Entourage: Let's Blog It Out

By Mark La Monica

And it's Jessica Biel in the . . . with the . . .

By Mark La Monica

For a television comedy to film in Cannes during the actual film festival is pretty impressive. As was that epic scene of the guys walking the red carpet and up the stairs for the screening. Great filming right there.

And prior to that walk up the carpet, we had delivery of this week's Best Printable Line. In a show that was as much about Drama as it was about Cannes and "Medellin," it's fitting that Drama would deliver the BPL.

Just before reconnecting with his French paramour outside the theater, he's lamenting about losing her. E suggests that it's his celebrity status that landed him a hot and horny Jacqueline.

"Nobody's ever wanted to sleep with me just because I'm a celebrity," Drama said in a tone that was part touching and part pure Drama. "It makes me feels wanted and validated all at the same time."

Well done, Drama.

Ari Gold wrapped up the Big Knish Award for Season 4 last week. The e-ceremony will be held Tuesday afternoon at 2 p.m. Don't miss it!

By Mark La Monica

With 22.4 percent of the vote, Jessica Biel won via plurality. (See the full results)

The people have spoken . . . and they've said they want to see a smokin' hot chick on Entourage next season.

Now for the real fun. We've created a few storylines incorporating Biel into the show. It's up to you to pick your favorite and you've got one week to do it. The deadline is noon on Sept. 6.

A quick refresher: I know the "Entourage" creators have read this blog in the past. I know they'll be sitting down in September to write Season 5. I don't know if they'll read this blog then. But who knows? Maybe we'll shape a future episode. Maybe we won't. Either way, at least we can have some fun now as the show goes into hiatus for the next nine months.

Here are the scenarios. Read, then vote.

By Mark La Monica

The creative forces behind "Entourage" should begin scripting Season 5 some time in September.

Now, I know for a fact that they have read this blog. However, I can't confirm that they are regular readers. Either way, with the vast array of networks in this world and the ease with which it takes to cut and paste a URL and send an email, there's little reason to think what I'm about to offer to the public doesn't have a chance at reach Doug Ellin, Rob Weiss and the rest of the crew.

With "Entourage" comes guest stars. With Season 5 comes guest stars we haven't seen yet on the show. Here's your chance to vote for the guest star you'd most like to see.

I've come up with 13 choices below. Click on the link underneath the list to cast your vote. You've got until noon on Aug. 30 to vote. We'll announce the winner at 12:30 p.m. and then generate some potential script scenarios for that person. Then, we'll give you another week to vote. Who knows? Maybe we'll see it come to life next season. As always, use the comments link for write-in candidates.

• Alec Baldwin
• Jessica Biel
• Nick Cannon
• Lauren Conrad
• Leonardo DiCaprio
• Hilary Duff
• Mark Hamill
• Johnny Knoxville
• Matt Leinart
• Lindsay Lohan
• Jennifer Lopez
• Hayden Panettiere
• Will Smith

By Mark La Monica

The dude or dudette who invented the nasty cliche about jealousy rearing its ugly head clearly never met Perrey Reeves or saw her as Mrs. Ari/Kendall Scott parading around in her unmentionables.

Seriously, can you blame Ari for not wanting another man getting within 20 feet of her?

But I digress.

By Mark La Monica

The next time you broker a deal at work or negotiate a truce with your wife or mediate a dispute between friends, you will use this line.

That is the essence of Best Printable Line. And for the third time in four weeks, Ari Gold embodies the true spirit of the BPL.

After getting Heath Ledger off the "Lost in the Clouds" project and replacing him with Vincent Chase and the "Medellin Dream Team," he tells E to go meet with Dana Gordon.

E balks at working with Walsh again. Ari is having none of that lip from E when he ends the conversation with, "I parted the Red Sea for you, E. Don't piss on the sand."

Footnote Mr. Gold accordingly upon your frequent usage of that line this week. And that dude at cafepress who keeps creating new shirts based off "Entourage" each week, feel free to print my URL on the left sleeve of that shirt.

Season 4 Best Printable Line Standings
Ari Gold 3
Turtle 2
Vince 1
E 0
Drama 0
Billy Walsh 0

By Mark La Monica

When "Medellin" first found its way into the "Entourage" plotline way back in Season 2, they called it the new "Scarface."

