Vomit, barf, puke, hurl
Lily, our kindergartner, had her first experience with vomit this week. Of course she has thrown up before, but not that she remembers.
"That's disgusting!'' she wailed while crying and looking down at her macaroni-and-cheese pile on the bathroom rug. (Apparently she did not chew her food, because the noodles were intact.)
She didn't even know to throw up into the toilet.
"Use the toilet!'' Bob urged.
She pulled her pants down and sat on the toilet.
"Do you have to go the bathroom?'' I asked. "No,'' she said.
I guess it's not a human instinct to regurgitate into the toilet. One has to learn these things.
Every time she threw up she cried in shock and horror as if she'd never heard of, seen or imagined one's dinner from the night before suddenly flying out of one's mouth, mixed with bile and acids.
All this provoked an interesting discussion about what terminology should be used to describe the act of blowing chunks. I told her it was called barf. Bob objected to this.
"It's puke,'' Lily told us.
I think that word is even grosser.
Vomit might very well be the word in the English language with the most synonyms. Here are a few:
upchuck
barf
vomit
hurl
ralph
purge
puke
hork
buick
spew
regurgitate
throw up
toss your cookies
lose your lunch
toss a sidewalk pizza
tango with the toilet
make modern art in the toilet
have a technicolor yawn
expunge the contents of your stomach
bare your guts to the world
become a multicolored organic fountain
revisit your breakfast
vomit your victuals
drive the porcelain bus
perform peristaltic pyrotechnics
paint the town red.. and green and orange and pink
have to say "that tasted better going down than coming up"
burp to the ninth power
make the janitor get out the ol’ sawdust bucket
find out just how acidic your stomach contents are
greet your guts
pray to the porcelain god
Those are from the Urban Dictionary.
Also, I believe that if you asked most parents, the only vomit they would ever consider touching in this world would be their own kids'. It's just one of those disgusting things you get used to doing when you have kids. Am I wrong?
Comments
This brings back very awful memories of the day my daughter came down with roto virus. She was 18 months old and had a stuffed animal that she couldn't be without. She work up puking the doritos she'd eaten the night before. And she didn't stop so I took her to the doctor who gave her something to stop the vomiting. It didn't stop and by that afternoon we were at the hospital. Puke was all over me and the stuffed animal. It was the worst day of my life. Finally, hours later, I was able to run home and shower and wash the stuffed animal while her dad stayed with her at the hospital. Your story brings back memories.
Posted by: Another mom | March 5, 2008 10:56 PM
Not that I'm an advocate of touching vomit, but I must admit I sifted through my dog's vomit last month after he overdosed on raisins (50 of them), which are toxic to dogs. Those were the instructions of poison control.
And in my son's short three years of life, I've had the lovely pleasure of holding him in my arms as he surprised me with projectile vomitting.
Posted by: anne | March 6, 2008 5:59 PM
i'll never forget my daughter exclaiming, "What's that?" after vomiting on the floor. It's so funny that after spitting up constantly as babies, that at a certain point when they become cognizant, everything is new again.
Posted by: amy | March 7, 2008 11:24 PM