Entourage: Let's Blog It Out

By Mark La Monica

To fully appreciate the Best Printable Line from the Season 3.5 finale, you need to understand two words:

1) Billy
2) Walsh

He's a whackadoo character on the show, and every time he shows up on your television screen, he refuses to disappoint.

Of course, he didn't win the BPL this week because every fourth word out of his mouth is an F-bomb or worse. But, his new (and fitting) arc as a porn director gave rise to an unlikely BPL victor: Vince.

Vince and E rolled onto Walsh's set to discuss Medellin without knowing anything about his new gig. After discussing what movie it might be in the car ride over, Vince and E walk into a porn set with a pool table, leather outfits, naked women and men and, of course, Billy Walsh.

Vince turns to E and quizzically opines about Walsh's new movie, "Boogie Nights 2?"

Funny on so many levels.

The Final Season 3.5 Best Printable Line Standings
Drama 2
E 2
Turtle 1
Vince 1
Sloan 1
Kelly 1

By Mark La Monica

After a full season away from the top of the heap, Johnny Drama returns to share Entourage, the blog's coveted Big Knish Award for Season 3.5. He splits the title with E, who delivered his share of one-liners in this short season of eight episodes.

This marks the second straight season of co-champions in the race for the Big Knish Award, given at the end of each season to the character with the most Best Printable Lines, those memorable and printable quotes from each episode.

Similar to rounds in a boxing match, the judges rate each episode individually. They don't look at the running total until after each week just to update the standings. And since so many things go on in real life during the seven days between episodes, the judges don't remember the standings.

Props to both Drama and E for giving us so much good material to use in the office on Monday.

The Final Season 3.5 Best Printable Line Standings
Drama 2
E 2
Turtle 1
Vince 1
Sloan 1*
Kelly 1*

Big Knish History
Season 3.5 -- Drama, E
Season 3 -- Ari Gold, Turtle
Season 2 -- Johnny Drama
Season 1 -- Johnny Drama**

* As determined by the readers those weeks based on voting.

** Entourage the blog began midway through Season 2, but we went back and did the research from Season 1. Not surprisingly, Drama won that season's Big Knish, too.

Best Printable Line rules
Just to refresh your memory, the weekly honor of Best Printable Line comes with the caveat of the quote being able to be reprinted for people of all ages. If not for this rule, Ari Gold would win every week. If not for this rule, I'd have been fired for dropping too many curses and lewd material in this blog.

By Mark La Monica

The voters have spoken, albeit much quieter than the last time. Such is life. The winner of the Best Printable Line for Episode 7 of Season 3.5 is Kelly, Rufus' daughter.

Her bomb carried the way for the readers of "Entourage, the blog" in what was an average episode.

While hooking up with Turtle in the car, she asked what his real name is.

"What, you think I'd have sex with someone saying 'Oh Turtle!'?"

The results make the Season 3.5 finale on June 3 that much more important. Drama and E are tied for the Big Knish Award, given to the character with the most BPLs in a season.

Drama won the title in Seasons 1 and 2, and Turtle and Ari shared it in Season 3. Can Drama get the hat trick? Or will E sneak up and claim his first crown? Or can Turtle cause a three-way tie atop the BPL standings?

Best Printable Line Standings
(with one week left)

Drama 2
E 2
Turtle 1
Sloan 1
Kelly 1
Ari 0
Vince 0

By Mark La Monica

We'll waste no time and dive right into this week's nominees for Best Printable Line.

1) Johnny Drama, after telling the guys he was just offered a part in "Rush Hour 3" without having to audition.

"Johnny Drama don't shine shoes no more."

2) Turtle, moments after Drama's line above

"I knew my life would suck if Drama got a career before I did."

3) Johnny Drama, after Brett Ratner tells him the only parts he has left for "Rush Hour 3" are French part.

"Je pas francais."

4) Kelly, while hooking up with Turtle in the car and asking what his real name is.

"What, you think I'd have sex with someone saying 'Oh Turtle!'?"

By Mark La Monica

That's right, folks. To quote Daniel LaRusso, "It's coming around again."