The comparison has continued ever since. And what kind of Entourage blogger would I be if I didn't do a tale of tape between the two movies? Here goes.

Lead character
Scarface: Tony Montana
Medellin: Pablo Escobar

Edge: Scarface
Why: Tony Montana is fictional.

Actor
Scarface: Al Pacino
Medellin: Vincent Chase

Edge: Scarface
Why: Guy, you gotta even ask why?

Costume & makeup
Scarface: Pacino's scars on face, dark tan
Medellin: Chase's wig, mustache and fat suit

Edge: Medellin
Why: Vince looks like Horatio Sanz trying out for a remake of The Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" video.

Accent
Scarface: Pacino's over-the-top Cuban
Medellin: Chase's subdued California Latin

Edge: Scarface
Why: It's so bad, it's good.

Hot actress who has a role in the film because the producers wanted a hot chick in the film
Scarface: Michelle Pfeiffer
Medellin: Sofia Vergara

Edge: Push
Why: Pfeiffer is crazy gorgeous. Vergara very sexy with a killer bod.
Director

Scarface: Brian DePalma
Medellin: Billy Walsh

Edge: Medellin
Why: "Suits Suck"

Crazy screenplay writer/contributor
Scarface: Oliver Stone
Medellin: Billy Walsh

Edge: Push
Why: Oliver Stone was a lunatic when he wrote this script. Walsh is a lunatic.

Plot
Scarface: Drugs, murder
Medellin: Drugs, murder

Edge: Push
Why: Drugs, murder. Drugs, murder.

Memorable Quote
Scarface: “Say hello to my little friend”
Medellin: "Ari, we want 'Medellin.'"

Edge: Scarface
Why: Scarface is imminently quotable every day, nearly as much as Chris Rock comedy specials.

Absurd cameo
Scarface: Richard Belzer
Medellin: Johnny Drama

Edge: Medellin
Why: Johnny. Drama.

Issues surrounding production
Scarface: Protests, death threats
Medellin: Money, cast & crew

Edge: Scarface
Why: What the Scarface people had to go through to make this movie was more insane than giving Walsh final cut.

Post-mass murder cinematic carnage scene
Scarface: Pacino falling into the pool
Medellin: Chase walking through reception

Edge: Scarface
Why: It's the epic climax to the movie.

Crossover appeal
Scarface: Every rapper quotes Scarface at least once per song.
Medellin: This movie isn’t even real and look at the buzz it’s caused.

Edge: Medellin
Why: Every rapper quotes Scarface at least once per song.

Soundtrack
Scarface: Authentic '80s music
Medellin: Authentic Colombian music

Edge: Scarface
Why: Push it to the limit. Welcome to the limit.

Tags
entourage | medellin | vincent chase | al pacino | scarface

By Mark La Monica

Where would we be with Blog reader Anthony? I'll tell you where. Living in a world that didn't have Rachel as an option on a "Let's name Mrs. Ari" poll!

Props to you, Anthony. The people at Drexel should eliminate your student loan debt strictly on principle. Want me to make a call?

"Rachel" nudged out "Melissa" and "Allison" to win the "Let's name Mrs. Ari" title. See
the Mrs. Ari poll results for the complete breakdown.

Now on to an important issue in this little feature of ours.

A pair of Blog reader Brians caused quite a stir in the "Let's blog it out" wing of our "Entourage, the blog" office when they raised the issue that Mrs. Ari already has a first name. They said Terrance addressed her as Dinah in "The Bat Mitzvah" episode from Season 2.

We went to the videotape and studied that episode quite a bit (roughly 243 viewings of the scene in question). The judges ruled that Terrance wasn't audible enough to truly distinguish what he said. He might have said Dinah. He might have said Dena. He might have said Donna. He might have said "Dahling." Who knows? Inconclusive evidence. Ed Hochuli wouldn't overturn this, so neither will we.

As for the Wikipedia listing, well, that's just not as credible as people think. Anyone in the world can edit Wikipedia, which means you could go on there right now and say Mrs. Ari's first name is Rachel, and show a link to the fan voting from this blog. Plus, Wikipedia killed Sinbad! (And, Wikipedia no longer lists Mrs. Ari as Dinah.)

