samurai.”)

Now this week, Turner Classic Movies takes a stab at the art-film market with two nights of Louis Malle titles this Tuesday-Wednesday (Oct. 23-24), in honor of what would have been the French director’s 75th birthday. While Malle did make films in the United States (where he lived after marrying Candice Bergen in 1980, until his death in 1995), including “Pretty Baby” and “Atlantic City,” his international reputation rests on the great French-language features TCM now celebrates.

Tuesday lineup:
8 p.m. - Elevator to the Gallows (1957), Malle’s first non-documentary film, with Jeanne Moreau.
9:45 p.m. - Zazie Dans Le Metro (1960), with Philippe Noiret.
11:30 p.m. - The Fire Within (1963)
1:30 a.m. - Murmur of the Heart (1971)
3:30 a.m. - Black Moon (1975), with Joe Dallesandro.

Wednesday lineup:
8:00 p.m. - Au Revoir, Les Enfants (1987)
10:00 p.m. - Lacombe, Lucien (1974)
12:30 a.m. - Calcutta (1969), a documentary Malle also narrates.
2:30 a.m. - Place de la Republique (1974), a Paris slice-of-life.
4:15 a.m. - God's Country (1985), a Malle-narrated look at small-town Minnesota farm life and politics.

The films are further explored at TCM’s website.

AMC’s hot yet cool new drama series “Mad Men” may take place in the world of advertising -- the title plays off the macho suits of 1960 Madison Avenue –-- but its creators would rather their show run without commercials, thank you very much.

This irony, reported this week in Advertising Age, may yet come to pass in some form or other. No, AMC isn’t returning to its commercial-free glory days. (We pause here for film buffs’ nostalgic sigh.) However, next Thursday’s season finale (Oct. 18 at 10 p.m.) begins with a “tailored opening” crediting DirecTV as the hour’s sole advertiser. The climactic episode then airs with no breaks. Afterward, DirecTV sponsors an inside peek at the program’s wrap party.

The desire to shape a story uninterrupted by often blaring ads comes naturally to “Mad Men” creator Matthew Weiner. He cut his drama teeth writing for HBO’s “The Sopranos,” which could easily build its mercurial moods thanks to the premium channel’s ad-free status. And like “The Sopranos,” Weiner’s sophisticated “Mad Men” appeals to an upscale adult demographic. It’s one that youth-oriented broadcast networks may spurn but that niche cablers like AMC do well to cultivate. Ad Age reports nearly a third of the show’s audience of around 1 million boasts household income topping $100,000.

In other words, they can buy lots of stuff. We’ll see whether DirecTV’s one-time restraint leads to an enduring break-free future.

[AMC photo above: Ad exec Don Draper (Jon Hamm) and model Eleanor Ames (Megan Stier) get acquainted.]

Can there be such a thing on TV as too many movies? Trying to sort through today’s dozens of digital channels can make a cinephile too tired to watch.

So we’re here to offer some occasional help, pinpointing as many noteworthy festivals, don’t-miss events and conveniently concurrent airings as time and space permit.

Today and tomorrow:

Henry Fonda (Thursdays in October, starting at 8 p.m., Turner Classic Movies) – Jane and Peter’s dad, only a legendary actor himself, runs the gamut in this Star of the Month salute. Its 26 titles spanning six decades include tonight’s dramas (“12 Angry Men” and “Fail-Safe” kick things off), next week’s westerns (from the Hollywood heroism of “The Ox-Bow Incident” to his deliciously villainous turn in Sergio Leone’s masterpiece “Once Upon a Time in the West”), Oct. 18’s war movies, and Oct. 25’s comedies (1968’s original “Yours, Mine and Ours”) and more.

3:10 to Yuma (Thursday, Oct. 4 at 8 p.m., Encore Westerns) – The 1957 original with Van Heflin and Glenn Ford hits the airwaves as the Russell Crowe-Christian Bale remake hits movie theaters. Digital cable homes where Encore VOD is available (check onscreen menus) can watch the action anytime on-demand.

The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles (Thursday, Oct. 4 at 9 p.m., History International) – George Lucas’ 1990s ABC series of prequel history docu(ish)dramas begins a supplemented repeat run. The airings are followed by half-hour documentaries on subjects the globetrotting young Indy (hottie Sean Patrick Flanery) encounters, such as slavery or Sigmund Freud. For those without the digital channel History International, the original History Channel airs “Young Indy” Saturday at 7 a.m. (And all this Indy-ness comes out on DVD starting Oct. 23.)

