Entourage: Let's Blog It Out

Back in the days when I was young, care-free, entrepeneuring and not intelligent, I developed an ingenious summer business concept. It was a dog rental company in Manhattan, the name of which we won't repeat here, invoking the same blog bylaws that govern Best Printable Line.

The concept was simple: Rent dogs to people on a daily basis. Even train a few to be extra sweet and playful so as to charge a higher rate. Clients would then walk their dogs in Central Park or at various dog runs across the city and use them to meet people, strike up conversations and perhaps develop relationships. If the relationships turned into serious ones, then by all means, they could keep the dog -- for a nominal fee.

It would all be word-of-mouth business, much like Will Smith in "Hitch." Once the New York tabloids and PETA caught wind, it's likely bad press and stressful hassles would follow.

Forgetting the damage to the dogs' psyche for the moment, it was a genius plan, and not gender-specific. The common theory existing in the minds of us primitive males is that every woman loves a dog (canines, that is). But it works both ways. Men dig dogs, too. It's just one of those things that's known and accepted but unspoken between men and women. So it seemed like a natural moneymaking opportunity that could also spread joy to many people.

Clearly, Drama and Turtle subscribed to this theory went they went to Laurel Canyon dog park. They went there not as dog lovers but as dogs looking for lovers. Can't really fault them, especially because it worked. Well, almost.

As I sat there drawing up a legal complaint for copyright infringement for this idea which I never had patented, published or otherwise made known to friends not at the bar that night, the show progressed. It took a turn I had never considered in my business plan. I immediately tore up the legal complaint and thanked the good people of Entourage for saving me the regret of not launching this business way back when.

Turtle's new lady friend launched a slab of beef toward Arnold and his new Rottweiler lady friend. Arnold went crazy and attacked the beef and the dog. The attack sent Turtle, Drama, their ladies and their dogs to the vet. It ruined their first attempt at nookie time.

Who would be medically liable for such expenses? Criminally liable? These legal concerns would have eaten my profits faster than Arnold ate the beef.

However, props to Drama and Turtle for continuing the quest all the way through the vet's office, ordering food to the waiting room and then going home with the ladies. They would have been my best customers.