So, in the judges' eyes, she's still Mrs. Ari. Or, as the fans have spoken, Mrs. Rachel Gold. In time, we may learn that Dinah was correct. Should that occur, we'll give the two Blog reader Brians their just due.

Thanks to all those who participated. And thanks to the two Blog reader Brians for keeping me on my toes.

Next week, we'll give Turtle a first name.

By Mark La Monica

In real life, Mrs. Ari is known as Perrey Reeves. In "Entourage" life, Mrs. Ari is known only as Mrs. Ari.

When he's not calling her "the wife," even Ari Gold calls her Mrs. Ari.

But what is her first name on the show? We have no clue. Same thing with Turtle.

This week, we ask our loyal and brand new "Entourage, the blog" readers to vote on a first name for Mrs. Ari. In a few weeks, we'll do the same with Turtle.

In the meantime, we'll send the final results to Doug Ellin's people. No guarantees he or they will read it, but we'll send the email anyway. You never know in this crazy world what can happen.

To me, Mrs. Ari strikes me as a Melissa. Maybe a Janet. Perhaps even a Julie or an Allison. Emily is an option, too. How about Barbara? Toni? Melinda? Jenn? Stephanie? Jamie? Roni?

So many options. Here's your chance to vote for Mrs. Ari's first name. You've got until midnight Tuesday July 3 to vote. We'll post the results at noon on July 4, just before we head out to the beach and barbecues.

If you think there's a better name, use the comments link for write-in candidates.

July 3 Note: Poll is now closed. Winner will be announced at noon July 4.

By Mark La Monica

The good folks at HBO let us back on the red carpet for the New York edition of Entourage's Season 4 premiere. Here's the video, produced by myself and Intrepid videographer friend Bobby.

P.S. We'll post a few full-length video interviews with the fellas next Wednesday.

By Mark La Monica

This one is just pure brilliance. Props to Web friend Cocoa, who earned instant Friend of the blog status upon receipt of this link.

I won't even waste yours or my time explaining what this is. Just click this freakin' link and enjoy.

P.S. That link pops off into a new window so you can do what it tells you to do and then easily return here to post your results.

P.P.S. I'm E, who are you?

By Mark La Monica

One month to go til new Entourage episodes enter our world!

In order to kick off our monthlong celebration/hype-up for Season 3.5, we decided to begin by testing your brains with a trivia quiz from the first three seasons. Take the 20-question quiz and see if you're an A-lister or the next episode of "Boulevard of Broken Dreams."

By Mark La Monica

As we've learned in life -- and Episode 10 of Season Three -- couples keep lists of celebrities they are allowed to sleep with while in a monogamous relationship and it's not considered cheating.

Last week, we here at "Entourage, the blog" asked readers to submit their version of "The List."

The response was overwhelming. Thanks to all who participated, even the ones who didn't take it seriously. At least you made the bean counters laugh, and that counts for something.

A quick analysis of the data shows readers have a wide range of tastes. The 165 votes cast for females included 95 different women. Of the 30 votes cast for males, 18 different men were represented. (And when you eliminate the 10 joke votes for men, there were still 16 different people represented on the ballots.)

The most lusted-after woman among readers is Scarlett Johansson. There are two obvious reasons for this: 1) "Entourage" fans support those who do cameos on the show; 2) She's insanely beautiful.

The most desirable male* is no surprise either: George Clooney. Two reasons for Clooney's selection: 1) He's Danny Ocean; 2) He's a handsome man.

(* "Mark Lamonica" received five votes, all of which were submitted by the same person at the same time. The judges were greatly amused at that reader's wit. They also decided that since the name was not spelled accurately as "Mark La Monica", they must have been referring to "Mark Lamonica," and that my dear readers, would be pro wrestler Bubba Ray Dudley. "Charlie Zimmerman" also received five votes at once, but we don't know who that is. Is it this guy? Or maybe this guy?)

Click on the link below for the entire list as voted on by our readers.

By Mark La Monica

I first was introduced to "The List" several years ago in the pool at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. My first reaction was "This is stupid." Clearly, that was the rum talking because this is a great game to play with significant others.

