Talking race with kids
Something surprising happened the other day: my son commented on someone’s race.
He’s just over 2, but I had this fantasy it would have taken longer than this. That difficult conversation of “what is racism” must be just around the corner.
Here’s how it went:
The four of us were in the car, packing up after a trip to Fort Lauderdale beach. Just to make small talk, I asked Alexander what he saw out of the window.
“A tall, white man,” he said.
“Oh,” I said.
My wife and I looked at one another. Well, isn’t that interesting, we said.
Our sons are biracial. I’m white (although I wasn’t the man Alexander was referring to) and my wife is African American. We know from a certain Democratic presidential candidate how complicated this racial experience can be for a kid. They are likely to benefit from our new societal sensibilities about growing up with both black and white parents, but it's never going to be easy.
Still, despite all the talk about race this campaign season and the major role it plays in my life, I’m always queasy at the topic. Sure, I talk about race frequently, but it’s never easy. And when it comes to kids, I don’t know when it’s confusing and when it’s helpful to raise it. (Rowan is only 10 months, so I’ve got some time there.)
So when did your kids first ask about race? What did you say?
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