It's another chance for our loyal "Entourage, the blog" readers to decide the Best Printable Line for Episode 7 of Season 3.5.

All the same rules apply. The nominees will be posted shortly after 11 p.m. on Sunday, May 20. You'll then have 25 hours to cast your ballot. Vote once, vote twice, vote 300 times. Whatever you want.

When the clock hits midnight on Monday night, the polls close.

Then, Tueday morning, we'll announce the winner.

Best Printable Line Standings
(with two weeks left)

Drama 2
E 2
Turtle 1
Sloan 1
Ari 0
Vince 0

By Mark La Monica

This week was a tight contest, with random un-named characters challenging for a place on the Best Printable Line leaderboard.

But we had to throw a bone to Turtle for his dig mid-show on Drama. The race for the Big Knish is tight with just two episodes remaining in Season 3.5.

After he wrecked the freshly refurbished car for Drama, he pleads with Rufus (formerly of Home Video Solutions) to fix it for him ASAP.

"This isn't even for me," he said. "This is for Drama. You know Drama. You know what a sad life it's been for him."

That stings.

Best Printable Line Standings
(with two weeks left)

Drama 2
E 2
Turtle 1
Sloan 1
Ari 0
Vince 0

By Mark La Monica

Johnny Drama appears to be hitting his stride with the mighty lines that leave us temporarily crippled from laughter.

While at Del Mar's racetrack playing the ponies with the boys, Vince learns he has another shot at landing the lead role in "Medellin."

E works with Ari to help set up a meeting at Ari's temple with the co-executive producer and Amanda.

She hesitates about going to the temple on the holiest day of the Jewish religion.

Turtle interjects and says "She'll go to temple for Vince."

Drama fires back: "She'd go to the Gaza Strip in a yarmulke for Vince."

Best Printable Line Standings
(with three weeks left)

Drama 2
E 2
Sloan 1
Ari 0
Vince 0
Turtle 0

By Mark La Monica

It took four episodes but Johnny Drama finally jumped into the race for the Season 3.5 Big Knish Award for most Best Printable Lines.

He ripped off about a dozen or so great lines in the Chuck Liddell parking lot encounter, but he capped it off with an ultimate gem when he got back to the house.

In one of his patented "Falling Down" hypochondriac meltdowns, Drama tells the guys: "I got a lifetime of looking over my shoulder to look forward to. I'm like Henry Hill."

Best Printable Line Standings
(through four weeks)
E 2
Drama 1
Sloan 1
Ari 0
Vince 0
Turtle 0

By Mark La Monica

Vince and E just got railed on by their new agent, Amanda, about the "Glimpses" project she presented them in the Season 3.5 opener.

Rehashing the scene outside as they talked to Drama and Turtle, E came through with this week's Best Printable Line.

Since E and Vince are going to reread the script for "Glimpses," Turtle says he and Drama are going to head to the Dodgers game.

E wasn't having any of that.

"Just for that, I'm getting four copies," E said. "You guys can read some Edith Warton, too. Let us know what the retards of America think."

Season 3.5 Best Printable Line Standings
(through three weeks)
E 2
Sloan 1
Ari 0
Drama 0
Turtle 0
Lloyd 0

By Mark La Monica

Props to the people responsible for 1,357 votes in our first-ever "You pick the BPL" feature after Episode 2 of this season.

The poll results are in, and at this point "Entourage, the blog" is calling the Best Printable Line vote in favor of Sloan. In a race featuring five contenders, Sloan won a 52.2 percent majority vote with her dig on her boyfriend E.

In Episode 2, Sloan tries to convince E that they should go on vacation alone, not with Vince and a lady friend. E doesn't think that's possible. Sloan says, "You're a little Vince's boy."

The complete final results:

Season 3.5 Best Printable Line Standings
(through two weeks)
E 1
Sloan 1
Ari 0
Drama 0
Turtle 0
Vince 0
Lloyd 0

By Mark La Monica

For those who didn't thoroughly enjoy last week's season premiere, here's hoping you thoroughly lost your mind at all the bombs dropped in Episode 2: "Dog Day Afternoon."

