Learning to lose gracefully is an extremely important character skill. And as parents, you might not think about it being your job to teach your child how to lose, but it is.

Lily loves to win. She's only 5, and until I bought the Candyland game, this hole in my parenting had gone completely unnoticed by me.

But while doing my Christmas shopping this weekend it struck me that my children are board-game deprived.

My three sisters and I spent a lot of time playing board games, with each other and with our parents. It's quality family time. It's also how you learn the strategies of competition, the frustration of playing with cheaters, and other life skills. You also have to focus.

And as I said, if you lose, you cannot heave the board and all its pieces into the air and storm out. Which is not, I hasten to add, what Lily did.

But she did burst into tears, and she did continue sobbing for about 20 minutes. She was crushed. Even as I made her tell us "Congratulations,'' her face was scrunched in agony and tears were rolling.

I had invited Creed, her older brother, to play. And Creed won. And I came in second. Lily lost.

In our first round of playing the night before, every time Lily got ahead of me, she would say something like, "You're a loser.'' I had to instruct her that to be a good sport, you do not rub your opponent's nose in his losses.

But she relished her victory. And so it was that much more painful to her when she lost the
next night.

She cried and cried. "I wanted to win,'' she said, tears dripping down her cheeks.

I told her it doesn't matter, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, that's how life is. It doesn't mean you're not good at the game, it doesn't mean anything about you. You shouldn't be so hurt by it.

I suppose a good, competitive spirit and a strong desire to win can be good traits. But we can't let our kids think they're always going to win. We don't need more spoiled brats in this country.

Do the world a favor and beat your kid at a board game tonight.