I'm with you - my daughter is 6 months into her permit now, and she always leaves it in the glove box of the van. I keep telling her she needs to keep it with her, and yet it stays in the van. We just bought her first car this Saturday, I am hoping that is the incentive she needs to keep it with her, so she can drive either one as the opportunity comes up.

It really sounds more of a lesson for you. Your stepdaughter was honest admitted before being asked she forgot it and you still give her "the speech." She'll learn through natural consequences, such as the one that just happened. If you don't have it with you you can't drive. When you start with the lectures and the I told you so everyone, not just teenagers shut down and get defensive. Try to help before. When you are leaving the house ask her if she remembered it.

Interesting point. I should note that we did have this conversation before,and she was dismissive of it then, too. She doesn't WANT to carry it with her. I'm trying to make her see that if she WANTS to drive (privilege), she NEEDS to carry it with her (responsibility). But you are definitely right: I could have handled it a lot better.

I disagree with Beth. You can't avoid your parental duties just because they are unpleasant sometimes. That leads to kids who never grow up, as Ms. Wallman notes in her blog today.

I didn't interpret Beth's comment as a plea to "avoid parental duties." I thought she was saying it was also my parental duty to say something before, something encouraging, rather than just lecture after the fact.

I think you were right giving her the lecture, contrary to Beth's opinion, is what I meant. Nice thing to see is your daughter was willing to take the responsibility. That's a sign of a kid raised right.

I see what you're saying. I don't think "the lecture" was wrong. I do think I could have been less smug about it.

I have a similar problem with that myself. Sometimes I really have to stifle a desire to say "see, I TOLD YOU SO!!" Ha!

I was not trying to say avoid parental duties, but to just look at them differently. I think that it would be more helpful to try and remind in the beginning. Then if they forget, something along the line of, "well it's too bad you forgot I was really looking forward to helping you I don't think I'll have time again until next week." Instead of, "I told you ...blah, blah, blah" Everyone hates that and it never ends in a productive conversation

its hard to be a step parent especially when your step kids are pushing your patience to the limits. sometimes you get this mean nasty little voice that holds you back from being the best step parent you can be. Jane Massengill helped me in this area, she might be of help to you too

its hard to be a step parent especially when your step kids are pushing your patience to the limits. sometimes you get this mean nasty little voice that holds you back from being the best step parent you can be. Jane Massengill helped me in this area, she might be of help to you too