And for those of you who missed Friday's Big BPL announcement, here's a refresher course. It's the readers' turn to choose the Best Printable Line. We're putting up a few nominees and you've got until 11:59 p.m. Monday night to cast your vote. Vote once, vote multiple times. Tell your friends. We'll announce the winner Tuesday morning.

Nominee 1: Sloan
Sloan is trying to convince E that they should go on vacation alone, not with Vince and a lady friend. E doesn't think that's possible when Sloan says, "You're a little Vince's boy."

Nominee 2: Turtle
Drama and Turtle arrive at the dog park in order to scam on the ladies. Once they arrive and see the talent, Turtle blurts out, "All these years I've been wondering where girls hide during the day."

Nominee 3: Ari Gold
The ultra non-PC Ari is walking through a gay club and is clearly uncomfortable. As he tries to navigate his way through the shirtless flesh on the dance floor with the music blaring, he mumbles, "Coming through. All right. Civilian. No touching."

Nominee 4: Ari Gold
Ari goes to the club in an attempt to save Lloyd from the grasp of Jay Lester, the client that Ari went after by exploiting Lloyd's sexual preference. Lester is ready to take Lloyd home, but Ari won't allow it. Lester then says he won't sign with Ari. He's OK with that and tells Lester, "We may be whores in our agency, but we ain't pimps."

Nominee 5: Johnny Drama
Turtle played the Steve Nash to Johnny Drama's Amare Stoudamire on this one. The two were lamenting another failed afternoon delight as Turtle defends his decision to yell back at the girl he was fooling around with. "I can't take a girl over Arnold, Drama, he's like a brother in arms," Turtle said. Drama responded, "Yeah, well is that brother gonna help you with them blue balls?"

By Mark La Monica

Here's my turn to thank all the loyal readers of "Entourage, the blog." (By the way, that number counts out five digts to the left of the decimal point, which is both crazy, humbling and cool.)

For Week 2 of Season 3.5, I proudly turn over the Best Printable Line contest to you, the fans of the show and this blog. Well, sort of.

This Sunday, for the first time in the two years of "Entourage, the blog," readers will determine what the BPL will be. That's right, people. You can effect history. Rock the vote!

On Sunday night around 11 p.m. or so, we'll announce the nominees for this week's Best Printable Line. Not sure how many nominees we'll have. That all depends on Doug Ellin and the writers.

You will then have until midnight Monday to cast your vote.

Vote once. Vote twice. Vote as many times as you want. Email your friends in the other dorm and tell them to vote. Call your parents and tell them to get in on the BPL madness. Send out bulletins on MySpace.

BPL fever, catch it!

We will close the poll on Monday night and then announce the winner Tuesday morning.

This is just our little way of saying thanks to the people that make this blog a must-read on Monday mornings.

Victory!

By Mark La Monica

After three seasons and two Big Knish Awards, it's easy to default to Johnny Drama for Best Printable Line. In fact, it's almost surprising when he doesn't take home the weekly BPL honor.

He's sort of like Tiger Woods at a major golf event. The standard is set so high that when he doesn't win, you immediately wonder what went wrong. It's not that another golfer won, but Tiger lost.

Although Drama hit some great shots, E sunk the putt on 18 to win the first BPL of Season 3.5. Of course, It was a zinger at Drama.

Quick refresher: We're a family Web site and I need the steady paycheck, so Best Printable Line is just that: the best line from the show that is reprintable. Of course, the lines with cursing are often more repeatable and reusable in life, they are not reprintable.

The entire episode, Drama was all about the billboard advertising the Ed Burns pilot that became a new show on NBC (in the show, not in real life . . . yet.)

As Vince is preparing to make a wish before blowing out the candles at his birthday bash, Drama suggests Vince include him in his wish.

E steps in and shoots out: "What do you want him to wish for Drama, that someone recognizes you?"

Season 3.5 Best Printable Line Standings (thru one episode):
E 1
Ari 0
Drama 0
Turtle 0
Vince 0

P.S. Be sure to check back here this Friday for a BPL big announcement.