Great . . . until the significant other actually accomplishes the mission and then tells you about it. Now, you may be thinking "Why the hell would I tell the person I'm with about this?" Well, what's the point of making a list of celebrities it's OK to sleep with when you're in a serious relationship if you can't talk about it when it happens?

It's all fun and games until someone loses his or her Celebrity List cherry. Then it's just plain painful. Imagine being the dude who comes home and hears "Honey, I just slept with Vincent Chase right here in the same bed you and I sleep in every night, but it's cool because he was on my list" from the woman he has chosen to spend the rest of his life with. Gee, that's about as precious and heartwarming as slamming your package in the glove compartment.

Watching the scene when the girl tells Vince she's getting married is equal parts id-satisfying fantastic and soul-damaging brutal. "The List" is so far-fetched in reality that when you see or hear someone accomplish it, you have to admire it. But the word "married" and its various grammatical cousins should still be something of nourishment for our moral fabric. If you watch closely, Vince's expression includes a bit of disappointment and shock when hearing the news of the girl's pending nuptials.

That being said, let's have a little fun. We'll assume Turtle and Drama could hold a steady girlfriend in order to activate "The List" and hypothesize for the entire crew. (Top five listed alphabetically).

Vince*
Halle Berry
Jennie Finch
Angelina Jolie
Maria Sharapova
Charlize Theron
* It's about as fair as a baseball hit behind the plate for this guy to have a list, but fun is fun. And I'm all for equal rights.

Drama
Diane Lane
Julia Roberts
Mia Sara
Brooke Shields
Sloan (E's girlfriend)

E
Mischa Barton
Paris Hilton
Susan Lum (think waaaaay back!)
Suchin Pak
Tori (Sloan's friend)

Turtle
Drew Barrymore
Jenna Jameson
Lil Kim
Jessica Simpson
Sloan (E's girlfriend)

Geography plays a key role in the game. In the 2005 U.S. census, 99.2 percent of Americans reported still holding on to unchecked lists. That successful 0.8 percent all live in or around Hollywood.

In the interests of fairness and full disclosure, I shall reveal my top five because I want you all to use the comments on this blog to submit your list. We will compile those results and produce the official "Entourage, the blog List," so feel free to forward this around to your friends. All genders are invited to participate.

Jessica Alba
Lindsay Lohan
Jennifer Lopez
Madonna
Michelle Rodriguez

Your turn!

By Mark La Monica

As I watched another three bets go the way of the loss in the third race at Del Mar Thoroughbred Club last Saturday, I got mad.

Time to flip open the rest of my race program to see what else this day of financial ruin has in store for me. I began from the back and found a horse named Make Mine Vodka in the 10th race. Well, it was time to apply my new theory of "I drink it, I bet it." I would find out later in the day that this was a smart theory.

A minute or so later, I flipped back another page and found the card for the ninth race. Hmmm, this No. 6 horse looks interesting. His name? Entourage!

Boom! Let's bet it out!

"Oh, hell yeah!" I announced to a small group of my friends and a much larger group of non-friends. "We're playing the No. 6 horse in the ninth race. I'm betting Entourage and betting it hard."

Time for the newfound "I watch it, I bet it" theory.

They claim life on the West Coast is much more laid back than here on the East Coast. For the most part, this is true. But an East Coaster vacationing in Southern California on occasion needs immediate answers to important questions.

I pulled out my Razr and called the boss. Sure, it was a Saturday and I was on vacation, but this is the Age of Information, and dagnabbit, I needed some information.

Boss friend Lil Jon knows my track record of ridiculousness, so he was wise not to pick up the phone. I left a message, which went something like this: "Jon, I'm at the track in Del Mar and a horse named Entourage is running in the ninth race. How big a bet will Newsday reimburse me for so I can effectively blog about this day?"

He texted me back something to the effect of "You're a complete lunatic . . . but if you win, we split it." Sadly, no reimbursement form was attached.

That wouldn't stop me from playing big. Well, big for me, that is.

An immediate decision was made: the races in between would help build a bankroll to play Entourage in the ninth.

The eighth race paid nicely. Becrux, the Italian-bred horse (is there a better reason to bet it?), won and my crazy blind exacta yielded a lovely $66 payout.