Classic Horror Directors (Fridays in October, starting at 8 p.m., TCM) – Jacques Tourneur is the month’s first auteur, with screenings of 1958’s “Curse of the Demon,” 1942’s “Cat People,” and 1943’s “I Walked With a Zombie” and “The Leopard Man.”

WWDPD?

What would Dr. Phil do?

Or at least, what would he say?, in trying to assess not the trainwreck but the human tragedy that is Britney Spears at this moment. On Thursday’s show (“Dr. Phil” at 3 p.m. on WCBS/2, 5 p.m. on WLNY/55), Ph.D psychologist Phil McGraw offers his first “Dr. Phil Now” broadcast, a timely hour counseling how the too-hard-partying pop diva can regain some equilibrium as she’s being incessantly stalked by TMZ.

We can mock Dr. Phil all we want -- and it is fun, is it not? -- but in this case, he’s a behavioral specialist of some renown who’s treating this splashed-all-over tale not as some snarky gossip item but as the sad story it is -- a once-accomplished young woman coming apart at the seams, her reckless behavior steadily trashing her career, her health, her relationships, and especially her connection with her kids. She’s got two little ones, remember. And they aren’t just courtroom tug-of-war items.

While the TV/online showbiz sites make profitable hay from her misbehavior, Dr. Phil evaluates what Britney Spears must do to get her kids back -- using his Courtroom Sciences consulting expertise (remember how he met Oprah) and, in the process, engaging in long-distance analysis, we’re sure. But it’s bound to be more estimable than the likes of “Britney's Most Shocking Year Ever” from VH1 (which ironically airs at the same time Thursday as WCBS’ “Dr. Phil”) or the lurid “Celebrity Expose” Monday on MyNetwork TV. Joining Dr. Phil will be “Spears’ former bodyguard,” says the press release, “who says he spoke out to protect her children.” He’ll “tell Dr. Phil what led him to go public.”

OK by me. Anything to start taking this mom’s meltdown seriously, people.

Sorry for the late notice, but the digital cable/satellite channel Chiller just sent out its October highlights, among which we find this:

“Twin Peaks,” now airing on Chiller weeknights at 8 and 11, begins again with the twisted mystery’s two-hour pilot -- one of the most acclaimed pieces of television ever.

David Lynch’s 1990 minor masterpiece is followed tonight at 10 p.m. and 1 a.m. by “Tales From the Crypt” episodes with “Peaks” stars Kyle MacLachlan and Sherilyn Fenn.

Say it isn’t so! Cartman has Tourette’s Syndrome, which is supposed to explain all those epithets pouring forth from his mouth.

Say it is so! That means “South Park” is back Wednesday night at 10 with new episodes -- seven, count ’em, seven (7) this fall.

Comedy Central also says that, as of Friday, Oct. 5, new episodes will be available uncensored on iTunes, xBox, Amazon Unbox, walmart.com and bittorrent.com.

In case you just can’t get enough of Emmy’s best animated program.

["Le Petit Tourette" episode scene courtesy of Comedy Central.]

If you’ve had enough of the reality genre’s hot-tub-hopping, backstabbing and all-around bad behavior, two new shows arrive Tuesday night with a higher-power slant.

The singing competition “Sunday Best” (8 p.m. on BET) has gospel star Kirk Franklin hosting a search of “the country's storefront churches, parishes and mega-churches to find the best undiscovered singers in America.” They’ll be coached by pros and judged by spiritual songsters Mary Mary and BeBe Winans, toward prizes including a recording contract. [BET photo at right.]

The companion half-hour, “Exalted!” (Tuesday at 8:30 p.m. on BET) is a bio-portrait following the lives and careers of six ministers as they care for their congregations and their families.

Jerry Springer hosts the 13th season premiere of “MADtv” (Saturday 11 p.m. on Fox/5). From his own studio, the daytime ringmaster presents a best-of hour called “MADtv Ruined My Life: The Outrageous Sketches That Shocked a Nation,” recalling such buzz-makers as “The Wizard of Oz: The Lost Footage,” Michael McDonald’s “Secret Skill” and “Hot In Here,” a music video lampooning the church sex scandals.

Upcoming clip collections are hosted by “Survivor” emcee Jeff Probst (Sept. 22, with parodies of “The Sopranos” and “Grey’s Anatomy”) and web gossipmeister Perez Hilton (Sept. 29).

