Too young for the 'gay' talk?
"God is love. God is gay.''
I heard Lily, my four-year-old, saying this over and over as she rode her trike around the house the other day.
I decided to ignore it.
A few days ago she started it up again, in the back seat as we commuted home. And then she asked: "What's gay?''
Ummm. I quickly tried to decide -- is now the time to get into this conversation? I know how Lily loves to talk loudly about things that embarrass people, while we are in the checkout line at the grocery store. (Such as last week: "She's HUGE'' comment.)
Should I really arm her with some new information that she will probably decide to test at the worst possible time?
So I replied, "It means you're happy.''
"Oh. I'm gay. ... I'm happy.''
OK, I thought. Let's see where this goes.
"God is gay. God is happy. God is gay.''
"I wouldn't go around saying that, Lily,'' I said.
"Why not? I want to. ... God is gay.''
Oh no.
Well, Lily soon changed the subject to the next burning issue: "Why haven't you ever bought me a lunch box?''
So I figured, whew, we're past that.
The very next day, she was talking to my husband, and she made the following comment: "Boys can only kiss girls.''
Bob took a different approach than I did. Rather than ignore it, he seized the moment, as I probably should have.
"No, actually ....,'' Bob replied, and gave her a short explanation. As soon as she heard the word "gay,'' bells went off in her head.
"Gay means you're happy.''
Bob burst out laughing.
"You sound like my grandma!'' he said to her. "I haven't heard that since Grandma Rachel was alive!'
I could see all I had done was created confusion and probably set Lily up to be made fun of.
"But mommy said ...'' she replied.
Next time I think I'll take the blunt approach.
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