On one hand, I am glad you stood up to a school and told your kid they do not have to do something that is thrown at them. On the other hand, I am slightly taken aback that you so lightly dismiss abstinence. You, in effect, to your juvenile, it was OK to screw around and have pre-marital sex. Depending on her age, this may not even be legal. It's sad to see culture come to the point where this is taken so lightly that parents put their blessing to it. In my house, we state our belief in abstinence, while at the same time ensuring that our kids are well educated in all aspects. There is no need to make it one or the other, this is a liberal fallacy. Ooops, this is the SunSentinel, bastion of liberal fallacys. Why do I even bother.

Jeff: I certainly have had these conversations with my kids, in more detail than they are comfortable with! I was speaking only about the silly pledge to remain a virgin.

I agree the pledge itself is silly, but the idea of abstinence in and of itself is not silly.

Jeff, I think that you've got it backwards. Democrats are usually more 'live and let live' than Republicans.

Most Democrats don't mind if you teach abstinence AND contraception. But 'teaching' abstinence doesn't mean pressuring people into signing a moral code agreement (or not) in front of your peers. Teaching should be done by the TEACHER - not a religious person brought in to push his/her agenda.

The 'legal' issue is mostly irrelevant in Florida. I was surprised to discover that the age of consent in Florida is 18 WITH an exception that allows people up to 23 to have sex legally with those 16 and older. So most 16 and 17 year olds with boyfriends or girlfriends can have sex legally.

I plan on teaching my two sons to do as I did... wait until you are in a mature, monogamous, committed, loving relationship before being intimate with someone. With people getting married in their late 20's or 30's, waiting til marriage is becoming an unrealistic ideal.

Jeff, I think that you've got it backwards. Democrats are usually more 'live and let live' than Republicans.

Most Democrats don't mind if you teach abstinence AND contraception. But 'teaching' abstinence doesn't mean pressuring people into signing a moral code agreement (or not) in front of your peers. Teaching should be done by the TEACHER - not a religious person brought in to push his/her agenda.

The 'legal' issue is mostly irrelevant in Florida. I was surprised to discover that the age of consent in Florida is 18 WITH an exception that allows people up to 23 to have sex legally with those 16 and older. So most 16 and 17 year olds with boyfriends or girlfriends can have sex legally.

I plan on teaching my two sons to do as I did... wait until you are in a mature, monogamous, committed, loving relationship before being intimate with someone. With people getting married in their late 20's or 30's, waiting til marriage is becoming an unrealistic ideal.

Actually what I meant was, it is usually the liberals in the media and school system that vehemently object to abstinence messages. They are indeed more live and let live, so long as that live and let live invokes no moral codes whatsoever, religious or otherwise. It's all "relative" in the rose-colored world they live in in their heads.

They can stop advocating abstinence when they stop advocating birth control.

If abstinence worked so well you wouldn't see a knocked-up 17 year old being dragged across the country on the campaign trail with her Jesus freak mother.

If abstinence worked so well you wouldn't see a knocked-up 17 year old being dragged across the country on the campaign trail with her Jesus freak mother.

I don't know how effective virginity pledges, jewelry, ceremonies and the like are. All I know is I am 31 and still saving my virginity for marriage because that is my conviction.

Teens rarely if ever see any sexuality between husbands and wives on television or in movies. Boys especially figure they might as well have all the sex they can with their girlfriends. Wives are portrayed as boring and depreciating in value with age.

This is a long article, but the writer sat in on both a Be The One program in a high school AND a Planned Parenthood sex-ed program at a Boys & Girls Clubs. Neither is as black-and-white as they are often made out to be. If you really want to know how they're taught:

http://www.browardpalmbeach.com/2008-01-31/news/simmer-down-kids/

I can't believe that the school is ok with this. It is none of the schools business whether or not your child is having sex and to ask them to sign a pledge is ridiculous. I am not promoting teen sex but, what I am saying is that is the parents obligation to speak with their children and discuss both sides and if the kids are having sex to speak with them about birth control and how to prevent STD's. To have the children sign a pledge is just embarrassing to the child either way everyone will know what you signed or didn't. How about the schools just concentrate on giving the children a better education and keeping them safe.

and Jeff, I assume you remained a virgin until your wedding night, right?

Nope, I didn't, and neither did my wife.

It's a common fallacy to think that just because yourself, or someone else did it, it makes it right.

I also wrecked a car, and drank while driving. Does that preclude me from telling my kids not to do the same?

Good for you, Lois.

I am disappointed to see that someone would equate premarital sex to something as terrible a car accident (which for the most part cannot be prevented) and drunk driving (which is illegal).

I think that it is time to remove this stigma from sex in general and focus more on engaging in relationships that are healthy and appropriate for our children.

BMP: You so completely miss my point, I hardly know what to say.

I do agree we should focus on healthy and appropriate relationships for our kids 100%. We seem to disagree that adolescent sex is healthy and appropriate.

"I am disappointed to see that someone would equate premarital sex to something as terrible a car accident (which for the most part cannot be prevented) and drunk driving (which is illegal).

I think that it is time to remove this stigma from sex in general and focus more on engaging in relationships that are healthy and appropriate for our children."

I work for Be the One and I thought you might like to know that we do not pressure students to sign pledge cards. The card is presented as an option for all students and they are encouraged to sign one if they want to.

I agree that an abstinence pledge made under duress is worthless, which is why our presenters tell the students to take the pledge card home over the weekend; think about all they have learned and then if they decide that abstinence won't positively benefit their lives, we tell them to throw or give the card away.

The pledge isn’t magic, as your Columbia study illustrates, but abstinence is 100% effective while the much esteemed condom isn’t.

I would rather my child pledge to something that is 100% effective over something that isn’t. Condoms haven’t been proven effective against HPV, herpes, and syphilis. The jury is still out on Chlamydia. But, hey, don’t take my word for it, read the report from the NIH, CDC and NIAID http://www.ccv.org/downloads/pdf/CDC_Condom_Study.pdf Oh, wait, I’m sure you already have.

I’m sure you and other parents wouldn’t be so cavalier about your children’s choices if you truly understood the risks involved in premarital and teenage sex.