By Mark La Monica
Maybe it's just me and my disturbing devotion to the sport of blackjack, but once I saw Vince Chase get dealt that second 8, I sat up on my couch and began screaming "Split em!"
Force of habit, perhaps.
I hoped the next card out would be an 8. "Split once, split twice," I said aloud, as if I were at the table myself with a stack of chips. Boom, there's the third 8.
Full disclosure time: Last week, I was flying home from a vacation where I gambled in two states, geographically speaking, that is. On the flight home, I tried to imagine the actual number of hands of blackjack I've played since my first trip to Las Vegas in 1999. According to my math, it's at least 250,000 hands.
I've been faced with the three 8s scenario before. It's exhilarating. And it always happen once you ramp up your bet. Just ask the Venetian. Back in 2001, I went to four 8s, doubled three of them and won all four hands. Of course, it was only a $25 bet (hey, that's big money for me), but that turned into $175 in the span of about 11 seconds.
Typically, you'll get one, maybe two chances to double. Vince gets one chance and the dealer gave it to him hard. A sweet looking 3 to go along with his 8-3 combo. That's a straight groin kick right there. Trust me, it hurts. That's why, when playing these dream hands, you have to ask the dealer to keep that double card down so you can't watch the actualy foot being delivered to your sensitive area.
When the dude sitting third base (Paul from "Cheers" by the way) split his kings against the dealer's six, I heard myself, Lawyer friend Steve, Carpet King Billy Drama, Party promoter friend Jann, Film friend Sirr and the rest of my Blackjack Maniacs -- all in different parts of the country on this night -- stand up and scream "Are you a freakin' idiot? Do not split those kings or I will beat the crapola out of you and your family." Give or take a word.
As Carpet King Billy Drama preaches, "You only split kings against a six when you're drunk as a skunk and you moon the dealer when you do it."
Truer words may never have been passed down from one generation to another.
It turns out the move helped Vince and Ari because the guy on third base pulled two 10s. The dealer flipped a 5, then drew a 3 and a 10 for a 24 and busted. Vince just won $300,000 on that one hand. God bless the sport of blackjack.
The blackjack table can ruin lives. Strangely enough, though, it breathes life into life at the same time.
Comments (5)
I loved this episode.. even though my boy Drama was acting a lil' to.. u know. That's hilarious how you yelled splite 'em. I was watching the show w/ my crew and every guy in the room at the same time yelled... SPLIT 'EM!!!!
Things that get me mad in life:
1) Terrorism
2) Crime
3) The fact that two shrimps like Seth Green and "E" could get a girl like Sloan...We all knew these guys in HS: The freaky twurps who all the girls thought were cute b/c they hadn't hit their growth spurt yet...God I hate those guys...And Damn you Entourage for making me have to choose b/t Connolly and Green. Who could anyone root for in that fight?
I didn't have a problem cheering for Seth Green to kick E's butt. It would have been nice to see somebody knock some sense into him. And I wait every episode for something bad to happen to Turtle cuz he is an obnoxious waste of space....
Can't believe the E-haters. E is the necessary voice of maturity in that group. That said, he was about three "whuttup's" late on whupping Seth's ass.
That episode was great. E gets my vote. Seth kept riding his jock. He needed to get biatch slapped!...Split em is right.
BTW, the characters on Entourage are perfect. I feel like those guys are the best friends I grew up with. Turtle, E, Drama & Vince, there is no better cast! There is no better ensemble for that type of comedy.
Too bad I have to wait till next year to get the shows on DVD. I need to get a DVR.