Uh oh, only 24 minutes to post for the ninth race. I approached the window. (Turn on 1989 Richard Dreyfuss voice.) "Let it ride!" (Turn off 1989 Richard Dreyfuss voice.)

I took Entourage across the board, then decided to hedge it a bit and play some exactas. Life is about having options, like Vince with movie roles after the "Aquaman" release. Of course, all those exactas had one rule, not unlike E for his threesome with Sloan and her friend. They all had to include Entourage.

Regardless of the rules, E still won. I didn't.

Entourage came in seventh out of 11 horses. Was never really close either.

Ouch. And I was all set to buy mini Aston Martins for my friends who were with me if I won those bets.

At least the show hasn't been canceled yet and this blog is progressing nicely, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Make Mine Vodka and make it a double!

By Mark La Monica

Inspired by last week's All-Star break in Major League Baseball, we present the world's first television blog midseason report card.

Season Three of Entourage is technically 20 episodes, but the final eight won't air until sometime in 2007 as part of HBO's new plan of extending seasons for what reasons I still don't grasp. So that leaves us with a 12-episode run concluding Aug. 27. With six episodes already saved to our DVRs and TiVos, let's review. (We'll deal with the final eight episodes next year once HBO figures out when to show them.)

Writing
Brilliant, as always. The writers have kept up the high level they set for themselves with the previous seasons. Lisa Alden, new to show’s writing staff, delivered a terrific episode (No. 6: Three’s Company) in her first official full-script credit.
Grade: A

Character Development
It’s the biggest reason a show succeeds or fails. No advancement means stale stories. Not the case here. Vince Chase became the biggest grossing movie star ever (until Johnny Depp in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean 2,’ that is) but still struggles to land the roles he really wants to do. Johnny Drama has a pilot en route. Turtle is becoming a music management whiz. Ari Gold is building his own agency and has a softer side. So far, E hasn’t progressed much from last year, the threesome episode notwithstanding. But that’s why we have a second half of the season.
Grade: B+

Storylines
The first three episodes did a good job of carrying us from the second season into this third season. The next three episodes advanced the new stories just touched upon in the first three episodes and introduced a few new ones. From Vince’s next project and the conflict with the studio to Ari repping Drama and Turtle to the brief look into Ari’s home life, Season Three has a solid overall flow.
Grade: A-

Creativity
Every episode has the same underlying theme: four old friends maintaining their friendships as they deal with what life brings them. (And the life they lead brings them quite a lot of goodies.) The trick is dressing up that basic theme in different clothes each week to keep viewers interested. Watching Ari Gold’s progression during the “Aquaman” blackouts in the second episode was a unique way to tackle a box-office debut weekend. As was the same start dates for the filming of "Aquaman 2" and "Medellin," two movies supposed to star Vince.
Grade: B+

Guest Stars
This is based on general star power, storyline and performance. James Woods was outstanding as himself. His breakdown on the guys’ doorstep over premiere tickets was hilarious, as was the interaction with Drama. Any time you can get big-dog directors James Cameron and Paul Haggis, you’ve done well. Add Bruno Kirby, who played the young Clemenza in “The Godfather II” back in the day and everyone is happy. Domenick Lombardozzi was exceptional in his performance of “Dom.” We were supposed to despise that guy and, oh lord, did we despise that guy. But, for the love of Pete, more Emmanuelle Chriqui!
Grade: A-

Comedy
Just read the six previous “Quote of the week” entries in the archives section of this blog as the cast vies for the Big Knish Award as this season’s winner of Best Printable Line. Enjoy the laughs those quotes evoke, then realize the significance of “printable.” The best stuff usually has a curse or 12 in it, so I have to avoid repeating those, in print that is. And, seriously, has there been a funnier scene on television this year than Drama diving face first into the pool when the blackout hit at that high school graduation party?
Grade: A

Closure
Leaving plotlines open from one season to another is what whacked “The Sopranos” down a notch in recent years. At the All-Star break here, there are a few loose ends. Fans of the show may be wondering whatever happened to “Queens Boulevard.” The guess here is we’ll find out something soon. And what about Mandy Moore? No mention at all, not even one little crack here and there about her after the huge “Aquaman” release. Surely, Turtle or Drama could have been given a line somewhere.
Grade: B-

Hot chicks
Sorry, lady readers, but the nature of the show begs for such a category on the report card. Although we demand to see more of Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui), we haven’t been disappointed with the bevy of eye candy floating around the scenes, even the girl who was “top tall” in the season opener.
Grade: B+

By Mark La Monica

More than a few thoughts ran through my mind while working on the red carpet for the New York premiere of Season 3 of "Entourage." Here they are:

* There's TV hot, Internet hot and movie hot. Then there's Emmanuelle Chriqui hot.

