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Poor Jake

I had imagined what the death of Jake would be like. Happening upon him one morning. Cold. Indifferent.

hamster.jpgBut this...Have you ever heard the death rattle of hamster?

We had come home from, of all things, a movie about rodents in danger. And as I was digging out the pasta du jour -- elbows or whole wheat penne – a scream filled the house. “Jaaaaaaake.”

And there he was. Listless. Breathing, but barely. His little brown eyes opening, closing.

We sat, Erika and her sleepover friend and I. Crying. Watching. Wondering.

“You should call the doctor,” the friend said. Yeah right. Thanks. Is he dead yet?

We touched him, petted him. He moved a bit, almost thrashing.

“Oh Erika. You were such a good mommy.” She cried and cried. And it seemed to go on and on.

“His nose is wet and it’s all black around his mouth.” I sent her out of the room. She didn’t need to see this.

So there I sat. And I thought about the movie. Poor Jake. His whole life behind bars, pretending to be happy while on some other side of the hamster-ville line was a world where little hamsters had families, foraged for food, and made something of themselves.

Or maybe not.

He gurgled. He sweated. He gasped. It really really happens like that. Then Jake was gone.

Daddy dug a hole in the back yard. We found a box. And between commercial breaks of That’s So Raven, we said some words.

Jake was a good hamster.

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