Remember that tomorrow brings the big reunion.

Kathie Lee Gifford visits "Live With Regis and Kelly" Friday morning at 9 a.m. (WABC/7) as part of the show's 20th anniversary celebration. A full hour of clips and reminiscences concludes a two-week salute to two syndicated decades.

The movies of Hollywood veteran Jane Wyman, who died Monday at 93, unreel all day Friday on Turner Classic Movies. Included is her Oscar-winning turn as a deaf woman in 1948’s “Johnny Belinda.” There’s also her strong work opposite Ray Milland in Billy Wilder’s 1945 alcoholism classic “The Lost Weekend.”

The full lineup:
6 a.m. -- The Doughgirls (1944)
7:45 a.m. -- The Lost Weekend (1945)
9:30 a.m. -- Cheyenne (1947)
11:15 a.m. -- Johnny Belinda (1948)
1 p.m. -- The Lady Takes a Sailor (1949)
2:45 p.m. -- A Kiss in the Dark (1949)
4:15 p.m. -- Here Comes the Groom (1951)
6:15 p.m. -- Let’s Do It Again (1953)

And where, oh where, is her classic tube stint as a California wine-country grande dame on “Falcon Crest”? Not on TV right now -- but you can watch online via AOL’s In2TV video-on-demand service, where 30 full episodes from CBS’ 1981-90 nighttime soap are currently streaming for free, culled from the series’ first three seasons. (There's a single episode from the seventh, too.)

Talk about a quick turnaround. Not 15 hours after Sunday’s “MTV Video Music Awards” performance debacle, VH1 was sending out press releases for tomorrow night’s half-hour special “All Access: Britney’s Most Shocking Year Ever” (Tuesday night at 8:30 p.m.).

“It's been a whirlwind journey of self expression, self destruction and patented Britney wackiness,” say the sympathetic souls at VH1. “And to think the year is not even over yet!”

Sadly true. For a more compassionate take on Ms. Spears’ misfortunes, watch this classic Craig Ferguson monologue, where CBS’ late-late night host empathetically identifies by making light (and dark) of his own vicissitudes. Hilarious -- yet heartrending.

Likely not what VH1 has in mind.

The hip-hopper’s online “urban operetta” sensation hits the tube tonight. “Trapped in the Closet: The Movie” debuts on IFC Friday at 9 p.m., all 22 chapters compiled from earlier internet/DVD releases.

There’ll be a live chat at IFC.com during this “feature film” airing.

It’s followed tonight at 10:30 by “Trapped Inside the Realm of R. Kelly,” a sitdown interview at Kelly’s Chicago recording studio.

Kelly plays multiple roles [IFC photo above] in what Entertainment Weekly calls “a monumental pop culture achievement.” Chart the characters and sample the episodes online.

WNET/13 pays tribute tonight to opera great Luciano Pavarotti, who died this morning, with a "Great Performances" rebroadcast Thursday at 8 p.m. (Repeating Sunday, Sept. 9 at noon.)

Donizetti's "L'Elisir D'Amore" ("The Elixir of Love") stars Pavarotti as Nemorino in a two-and-a-half-hour, two-act Metropolitan Opera performance of March 2, 1981. It includes Pavarotti's acclaimed rendition of "Una Furtiva Lagrima." Also starring are Judith Blegen, Sesto Bruscantini, Brent Ellis and Louise Wohlafka, conducted by Nicola Rescigno.

UPDATE: Digital cable/satellite's Bio channel has added a Pavarotti "Biography" episode Friday at 9 a.m. and 3 p.m.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Mike Wallace's 1993 (and 2002) sitdown profile of Pavarotti repeats on this Sunday's "60 Minutes" (7 p.m., or after U.S. Open final ends, on WCBS/2).

Fans can’t say NBC isn’t working hard to sell “Friday Night Lights” to new fans. The network is spreading episodes of the riveting portrait of contemporary family and community life all over the place -- on-air, online, on DVD, on iTunes.

This Saturday night, NBC airs three episodes 8-11 p.m. (in high-def, too). They’re the season’s compelling final hours -- “Mud Bowl,” “Best Laid Plans,” and “State” -- when Kyle Chandler’s coach finds his family life and career turned upside down, when paraplegic ex-QB Jason moves out on his own, when secrets are revealed and relationships tested. Prime stuff.

