I've been a little out of sorts due to an unexpected surgery and I haven't posted in a few weeks. It's nice to finally feel well again and I'm looking forward to these blasted stitches coming out. Being stuck indoors for an entire week can make one go quite mad. So mad in fact, that one may write a letter to oneself in regards to their missing piece...

     Dear Appendix,

I've known you for a mere 32 years and I am in mourning over your sudden departure. I always thought you were such a good appendix too. I never knew that you would one day turn on me and leave me to fend for myself. You were such a quiet little thing. You never misbehaved or caused alarm so this was very unexpected. I thought that we would grow old together and see each other through the good times and the bad. I will never forget the news that you were going to be leaving me and I will always think of you when I look at these little scars on my belly. Rest in peace my dear friend. There will never be another appendix like you. You will always be a piece of me.

                               Yours truly,
                             Melissa

     So the next time any of you are walking around and the right side of your stomach hurts and you don't feel quite right, just think about how it could be your dear little friend turning against you. You might want to go the hospital and get checked out so the little guy doesn't throw a tantrum and burst. Just saying.

      It's been a long week and I really can't wait for fall to get here. It's been getting cooler at night (thank goodness) and that's the perfect time to take my dog Penelope for a walk. I love my dog. I actually love most dogs. It's the owners that I can't always stand.
     So I'm walking my dog and we pass several people who are also walking their dogs. We exchange "Hello's" and keep walking. Then we get a little further down the street and we are approaching a woman walking her little dog that looks like a drowned rat. She is standing on the sidewalk while the little beast takes a crap on someone's lawn. The dog finishes as we get closer and the woman just starts walking again. She didn't clean up after the dog and looked as if she didn't even care that her dog just pooped on someone's nicely manicured lawn (actually far enough into the yard that it was almost near the front steps). Normally I keep to myself... but I had to say something to her because I think that's just really rude. I approach her and say that she should really clean up after her dog and be a responsible pet owner. She just ignores me (of course).
     It's fine if you want to let your dog poop on your own lawn but it's really not okay to let your dog relieve itself on a strangers lawn. At least clean it up if it does. We all know that when a dog needs to go, it needs to go and sometimes it happens in places it shouldn't.
     If you own a dog... be responsible. Dogs can't pick it up themselves and YOU'RE the owner which means YOU are responsible for the cleanup. Thank you. That is all.

 So I thought I would share a little conversation I overheard at Whole Foods...

Daughter- "But MOMMY... why can't my friends and I drink? It's MY party and I'm twenty four. All my friends are old enough to drink! That's SO NOT FAIR! It's not even like we're having it at YOUR house! I should be able to have cocktails in my OWN place!"

Mother- " Because I don't want people drinking and spilling drinks all over the furniture daddy and I got for you. You know how people get when they drink too much. We didn't furnish your apartment with nice things just so people could destroy everything. If there's alcohol, then daddy and I aren't coming and you can say goodbye to the gifts we got for you. End of story."

Wow. REALLY!? A grown adult who calls their parents "Mommy" and "Daddy" and gets an apartment full of furniture for free? Really? Unbelievable. I could not believe what I was listening to. It's actually quite pathetic, really. Welcome to suburbia.

      This weather has been unbearable and I am sweating my butt off. Taking cold showers makes you feel nice for a little while but as soon as you get out and dry off you feel like you need to take a shower again. Not to mention what the humidity does to everyone's hair. Ughhhh. I seriously can't wait for Fall to get here.
     We bought a Slip and Slide and have been using it every once in a while but when you're an adult and you go running onto a Slip and Slide... bad things can happen. Very bad things. Like grass burns all over your stomach because your weight propelled you forward way faster than you expected. Or slipping and falling and seriously hurting your back side. Ahhh. I wish I were a kid again.
     Well anyhoo, here's another yummy recipe to keep you cooled down...


                           Blueberry Lemonade Slushies

     2 Cups Frozen blueberries
     1 Cup ice
     4 Scoops Lemon sorbet
     Lemonade

          Put the blueberries, ice and sorbet in the blender. Pour in lemonade in until it just covers the other ingredients and blend until everything is well blended. Serve right away.


*Tip* Buy local blueberries and freeze them in the containers they come in. They cost less and are usually much bigger than the kinds you buy in plastic bags in the frozen section.

