As a mom of 4, I say with confidence that spanking is a tool that parents need to use. Unfortunately, our image of spanking may be part of the reason we don't want to use it. The proper way to spank does not involve anger or physical abuse. When a child disobeys, the parent should take an object (I don't like to use my hand unless my ruler is not to be found) and explain to the child the behavior that was wrong. Keep it brief. Swat the child on the rear or back of the legs once or twice. Afterwards, state again what the wrong behavior was (or if the child is old enough, have him/her state it). Then let the child know you love them (hug & kiss), but not the behavior. I have found that dealing with unacceptable behavior under the age of 5 in this manner decreases the need to spank children as they get older. Also, losing priviledges like TV time and PlayStation time are tools that can be used with older children. Regardless, whatever method you choose to discipline a child, the most important thing is to be consistent. Overlooking certain behaviors when children are young creates big problems when they get older. Remember, as a parent, your job is to train your child to become the wonderful adult he can be. You have 18 years to do it.

heck i was beaten, spit on called names, verbally, physically, mentally abused up to the day i left home at 20 yrs old. it was a very high anxiety home, and i never ever gave my parents a hard time, i cleaned the house, cooked meals, did laundry, took care of my 2 younger siblings, ...What i am trying to say is spanking..ok but punching, slapping, name calling is very wrong. i am now 48 yrs old and still have issues with being that i am alright, and im not what my mother said i was.

to this day there are times when i dont want to speak to her because she still tries to manipulate to get me to do what she wants (like buy her a new car)
Its probably why I never had children of my own.

i never felt loved. my mother used to say she wished i was never born!

Hello,

This is an age old question. Most experts agree that spanking may be "efficient" but NOT effective for your goals as a parent. I believe the biggest problem with spanking is that it is usually done in anger. It happens when a parent loses patience. If spanking were performed in the way we used to get paddled in school, you might have an argument for it. In other words, 2 wacks for a curse word(an example). It would be consistent and unemotional.

There are far more effective means of discipline. Please make no mistake, as a behaviorist, I DO believe in consistent consequences (or cost for certain responses). I also believe and the research supports that positives are far more effective in shaping behavior.

Best Wishes,
Jeff

I was paddled a couple of time growing up. I was paddled for not minding. I nover got more than 4 swats. Some time only 1 or 2 depending how I was.

The next time your two-year-old throws a fit why not just wait it out and than say that pouting or throwing a fit won't change your mind. Kids soon realize that this behaviour will get them no where and your letting "vent" a little bit, which we all need to do now and then.

I have two young children and I spanked them when they were very young. About two or three years old. They are 7 and 9 now and I haven't had to spank them since. I believe that spanking establishes limits and respect. I have never spanked out of anger and I always have a talk and hug after the fact. Spanking does help with obedience but only if it's done when it is truly necessary. Like if the child is yelling at the parent or throwing things out of anger. If spanking is done too often then it just becomes a routine.

We actually use the 1-2-3 Magic approach and find it quite effective with our children. Basically, as soon as they start misbehaving, you starting counting and if you get to 3, they go directly to a timeout or we'll sometimes take away a toy or privilege. We use spanking as a last resort and try to avoid it. I'm not against it, but I do think other forms of discipline work better for our kids. There is a great discussion about whether to spank or not at www.opposingviews.com/questions/is-spanking-an-acceptable-form-of-discipline Experts from both sides debate the issue and make some excellent points...really great read on the topic!

Yes, spank ur kids if they r misbehaving, as long as u dont abuse them or draw blood. We grew up on spankings, only they called them whippings. there shud b no law saying how anyone has to raise their own kids, as long as they are not leaving bruiese, or abusing them. Spank ur damn kids for a good reason, and u wont have to worry about the back talk and slamming doors in ur own house. I am just fine, but i dares to tell my parents "i hate u" or slam any door in their house. I think all kids need discipline and the parent shud be the one to give it. I hate that law people need to mind their own business or come raise my misbehaving child and shut up, Spank them on the legs of butt, don't abuse them, IT IS OKAY!!!!

Yes, spank ur kids if they r misbehaving, as long as u dont abuse them or draw blood. We grew up on spankings, only they called them whippings. there shud b no law saying how anyone has to raise their own kids, as long as they are not leaving bruiese, or abusing them. Spank ur damn kids for a good reason, and u wont have to worry about the back talk and slamming doors in ur own house. I am just fine, but i dares to tell my parents "i hate u" or slam any door in their house. I think all kids need discipline and the parent shud be the one to give it. I hate that law people need to mind their own business or come raise my misbehaving child and shut up, Spank them on the legs of butt, don't abuse them, IT IS OKAY!!!!