By Mark La Monica
While Johnny Drama was already crowned with Season 2 Big Knish Award for most Best Printable Lines, we here at Entourage, the blog, thought it would be fun to go back and recap all of Season 2 and see if Drama still won the title or if we'd have to put an asterisk in the record book.
See, this blog began midway through Season 2, but thanks to a steady paycheck and the advent of TV on DVD, we can exist in a world where every episode of "Entourage" exists in perpituity for the masses.
And here we go with the complete edition of Season 2 Best Printable Lines:
Episode 1: The Boys are Back in Town
The guys return from New York and head to Ari Gold's office where they are greeted by his new assistant, Lloyd, a gay Asian.
When the guys ask about Lloyd, Ari delivers a typical Ari Gold response: "He's cute, and he fills two quotas."
Episode 2: My Maserati Does 185
E just cheated on his girlfriend, Kristen, with a Perfect 10 model. The guys then go to a jewelry store so E can buy an apology necklace. They're praising E for his work with the hot girl, played by Holly Valance, when Drama drops this gem:
"Kristen's cute in that 'I want to marry so I can divorce you someday' kind of way, but that girl last night, she could start wars."
Episode 3: Aquamansion
Despite the Johnny Drama-Ralph Macchio hilarity in this episode, E takes the BPL title this week when the guys are shopping for pajamas for a Playboy Mansion party.
Turtle gives the dialogue a quality start when he says to Vince, "You can go to the Mansion in Underoos and still get laid, Vince."
E closes it out Mariano Rivera-style with this lights-out verbal cutter to Turtle: "Yeah, and you can go wrapped in bearer bonds and still not get laid."
Episode 4: An Offer Refused
Drama has been lamenting his inferior calves for two episodes when he finally goes to a plastic surgeon. The doctor implies that bodily imperfections are often based on genetics. Drama fires back: "I was a double victim. We used to say about Pops, 'No child support, no calves.'"
Episode 5: Neighbors
It was tempting to praise Ari Gold for his "You look like Michelle Kwan in drag" zinger to his assistant Lloyd. But, that is pretty much par for the course with Ari, and given the basis of the show (guys mooching off their star friend), we went with Vince for the BPL.
Vince is having money problems and he's the only one who doesn't know it as the guys all sit for lunch. The check comes and Turtle and Drama both offer to pay. Drama also said he didn't need the new calves and Turtle says he doesn't need the new plasma TV. Surprised by the attempted givebacks, Vince blurts out "You guys haven't paid for anything since '95. What's going on here? Am I getting Punk'd?"
Episode 6: Chinatown
Vince needs work. Ari finds him a commercial for the Chinese equivalent of Red Bull. Vince balks. Ari tries to convince him to do it because the director is very talented, clinching the BPL with this quip: "Tarantino has already decided he's the next guy he wants to steal from."
Episode 7: The Sundance Kids
This one may be a bit regional, but Drama left us no choice but to defer to our Northeast roots here at Entourage, the blog.
When the guys land in Utah for the Sundance Film Festival, they're talking about hitting the slopesfor some skiing and snowboarding. After some back-and-forth banter, Drama seals the deal with "If you can ski Hunter Mountain, you can ski anywhere."
Episode 8: Oh, Mandy
Clearly, Jerry Ferrara spoke to the script writers before they sat down and crafted this episode because Turtle took the gold, silver and bronze medals this time around. Even though it only counts as one point in the standings, we'll list the three gems in ascending order:
Bronze medal: When first seeing their new digs (Jessica Alba's house in Malibu with an outdoor pool), Turtle yells out "This is like Far Rockaway minus the crackwhores."
Silver medal: When trying to explain how much Vince's head was screwed up after the Mandy Moore breakup, Turtle tells E, "He made a mix tape!"
And the gold medal . . . and the BPL for the week: Drama is having a classic meltdown on the PCH when a surfer dude gets out of his car to call out Drama. Turtle, trying to reign in Drama, says, "Why we picking a fight with Point Break?"
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