One big step for our family
"If it's a boy, will he be my step-brother or ... what will he be?"
Let me back up: Christine and I are expecting our first child together in February. She actually told me the day before Father's Day -- plopped the stick with the great big flashing neon "+" sign right in front of me. To be honest, I don't even remember my reaction. I think it might have involved some degree of drooling, squinting and deep breathing.
There is no single "big question" when you find out a baby's on the way. Every question is big. And one of the big questions we had involved my step-daughters. How would they respond? And how can we keep them involved so that they know we are all in one family, more than ever?
Well, so far, they seem to be excited. They want a brother (although we do not know the gender and would be perfectly happy with a girl).
But if it is a boy, is he a step-brother? How does that work?
Technically, I explained the baby would be their half-brother. But I don't like that term. It's perfectly useful for geneticists and whatnot, but not for real human beings. I've got seven brothers and sisters, none "full-blooded," but I wouldn't think of calling them "half-siblings" unless I needed a kidney or something and the doctors needed every little medical detail.
"Brother" or "sister" will do just fine.
In fact, I rarely think of the girls as "steps," except when I'm writing about them. I think of my experience as adjusting to parenthood in progress. I'm respectful of the fact that their biological father is still around and involved in their lives, etc. I told them when they moved into my house that it was a one-story home, so there are no steps.