     So... any of you that grew up in the eighties and early nineties might recall a series on TV called Twin Peaks. It was a project by David Lynch and it ruled. I was in junior high at the time it aired and I used to watch it with my mom every week (why she allowed me to watch it at that age is beyond me). It started off great and towards the end it kind of just got really bizarre and lost most of it's viewers and was canceled.
     Why am I still talking about a TV series from forever ago? Because it's AWESOME and I am currently watching the series again with my best friend because she had never seen it. It's probably my twentieth time watching it but I love it so much I could watch it hundreds of times and never get bored with it. It's just one of those things I guess.
     If anyone enjoys David Lynch movies and you haven't seen the series, you should seriously Netflix it pronto. Better yet, buy the series in DVD on Amazon. If you do watch the series and finish all of the episodes, there is a movie called Fire Walk With Me that's a prequel to the TV show. DO NOT watch the movie first or you'll spoil the series. If anyone does read this and does get around to watching it... let me know what you think.

     So a few weeks ago, I'm at a Stop&Shop in Hartford and this woman comes up to me and starts asking me about my tattoos. I know by looking at her and by her behavior that she's more than a little off. I'm in a hurry and don't have time to chit chat, nor do I want to chit chat with this psycho, and she starts freaking out when I tell her I'm in a hurry and don't have time to stop so she can look at all of my tattoos. She's yelling at other people who are passing by and telling them all she wants to do is look at my "tats" but I won't let her and I'm being rude, as if stopping a stranger and yelling at them isn't at all rude, and starts yelling at me as I walk away. I get away but encounter her again as I'm exiting and she starts up again telling more people about how rude I am and yelling insulting things at me as I'm leaving. So this is where my rant must begin...
    
         Dear Fellow Human Beings,
     Just because someone has a lot of tattoos, or even just a few for that matter, doesn't mean that you get to reach out and touch them or grab at them as they walk by. What makes you think it's okay to grab a complete stranger? Nor does it give you the right to start asking personal questions about them. They don't want to see your tattoos or compare tattoo stories either. Please don't ask what all the tattoos mean or ask how many they have and please don't ask them to stop what they are doing just so you can take a gander. It's cool that they have some and you have some but that doesn't mean you get to stop them and talk about them. They don't have to tell you their life story nor do they want to listen to yours. And come to think of it... no one want to hear about all your tattoo ideas either. Well at least I don't. Thank you for listening.

     A few years ago I went to visit my family in Tennessee and while I was there I tried to squeeze in as much fun stuff as I could. I went all over Nashville and found some really cool clothing boutiques, record shops, vintage furniture stores and last but not least... The Country Western Wax Museum.
     If you ever find yourself wondering where to go for a fun vacation... Nashville is the place. There are so many amazing bars downtown where there is always someone playing the blues no matter what time of day and the people down south are so very friendly. You can walk down any street and people will actually say hello to you as they pass. It's quite refreshing actually.
     While I never actually had time to venture out further, you aren't too terribly far from Memphis and that's where you'll find Graceland. I've heard it's awesome. Dollywood is not too far either and who doesn't love Dolly Parton!? There's also the Jack Daniels Distillery which was fun even if you don't drink. You get a tour and a pretty interesting history lesson.You could stay for a week and never have a dull moment.
     I'm attaching some photos I took from the wax museum. Some of the wax models are pretty frightening but it was well worth the thirteen dollars we paid for admission. Attached to the wax museum is the Dukes Of Hazzard Museum so it's a win, win.

   

 Seeing as this is my first blog and I've never written one before... I decided to just start small. I've been hot and cranky so I've been obsessing about cooling down and drinking cold drinks has always made me feel better if only for a little while.
     With summer in full force and this unbearable heat upon us, I have been in the mood for smoothies. Lots and lots of cold delicious smoothies. I seem to have become addicted to Robeks but the smoothies are so expensive and I can make them myself for a fraction of the cost. I thought I would share one of my favorite smoothie recipes to make at home. Today was too hot to even breathe and the first thing I did when I got home from work was decide which kind of smoothie I was going to make for me and the kids. It's easy and there's no turning on the oven or stove and no fussing over preparing something to eat. You can throw everything into a blender and in less than a minute you have a yummy treat.
     It's a good idea to splurge on a nice blender. Cheap blenders don't really do the job when you're trying to blend frozen ingredients together for a smoothie or anything else for that matter. I bought an Osterizer Classic with a glass pitcher for a little over one hundred dollars... I think. I know it was around that price but it's been quite a while since I bought it. You can buy even nicer blenders for about four or five hundred dollars but the one I have is perfect for what I use it for.  All I'm saying is just don't be cheap when you buy one.


                                                          Raspberry Peach Smoothies

1 frozen banana
1 cup frozen peaches
1/2 cup fresh or frozen raspberries
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup coconut milk (or any other milk... soy, almond, ect...)
1 Tablespoon ground flax seeds (optional)

Blend all ingredients together until smooth. Enjoy.

*Tip* Buy bananas and peel them, cut into quarters and put them in a freezer bag to freeze. I also really like to use the So Delicious brand of coconut milk which is in the cold fridge next to the soy milk at Whole Foods.