We are in the same boat. Our daughter will be 3 in September and she refuses to go on the potty. We tell her that from now on, she has to go on the potty and she tells us no. I have tried just putting panties on her and she would go in her panties. She finally went on the potty, but then we went on vacation the next day so I went back to the pull ups.

When my other daughter was almost 3, one day we told her she was wearing panties and she would have to go on the potty. We put panties on her and she went on the potty from then on.

I think that at 3, the kids understand about going on the potty. At this point, it's just a choice. They're at the age where it's no longer a matter of their body's self control. They know when they have to go and most are physically ready at this age.

Now that we're back from vacation, I'm just going to put on the panties again. No more diapers/pull ups starting tomorrow. I actually told her that today.

Good luck!

3 seemed to be the magic age with us too! My daughter had gone in the potty before that but we really started pushing the issue when she turned 3. When at home, we would have her in panties and practice by putting her on the potty every hour. She caught on very quickly, not saying that we did not have our share of messes which is to be expected, but then one day she woke up and said "Mommy, I don't want to wear pull ups any more" and that was that! So we gently guided her in the right direction, but ultimately the decision was hers. It also helped that she was attending preschool part time where she saw some of the other advanced kids going to the potty on their own.

I would stress the "big girl" aspect of not wearing diapers. You can make a big deal about your daughter ceremoniously passing along her box of diapers to a younger family member or neighbor. "Wow!"It should work. She will be so proud.
Having the chance to participate in certain classes without diapers is great incentive too.
My sister-in-law would give my nephew a few mini M&Ms when he would use the potty. It took no time at all for him!

We had trouble with both our children.
The best advice that worked for us? STOP EVERYTHING!
Stop mentioning it, stop pushing it, everything.
Give it 2-3 weeks -- THEN have a 'naked' weekend. Load her up with juice and salt (to keep her thirsty). Keep a potty in the middle of the family room and just remind her that when she needs to go, she must use the potty.
Don't plan on going anywhere. No diapers, no pull-ups just "big girl underwear."
If she has an accident (she will) do NOT scold her. Clean it up without a word. When she does it on the potty, praise her but don't go overboard.

After she starts going, either throw away the pull-ups or JUST use them at night.

It worked twice for us, good luck!

I definitely don't think going diaper free is being militant. My oldest is now 4 and my middle is 2. Both were out of diapers before the age of 2. My youngest is only 10 weeks so he's still in diapers! Shortly after they begin walking (10 months for both), I stop putting diapers on them. At first they would ask for diapers when they had to go and eventually they started going pee in the backyard (they went their faster than they did on the potty) or asking for the potty.

The only thing to remember is that one of the only things a 3 year old does have some control over is when they go to the bathroom. You might try giving her some control or letting her make choices about her underwear...like which characters she wants...or if she wants to wear them or not. Also possibly choosing which potty she wants to go on (which bathoom, little potty, potty seat on the big potty). If you notice her really holding it and not going all day and then having poor behavior because of it then, personally, I wouldn't sweat it. I would just wait. She is *just* turning 3. There will be plenty of time for gymnastics and dance and all the other programs.

Stick to your guns that's my advice :)

When our oldest was 2 my husband decided he needed to be potty trained. What followed was several months of upset, tears and "accidents", until I finally said enough and refused to continue with the program. Our pediatrician said he'll do it when he's ready so that was the advice we followed, and a few months after his 3rd birthday one day he said "No more diapers Mommy" when I was changing him, and that was that. No accidents, no wet beds, he was done with diapers; we used this approach with our next child as well and he was trained even earlier, probably from seeing Dad and his big brother use the toilet.

Every child (and parent) is so different. It's interesting to read all of the many ways we try to cope. We started potty training with our daughter when she was 3 yrs. I think we could have even started a bit sooner, but I had twin boys only a year old at the time and it just seemed like to much to take on. Anyhow, we tried to be consistent, tried no diapers, tried pull-ups (which were no help), got the special potty and fun underwear. After a lot of trial and error, she just seemed to get it one day (after about 3 whole weeks). From then on she only wanted to go in the "big potty". We're sure not looking forward to potty training our twins...I think we might have to "get militant", as you say, right off the bat!