All 22 first-season episodes are still streaming online, too. (NBC also offers two-minute recaps condensing the gist of each outing.)

That season’s DVD set was just released at a bargain list price of $30 (widely discounted to the $20 range), and includes an intimate glimpse of life behind-the-scenes at the series’ Texas production location.

Downloadable episodes are still on iTunes, too (but not, apparently, for long; NBC has announced plans to pull its content off the iTunes platform).

NBC launches the show's second season Oct. 5.

So it’s two months early.

With director Rob Zombie’s “Halloween” remake opening today in theaters, VOOM’s Monsters HD channel is running the 1978 original that made Jamie Lee Curtis a star, in high-def, of course, tonight at 11 p.m. (The trailer is playing on the Monsters HD home page.)

It’s followed at 12:30 a.m. by Curtis’ 1981 sequel “Halloween II,” and then “Halloween 3: Season of the Witch” (2:05 a.m.), “Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers” (3:45 a.m.) and “Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers” (5:15 a.m.).

Rob Zombie has a regular TV gig, too, hosting TCM’s Underground showcase of weird, wild and warped flicks late every Friday night. It’s actually on hiatus for August’s Summer With the Stars event, but returns late Sept. 7 with the young Francis Coppola’s 1963 shocker “Dementia 13” (2 a.m.), followed by William Castle’s 1961 “Homicidal” (3:30 a.m.).

If they can dance, sing duets, ice-skate and play “The Mole,” they might as well try rapping.

“Celebrity Rap Superstar” debuts on MTV Thursday night (10 p.m.) as a (nearly) live competition series featuring such celebs as rocker Sebastian Bach, “Parkers” star Countess Vaughn, gossip blogger Perez Hilton, NFLer Jamal Anderson, “Hills” bad boy Jason Wahler, Playboy babe Kendra Wilkinson and others hoping they can hip-hop into viewers’ hearts.

Mentored by such pros as Tone Loc, Redman and MC Lyte, the celeb wannabes will try to wow judges including DMC, Da Brat and Big Boy, as well as a studio audience (taping in Los Angeles; sorry, New Yorkers).

Follow the action via MTV on-air, online and in “Celebrity Rap Superstar's” Remote Control blog.

Jerry Garcia not being available to host “Dead Art,” the VOOM Gallery HD series turned to Twisted Sister's Dee Snider.

Starting Wednesday night at 8:30, our homeboy hosts this 10-part high-def travelogue of “the world’s most visually compelling cemeteries.”

(Which just goes to prove there’s a show in everything.)

The first episode visits Brooklyn's Green-Wood Cemetery, the resting place of such New York notables as the Tiffany family. The fifth episode (Sept. 26) heads to the Bronx's Woodlawn Cemetery, where Duke Ellington and Miles Davis are interred.

Other aesthetically (and historically) interesting locations include L.A.’s Forest Lawn, Tarrytown’s Sleepy Hollow, Paris' Pere Lachaise and New Orleans’ St. Louis #1 and Metairie Cemetery.

If you’ve been thinking American troops in Iraq are forgotten men and women, here’s an entire day dedicated to honoring them.

All day Saturday, digital cable/satellite’s Military Channel (a Discovery network) will intersperse “tribute-vignettes” told by soldiers’ loved ones, culminating in the commercial-free 10 p.m. hour special “Tribute to the Troops.”

Earlier Saturday shows include the tour “Arlington National Cemetery With Sen. John McCain” (9 a.m.), five episodes of returning soldiers in “Operation Homecoming” (10 a.m.-3 p.m.), 10 episodes of first-person Iraq tales in “My War Diary” (3-8 p.m.), and two eye-opening hours of “War Wounds” (8-10 p.m.).

Military videos are still being solicited at the channel’s Tributes to the Troops page.

DirecTV is the place to see “High School Musical 2” in HD, with 5.1 digital audio. It’ll air on DirecTV’s Ch. 101 this Friday, Aug. 24, at 6 p.m., 9 p.m. and midnight.

The 101 (what DirecTV calls it) is the original programming channel being beefed up by the satellite service. It’ll host new episodes of the ex-NBC soap “Passions” starting Sept. 17, and also features live music events and championship gaming.

Those without DirecTV can watch “HSM2” in standard def on Disney Channel again this Thursday at 8 p.m. Last year’s original “High School Musical” repeats Sunday at 9 p.m.