Message to my daughters: Sex is dangerous
Two stories in the Sun-Sentinel this week provided openings for me to continue the conversation about sex with my two daughters, ages 14 and 16.
My older daughter brought the first story to my attention at 7 a.m. over breakfast on Wednesday. I was barely awake and very glad that I am certain of my message to her regarding sex, so I didn't have to think too hard.
"Ohmigod," she exclaimed. "Fifty percent of teens are sexually active?" That was on the jump of the story that, rightfully, had the news in the lead: That a fourth of teenage girls are infected with common sexually transmitted diseases.
I don't know if my daughter was thinking she needed to get with it, or if she was stunned that so many of her friends and acquaintances are having sex. But it gave me the opening to tell her, again, that I don't think sex at her age is advisable. That's partly because she could get a disease, as this story quite clearly shows, but also because sex should be between two people who care deeply about each other and are committed to their relationship.
It's not something to take lightly, I tell my children. And preferably, they should be old enough to be at least considering marriage before they start having sex.
But, I always say, if they do decide to have sex, they need to use a condom every time. And they should also be aware that even condoms are not 100 percent effective against all sexually transmitted diseases. Only abstinence is.
I didn't really want to have that conversation at 7 a.m., so my daughter got a shortened, somewhat sleepy, version. And then, today, another opportunity appeared on the Sun-Sentinel's 1B, a story about teens trying to convince other teens that the danger of contracting HIV is real.
This opening was even easier: "Sex can kill you."
I don't really want to frighten my children into never having sex, but if my frequent talks about it helps to keep them safe, then I've done my job.
So far, so good. What's your strategy for discussing sex with your children?
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