Entourage: Let's Blog It Out

The release date is set for Aug. 14. Pre-order the CD now at Amazon. Throw some Ds on it.

By Mark La Monica

It may very have been the most perfectly acted scene in the history of "Entourage." Not the funniest, just so we're clear, but the most perfectly acted.

E runs into Sloan at the pool at the W Hotel in Westwood while he's flirting with Heather the hot British chick.

He approached Sloan to say hello. It was awkward. Always is. The dialogue went like this:

E: "Sloan, this is Juliette."

Heather: "Heather."

E: "Wow. Really."

It continued from there, but you get the point. It always happens that way. You never get anything right the first time you run into an ex, except of course for the ex's name.

Why?

Click the thumbnail below for the larger image, then save it to your desktop. Better yet, save it to someone else's desktop. (P.S. Boss friend Lil Jon is gonna be mad.)

By Mark La Monica

It had been a crazy seven-day, 489-hour week of work for me, one of those weeks where you know on Tuesday that the only time you'll have to relax is on Sunday night at 10 p.m.

Praying for a memorable 30-minute break from reality (OK, 25-27 minutes) the past six days, the good people of "Entourage" answered those prayers.

They delivered with one of those random plotline episodes (except for Ari Gold and the private school) that maximizes the escapism I was seeking.

So, here we go with random thoughts from this episode, the title of which does not agree with Best Printable Line guidelines.

By Mark La Monica

With great dialogue being spewn every other line in this episode, the Sunday night Best Printable Line judges had to sift through and find words that were actually printable.

After a brief consult with the BPL magistrate, we decided that Drama produced the line that was both the best and printable.

As the guys debate E's ability to have non-emotional sex, Drama finally put his foot down and staked his claim to this week's BPL, his first of Season 4.

"All people need to get laid, except that whackjob who only needs a good book, a cup of tea and a nice long hug."

Well done, Drama.

By Mark La Monica

Will the person or persons who sat in on the creation of this episode and said, "Let's put Turtle in a giant pink bunny outfit" please show yourself immediately?

You are in need of being interviewed. And we are in need of paying postage to send you your Writer Props for this week.

Saigon, everyone's favorite rapper from "Entourage," will be part of the Black August Hip-Hop Project 10th Anniversary party at the Nokia Theatre in Times Square on August 26.

Worth looking into tickets, just to say you did.

Mos Def, Talib Kweli and Dead Prez will also be there.

That is worth purchasing tickets, which are $30 and go on sale July 26 through Ticketmaster, 631-888-9000.

No word on whether Drama will be dangled from the top floor of the Nokia.

By Mark La Monica

He makes things happen. Some bad, some good, all hilarious.

He says a lot of things. Some bad, some good, all hilarious.

He shows emotion. Some bad, some good, all hilarious.

He's Ari Gold, our Sunday night savior.

By Mark La Monica

The next time you broker a deal at work or negotiate a truce with your wife or mediate a dispute between friends, you will use this line.

That is the essence of Best Printable Line. And for the third time in four weeks, Ari Gold embodies the true spirit of the BPL.

After getting Heath Ledger off the "Lost in the Clouds" project and replacing him with Vincent Chase and the "Medellin Dream Team," he tells E to go meet with Dana Gordon.

E balks at working with Walsh again. Ari is having none of that lip from E when he ends the conversation with, "I parted the Red Sea for you, E. Don't piss on the sand."

Footnote Mr. Gold accordingly upon your frequent usage of that line this week. And that dude at cafepress who keeps creating new shirts based off "Entourage" each week, feel free to print my URL on the left sleeve of that shirt.

Season 4 Best Printable Line Standings
Ari Gold 3
Turtle 2
Vince 1
E 0
Drama 0
Billy Walsh 0

By Mark La Monica

Ranking high among Ari Gold's many brilliant acts of lunacy, anger and tyranny is his firing of the mailroom kid in Season 2.

Ranking high among the Entourage creators' many brilliant acts of lunacy, anger and tyranny is the mailroom kid attempting to fill in for Lloyd as Ari Gold's assistant in Season 4.

Just in case you need a refresher on the Joshie Award nominated scene, click this link to watch the YouTube video.

By Mark La Monica

I had been hypothesizing this week that Harvey somehow copied the "Medellin" trailer during his screening with E and leaked it on YouTube to get back at the boys for shafting him yet again.

The Entourage writers had a better idea. That's why they write the show and I write about the show.

Benicio Del Toro held up fictional production of "Medellin."

Turns out, playing Pablo Escobar wasn't good enough for him. Now, we know why, thanks to the AP. Click the jump to find out.

