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How to deal with 'the meanest kid in the first grade'
By Laura Kelly
Sun-Sentinel Staff Writer
My daughter is a very active, boisterous and friendly first grader. And, it turns out, one of her male classmates is also very active, boisterous -- and very aggressive.
The last two days, Hayley came home from her extended-day program bruised and a little bloody. On Tuesday, when my mon picked her up, she had a bruise-y cut on her cheek. She said this certain boy had thrown the metal top of a toy container at her. She was holding an ice pack against it so I know an adult got involved at some point. My mom thought the cut was severe enough to warrant my placing a call to the boy's mother but I felt uncomfortable with that. I don't even know -- is that how parents deal with this these days?
On Wednesday, I picked Hayley up at extended day. Her left forearm was bloody and all scraped. She says the same boy dragged her when she wouldn't relinquish a jumprope he wanted. She said after he got the jumprope from her he left her there on the ground and returned to his friends. She laid there for awhile but no adults came to assist her. She says the boys were playing a game called "fling the jumprope at people."
I don't want to paint my daughter as a victim. I honestly think she was trying to play with the boys in her class. And she's not scared of this kid or feeling bullied or anything -- I questioned her specifically on that. She describes him as "the meanest kid in first grade" but I think she mostly likes playing with him when he's not injuring her.
Kids are going to play rough now and then. But her coming home bloody two days in a row from an aggressive act from the same boy has me nervous. I sent an email to Hayley's teacher and the manager of the school's extended-day program.
I feel like this should be brought up somewhere, somehow -- I am sure the boy's a good kid all around, but it seems he needs to be reminded that he can't physically injure his classmates for any reason. Hey, parents. Has anybody been here? What's the consensus on how to handle this?
Laura Kelly is a mother of two, ages 7 and 3. She lives in Martin County.
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Comments
I say to let the school handle it. That is really what's appropriate here. It's not really appropriate to call his parent as it's up to the school to be supervising and disciplining for this type of stuff. You are correct to follow-up with the school and should continue to do so.
Posted by: Amy | February 15, 2008 6:24 PM
First, you need to set up a conference with your daughter's teacher right away. Discuss what the policy is about this type of behavior and what Hayley should have done in this case. I can't believe that the school or the teacher didn't call you right away the moment there was any kind of mark on your child.
I would be polite but firm that you never want this to happen again and ask what the school plans on doing in the future to make sure Hayley is safe.
Posted by: beth | February 15, 2008 8:39 PM
Hey Beth and Amy. Later in the day, I heard from both Hayley's teacher and the "interim" after-care rep. The teacher -- much to her credit -- took the bull by the horns, placed no blame, talked to everyone, and sat down my daughter and the boy. And the two children discussed what happened. Very positive, inclusive approach. Exactly what I wanted.
I was less impressed with the after-care person, who seemed intent on "blaming" my daughter for "wanting to play rough." When the regular director gets back, I'm going to let her know my thoughts on the whole matter.
Public school teachers continue to impress me!
Thanks for replying!
Posted by: laura kelly | February 15, 2008 11:30 PM
I agree, public school teachers do rock!
I teach fourth grade and it can be very difficult to try and keep the peace between 25 children, all with different personalities. However, any child that has been injured needs to have their parents notified right awway.
I think the aftercare programs at many of the elementary schools are not great quality and the children aren't supervised correctly.
Posted by: beth | February 17, 2008 9:11 AM