* Prince, in 1994, asked the question in the first lyric: "Could u be the most beautiful girl in the world?" Clearly, Prince hadn't met Chriqui yet. If he had, he'd know that there's no need to ever ask that question.

* It's Jessica-Alba-asked-me-out impossible to call Kevin Dillon anything but "Johnny Drama" when interviewing him.

* Saigon came down the red carpet unnoticed by everyone but myself, Camera friend Lil Jon and Johnny Dra . . . er, Kevin Dillon. I said hello and asked Saigon if he wanted to wreck the mic with a little Newsday.com exclusive freestyle. He laughed an appreciative laugh and said no thanks. I offered to beatbox for him. He laughed again, which was a shrewd move on his part because I am Doug E. Stale when it comes to beatboxing.

* The first theory here is that I challenged Saigon to a rap battle and he declined to participate, making me the B. Rabbit of the Red Carpet. The second theory is that I'm just a nutjob. I like my first theory better, but the second theory is more widely accepted as fact.

* Mark Wahlberg is a genuinely nice fella to deal with.

* "So, Turtle, are you going to get a last name this year?" I asked. "Turtle's not gonna get a first name this year," responded Jerry Ferrara, the actor who plays Turtle. Good point, Jerry.

* Mrs. Ari, aka Perrey Reeves, is fantastic.

* Kevin Connolly, the actor who plays Vincent Chase's best friend and manager, is as down to earth as is humanly possible, a refreshing change of pace in celebrity journalism.

* James Woods. Hilarious.

* Hey, look, there's Rex Lee. Llooooooooooooooooooooooooooooyd!

* The first two episodes of the third season as just as good as they're supposed to be. Other than that, I won't reveal any details.

* Did I mention yet that Emmanuelle Chriqui is flawless?

During an interview this past weekend, Entourage star Kevin Connolly said he’s still getting used to do all the press and publicity stuff he does to promote the show.

I told him that if he can get through any scene with Johnny Drama in it without completely losing it, then he could pretty much handle any interview by any interviewer.

“He’s my favorite character on the show,” Connolly, aka “E” said. “He kills me.”

Indeed, Drama is a hilarious character and his hijinks are classic. But the show works so well because of the on-screen chemistry of the ensemble cast. Still, we all have our favorites. Who’s yours?

Listed below are the six main characters with reasons to enjoy each one. Vote for your favorite.

E
Has a great job . . . doesn’t have to wear a suit to work . . . doesn’t even need an office . . . drives sweet Maserati without the hassle of having to pay for it . . . only has one client to concern himself with.
Vote for E.

Vincent Chase
Movie star . . . gets tons of free stuff . . . has other people to do things for him . . . chicks . . . never forgets about his boys . . . doesn’t get road rage because other people drive him places . . . never has to wait in line at a club or bar.
Vote for Vincent Chase.

Johnny Drama
Younger brother is rich . . . gets acting roles based primarily on his DNA . . . “Pacific Blue” residual checks . . . the Brooke Shields and Joyce Brothers scenes from the second season.
Vote for Johnny Drama.

Turtle
Relaxing wardrobe . . . suits are illegal in his closet . . . no job stress . . . drives a $75,000 Hummer . . . just hangs out all day and collects a paycheck . . . has unlimited bank account in Vince . . . knows everyone in town.
Vote for Turtle.

Ari Gold
Powerful agent . . . impressive wardrobe . . . hot wife . . . can basically say whatever the heck he wants to people . . . he’s his own boss . . . cell phone full of A-listers . . . will hug it out when necessary.
Vote for Ari Gold.

Shauna
The most bad-ass publicist in town . . . juiced in to everything . . . perhaps the best curser west of Brooklyn . . . has an assistant to bring her drinks . . . can get anything she wants with one phone call.
Vote for Shauna.