By Mark La Monica

When "Medellin" first found its way into the "Entourage" plotline way back in Season 2, they called it the new "Scarface."

The comparison has continued ever since. And what kind of Entourage blogger would I be if I didn't do a tale of tape between the two movies? Here goes.

Lead character
Scarface: Tony Montana
Medellin: Pablo Escobar

Edge: Scarface
Why: Tony Montana is fictional.

Actor
Scarface: Al Pacino
Medellin: Vincent Chase

Edge: Scarface
Why: Guy, you gotta even ask why?

Costume & makeup
Scarface: Pacino's scars on face, dark tan
Medellin: Chase's wig, mustache and fat suit

Edge: Medellin
Why: Vince looks like Horatio Sanz trying out for a remake of The Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" video.

Accent
Scarface: Pacino's over-the-top Cuban
Medellin: Chase's subdued California Latin

Edge: Scarface
Why: It's so bad, it's good.

Hot actress who has a role in the film because the producers wanted a hot chick in the film
Scarface: Michelle Pfeiffer
Medellin: Sofia Vergara

Edge: Push
Why: Pfeiffer is crazy gorgeous. Vergara very sexy with a killer bod.
Director

Scarface: Brian DePalma
Medellin: Billy Walsh

Edge: Medellin
Why: "Suits Suck"

Crazy screenplay writer/contributor
Scarface: Oliver Stone
Medellin: Billy Walsh

Edge: Push
Why: Oliver Stone was a lunatic when he wrote this script. Walsh is a lunatic.

Plot
Scarface: Drugs, murder
Medellin: Drugs, murder

Edge: Push
Why: Drugs, murder. Drugs, murder.

Memorable Quote
Scarface: “Say hello to my little friend”
Medellin: "Ari, we want 'Medellin.'"

Edge: Scarface
Why: Scarface is imminently quotable every day, nearly as much as Chris Rock comedy specials.

Absurd cameo
Scarface: Richard Belzer
Medellin: Johnny Drama

Edge: Medellin
Why: Johnny. Drama.

Issues surrounding production
Scarface: Protests, death threats
Medellin: Money, cast & crew

Edge: Scarface
Why: What the Scarface people had to go through to make this movie was more insane than giving Walsh final cut.

Post-mass murder cinematic carnage scene
Scarface: Pacino falling into the pool
Medellin: Chase walking through reception

Edge: Scarface
Why: It's the epic climax to the movie.

Crossover appeal
Scarface: Every rapper quotes Scarface at least once per song.
Medellin: This movie isn’t even real and look at the buzz it’s caused.

Edge: Medellin
Why: Every rapper quotes Scarface at least once per song.

Soundtrack
Scarface: Authentic '80s music
Medellin: Authentic Colombian music

Edge: Scarface
Why: Push it to the limit. Welcome to the limit.

Tags
entourage | medellin | vincent chase | al pacino | scarface

By Mark La Monica

OK, now this is impressive.

Even more impressive than when the HBO folks took out a two-page ad in Entertainment Weekly congratulating "Aquaman" for breaking the opening weekend box-office record set by "Spider-Man."

The plotline for this week's episode focused on the trailer for "Medellin" being leaked on YouTube. Then, HBO showed the trailer at the end of the episode.

And yes, I checked the URL they showed in the trailer.

http://www.medellinthefilm.com

It's a pretty good Web site. But here's the really impressive part. They built a Web site for a fictional movie and have every fan of the show wondering "Could this be real?"

Well played, HBO.

As if using the hot-spot locations in Southern California as an unofficial character didn't already connect people to the show, real movie trailers for a fake movie on a scripted comedy show should do the trick.

And we'll all be in the office and on email and message boards saying "Do you think they'd really make the movie?" and "You know, they did that first episode this season on the set of 'Medellin' so maybe they actually filmed the movie and are trying to capitalize on the show's success" and "Hey, they've got a clothing deal with AG and a huge word-of-mouth following, so maybe . . . just maybe . . . "

In reality, we know it won't happen. But, just like the show says, maybe you can have it all. Or at least dream about it. That's what makes Sunday nights awesome and Monday mornings painfully awesome.

Tags
entourage | medellin | vincent chase

By Mark La Monica

Cursed be the one who first penned the rules governing the Best Printable Line here at Entourage, the blog!

Ah yes, that would be me.

And it serves me right to stew in my own madness after this episode. Billy Walsh and Ari would have garnered the second-ever BPL split vote. But, alas, in this world, we have walls. And those walls are protected by BPLs without curses.

