By Mark La Monica
Some things in life simply are not even close to being fair. Topping this week's list: the image below.

If you are man enough to eventually open the magazine, you'll find an eight-page spread of Ms. Biel. Reportedly, two of those pages contain words worth reading.
After you're done punching yourself in the face four times per picture, man up a bit more and turn to page 151 and read Johnny Drama's thoughts on golf.
And now that we've all got Jessica Biel on the brain, don't you think she'd be a great cameo on the show?