At my son's new school, parents have access to every single grade through an online system called Pinacle. I mean....every quiz, every test, every homework assignment, every classroom participation point that is to be had.

Sounds like a wonderful thing, right? Good parents are "involved" in their kids' education, right? This way I can make sure that Alec is turning in assignments and meeting the standards that we expect him to meet.

But geez. I can't help feeling that here is yet another thing to fret about. Another thing to pressure him about. Another way to be a "helicopter parent."

The first couple weeks was kinda cool, got to feel in touch with his day, got to gloat a bit about the 100s and the 97s and the 94s. We all gathered around the warm glow of the computer and patted him on the back. And then....I can't even say it. But there was a mark that was off the charts (the wrong way) on a math test. A TEST!

Apparently Alec and my husband kept this information from me for a few days (they thought I might react poorly). So when I stumbled on it one night -- and after the initial shock -- I did some soul searching and I have decided that there is such a thing as too much information when it comes to grades. That it probably causes more harm than good to have a parent hovering and harping all the time, especially with an overachieving perfectionist kid.

So I have vowed that I WILL NOT COMMENT on his grades. I will only look at them occasionally and only when he is not around. I will wait until the report card comes out to offer any opinion. (It's going to be very very hard to keep my mouth shut, but I promise....)

I know these tools are there for good reasons. If I had a kid who didn't turn in assignments or didn't always try, Pinnacle would be extremely valuable. But that's not the case with Alec -- quite the opposite. At a certain point, parents of "good kids" have got to let go. Let them fail. Let them figure out how to pick themselves up and keep going. We put so much pressure on kids these days and I know I'm as guilty as anyone.

The last thing Alec needs to worry about is what I will think about every single last little grade. There are too many other things to deal with when you are in 7th grade.

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