This week filter let the bad stuff slip through and kept Turtle in its colander for his work upon entering the medical marijuana facility with Drama.

"Wow, something about getting my weed legally just never seemed right," Turtle said. "But this seems OK."

This puts Turtle in a first-place tie with Ari for the Season 4 Big Knish Award with seven episodes remaining.

Season 4 Best Printable Line Standings
Ari Gold 2
Turtle 2
Vince 1
E 0
Drama 0
Billy Walsh 0

By Mark La Monica

Gangsta-rapper turned G-funk rapper Snoop Dogg cruising through Barney's and trying to determine the proper way to pronounce "Cannes." ("Cons" vs. "Cans")

Two words: Wrizzleter. Prizzleops.

Now, if only asksnoop.com still existed! For those of you in the know, pour a little out with me for our shizzolating homies. For those of you not in the know, google "ask snoop" and then get mad.

By Mark La Monica

The fans have let their voice be heard, and they chose the voice of Vincent Chase for the Week 4 Best Printable Line.

It was a squeaker, with E leading most of the way. But, clearly, Vince texted everyone in his phone in the final hours. And the movie star always beats out the manager, unless of course, Sloan is involved.

Let's set the scene.

E walks into a bar called Winston's with Harvey and meets the guys. He has a sheepish look because he's afraid of screwing over Harvey again, this time by not selling him "Medellin."

Vince blurts out, "He looks like a POW."

The perfect line for E's expression.

See the final poll results

Season 4 Best Printable Line Standings
Ari Gold 2
Vince 1
Turtle 1
E 0
Drama 0
Billy Walsh 0

By Mark La Monica

Time to pony up with the truth, people. Which number was greater on Sunday night: the number of times you watched Turtle's impersonation of Harvey or the number of ribs you broke from laughing so hard the first time you saw it?

We'll wait . . .

. . .

. . . Now, if you claim you did neither of the two, you're lying through your plaque-filled teeth and we'd all prefer if you left here and read something else. I hear there's a script for the remake of "Leonard, Part 6" floating around. Is that something you might be interested in?

Turtle's impersonation of overbearing Hollywood heavyweight/big galoot Harvey was dead-on non-strikes accurate. And hilarious. And comic genius. And the symbol of an episode that can be considered a throwback to the old days of "Entourage."

By Mark La Monica

This episode may go down as the most fruitful of repeatable lines in this blog, thus making for a more stressful Sunday than usual.

Normally, the judges reserve the 10-o'clock hour for the weekly premiere of a new episode of "Entourage" followed by a repeat viewing. By then, the judges have their Best Printable Line selected and just let the episode run on loop for another hour or two, just because they can.

But this episode was way too stellar with BPL nominees. They came at us like a Roy Jones Jr. (in his prime) barrage of punches. One right after another. Boom, boom, boom! It felt like DMX in his heyday releasing full-length albums every six months or so.

Maybe it's the sweltering summer Sunday, or maybe I'm just fried for life. But I couldn't pick the BPL this week. Too many options. So, it's up to you, dear readers. The nominees are listed below, and you've got until noon Tuesday to cast your vote. Then, at 3 p.m., we'll announce the Week 4 BPL winner. (Editor's Note: I bumped the times back a bit on Monday evening when I realized I've got a video shoot Tuesday morning out east. Sorry, but hey, that's just more voting for you.)

The nominees (in no particular order):

1) Vince: "He looks like a POW."
Said when a sheepish E walked into the bar with Harvey the producer/galoot to meet the guys.

2) Ari: "Indians and improv. No greater match."
Said to M. Night Shyamalan about his new script.

3) E: "Are you expecting a fire or you just hoping to slide up and down their pole?"
Said to Drama after he says he introduced himself to the Beverly Hills Fire Department.

4) Drama: "That Barbie is a Ken."
Said to the Beverly Hills mayor after Drama told him his new lady friend was really a dude.

By Mark La Monica

As Ari Gold approached the door late at night in Oxnard, Calif., I was expecting a cameo bomb to be dropped. Something like Erik Estrada, or Luke Duke or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

Then as the plotline developed and the housewife's husband pulled into the driveway, I was expected the driver of that car to be someone such as Judd Nelson or, again, a reasonable facsimile thereof.

No such luck.

Just two random people with no star power. Great call. Writer props!

Entourage

By Mark La Monica

It's about time TMZ.com, a Web site that "covers" celebrity life in Hollywood, made its way into "Entourage," a cable sitcom based on celebrity in Hollywood.

And the fact that Drama wasn't the butt of the joke made it even better. That would have been too easy. Writer Props!

