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All kids bicker, study says
Kids are bound to disagree with each other. And they disagree most often with those with whom they share the closest quarters and emotional intimacy: their brothers and sisters.
So says a KidsHealth KidsPoll released today. In the poll of 1,245 kids ages 9-13, 28 percent said they argue with other kids every day and 25 percent do it every week. In all, 64 percent of kids said there's a disagreement at home at least weekly. And more than half of the kids said that the person with whom they fight the most is their brother or sister.
Whew. That's a lot of arguing. The good news of the survey is that a third of kids reported that when they disagree, they ultimately talk it out or work it out.
The bad news is that 26 percent reported that they hit or get physical in a fight. And 18 percent said they use mean words or yell.
No kids are born knowing how to resolve conflicts, but conflict is normal and inevitable. As parents, our job is to teach kids how to disagree without using their fists.
KidsHealth.org offers these tips for parents to help teach them to work out their disagreements:
1. Set limits on behavior. Let kids know that it’s not OK to hit, push, or shove when they argue. Be clear that these behaviors are
not acceptable.
2. Get back to basics. Helping kids learn how to get along with others boils down to a few basic principles that parents should remember when helping their kids: take turns, play fair, use your words, say it nicely, apologize, and share.
3. Encourage healthy communication. Help kids learn to use words to express their feelings, thoughts, and needs.
4. Provide guidance. But do not referee or get worked up yourself. Instead of deciding who is right, help kids work out a compromise. In some situations, parents can also ask their children what they think the fair solution should be - and help them work to find a compromise.
5. Role model. Parents should make a point not to use putdowns or get physical when they’re angry, and to apologize if their temper flares and causes them to say something they might regret.
6. Praise. When kids do these things well, reward them with positive feedback.
Gretchen Day-Bryant has a son in high school and a daughter in middle school. She’s lived to tell about the struggles of juggling little kids and work...
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Georgia East is the parent of a five-year-old girl, who came into the world weighing 1 pound, 13 ounces...
Brittany Wallman is the mother of Creed, 13, and Lily, 6, and is married...
Chris Tiedje is the Social Media Coordinator, and father of two boys and a girl all under the age of seven.
