Toddler toothbrushing tantrums
Why, oh why, must the toothbrushing ritual be such a pain?
Elias, who is almost 3, recoils in horror twice a day during toothbrushing time. He flails, he cries, he grabs my hand, he twists, his head moves away from me with a strength that I didn't know he had. 
I have tried everything. Giving him the toothbrush first so that he can do it himself. Singing silly songs as I brush his teeth. Explaining to him rationally (as if he can understand) that he is going to have big boo-boos in his teeth if he doesn't let me brush. Cheerfully telling him we've got to get the "sugar bugs." Getting his older brother to show him how it's painless to brush teeth. Buying him one of those Spin toothbrushes with Thomas the Train on it.
But everyday, it's an ordeal. He works himself up to the point sometimes where he's crying uncontrollably and I want to give up. But every time I want to throw up my hands, I think of the dentist experience that Evan had. Suffice it to say he had more than one cavity. More than two, even. It was a horrific experience, one that Evan ever-so-helpfully tells Elias about.
I'm wondering how other parents deal with their toddler who are violently unwilling to have their teeth brushed, and I'm also wondering what age your kids were when they first went to the dentist, and what you did to make them comfortable. Confession: Elias hasn't gone yet. Gulp.
Comments
What type of toothpaste do you use? We use Thomas the Train. It has florid in it and taste good to him. Also, I let him brush my teeth first and then he lets me brush his. At first he didn't like me doing his teeth either. When he refused I had my husband hold him down while I brushed his teeth. He cried and pitched a huge fit, but he learned that it was going to be done either the hard way or the easy way. After about two weeks of this he finally gave in. All I have to do is call my husband if he refuses and my son instantly opens up.
Posted by: beth | April 22, 2008 11:45 AM
Thanks, Beth. Problem is, Elias ends up eating the toothpaste instead of using it to brush his teeth. But I like your idea of calling in reinforcements!
Posted by: Nancy | April 23, 2008 2:42 PM
Nancy, try using a reward for brushing his teeth. My son will do anything for an m&m. Problem is, he had just brushed his teeth! So we would start the teeth brushing early enough that we could watch Diego for a few minutes or play his favorite game, etc. Tell him you are going to brush his teeth and ask him what he wants to do next. Suggest some activities that are big rewards - my son also likes to find Elmo on the computer. Then, remind him as you are brushing his teeth. The other important point is to shape the behavior. So, at first, he gets the reward for flailing while your husband holds him and you brush his teeth. In a day or two, he needs to do it with less flailing. In another few days, he needs to open his mouth on his own and so on and so on.
I have found, also, with this age, that they will say they want somehting and then when you tell them they have to do something they don't want (brush teeth), they say they don't want the reward. What works with our son is to say, "ok, fine, no Diego" and walk away. DO NOT give him what you just talked about. My son will come to where the reward is and ask for it. At that point, I say, "brush teeth first" or whatever the undesired activity is. Sometimes he isn't happy, but he has learned that sometimes to get what he wants, he has to do thing that aren't his favorite.
Posted by: Amy | April 24, 2008 8:29 AM