Did anyone catch Turtle's line at the end of show when they paused the video? Brilliance. Not repeatable here. Actually, it might be repeatable here, but I think the bosses are back from vacation this week, so why push it to the limit?

Entourage

By Mark La Monica

Some things in life simply are not even close to being fair. Topping this week's list: the image below.

If you are man enough to eventually open the magazine, you'll find an eight-page spread of Ms. Biel. Reportedly, two of those pages contain words worth reading.

After you're done punching yourself in the face four times per picture, man up a bit more and turn to page 151 and read Johnny Drama's thoughts on golf.

And now that we've all got Jessica Biel on the brain, don't you think she'd be a great cameo on the show?

entourage | jessica biel | johnny drama

By Mark La Monica

Where would we be with Blog reader Anthony? I'll tell you where. Living in a world that didn't have Rachel as an option on a "Let's name Mrs. Ari" poll!

Props to you, Anthony. The people at Drexel should eliminate your student loan debt strictly on principle. Want me to make a call?

"Rachel" nudged out "Melissa" and "Allison" to win the "Let's name Mrs. Ari" title. See
the Mrs. Ari poll results for the complete breakdown.

Now on to an important issue in this little feature of ours.

A pair of Blog reader Brians caused quite a stir in the "Let's blog it out" wing of our "Entourage, the blog" office when they raised the issue that Mrs. Ari already has a first name. They said Terrance addressed her as Dinah in "The Bat Mitzvah" episode from Season 2.

We went to the videotape and studied that episode quite a bit (roughly 243 viewings of the scene in question). The judges ruled that Terrance wasn't audible enough to truly distinguish what he said. He might have said Dinah. He might have said Dena. He might have said Donna. He might have said "Dahling." Who knows? Inconclusive evidence. Ed Hochuli wouldn't overturn this, so neither will we.

As for the Wikipedia listing, well, that's just not as credible as people think. Anyone in the world can edit Wikipedia, which means you could go on there right now and say Mrs. Ari's first name is Rachel, and show a link to the fan voting from this blog. Plus, Wikipedia killed Sinbad! (And, Wikipedia no longer lists Mrs. Ari as Dinah.)

So, in the judges' eyes, she's still Mrs. Ari. Or, as the fans have spoken, Mrs. Rachel Gold. In time, we may learn that Dinah was correct. Should that occur, we'll give the two Blog reader Brians their just due.

Thanks to all those who participated. And thanks to the two Blog reader Brians for keeping me on my toes.

Next week, we'll give Turtle a first name.

By Mark La Monica

Drama reminded us men of the uber-importance of having a good wingman. A broham who will do whatever it takes to get the job done . . . for the other guy.

It's the mark of a true friend.

Turtle reminded us men that at some point in life, you have to be on Ready 5 when it comes to hooking up a close friend with a hookup. Most wingman operations are planned in advance, which adds to the dedication and importance of the craft.

Of course, Turtle the wingman wound up winning out while Drama the lead pilot had a grenade jump on him. Despite what you may read in Penthouse forum, that never happens in real life. The wingman never wins like that (except when Iceman can't get the shot and Maverick has to step in). Nor should he. That's not his job. It's a flagrant violation of broham-dom. That's like telling your friend that pink shirt he's wearing is cool and the girl with the webbed feet and no ear lobes he's dating is smoking hot.

There's an art to being a good wingman. We here at "Entourage, the blog" will attempt to put forth a few good rules to help you perfect your skills at helping your friend get the girl.

By Mark La Monica

His scenes were limited this week, but they were powerful. Ari Gold swiped the Best Printable Line for this week from E, who had swiped it from Turtle.

Turtle's line of "E thought Rocky IV sucked when it came out. I mean, what does he know?" was the early front runner. E trumped him a bit later with "The French have the biggest mouths in the world."

But Ari Gold stuck his claws into this week's BPL trophy -- his second straight week after a 13-episode losing streak. E stormed into his office and the two went at it over the "Medellin" movie and trailer. So, Ari goes straight to the top and calls Vince to try and get him to control E.

"Do you know that your man broke out of the Oompah Loompah factory and is up to no good?"

Wow.

Season 4 Best Printable Line Standings
Ari Gold 2
Turtle 1
Drama 0
E 0
Vince 0
Billy Walsh 0

Coming This Week
Tuesday: Being a good wingman
Wednesday: Mrs. ??? Gold

By Mark La Monica

This week, Writer Props is not so much about subtlety but rather creativity.

Turtle scored a cougar. And he didn't need Vince or money to do it. An impressive plot twist for the hard-luck tortoise.