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Give your advice to a first-time dad
Well, here goes everything.
If all goes according to plan, the next time I report in this space, I will be a biological father for the first time.
I've been a stepfather for the last 19 months, but it's not the same thing. I wasn't there for their births, for their first words or their first steps. I didn't see them off to school for the first time ever, and I missed maybe 100 dance recitals and performances. I've done what I can, screwed up plenty, tried to understand and tried to get them to understand.
I feel as though I have evolved so much in the last two years. I'm no longer the clueless bachelor stepping into fatherhood, but neither do I feel ready for what's coming in just three days. This tiny little boy is about to show up and change everything I've ever known.
Can I confess to being nervous? (Could I possibly deny it?)
One of the things I hear all the time from parents is that they wish they knew then what they know now: about parenthood, about being a father, about life, about children, about what makes a marriage strong...
Well, you can't go back in time, but you can throw a little bit of your hard-earned wisdom in my direction.
So let me have it. Give me one piece of advice, a piece of advice you wish you'd had before you became a dad for the first time.
Gretchen Day-Bryant has a son in high school and a daughter in middle school. She’s lived to tell about the struggles of juggling little kids and work...
Joy Oglesby has an infant daughter and a sister 13 years her junior, whom she babies to the now-adult...
Cindy Kent Fort Lauderdale mother of three. Her kids span in ages from teenager to 20s...
Rafael Olmeda and his wife welcomed their first son in Feb. 2009, and he's helping raise two teenage stepdaughters...
Lois Solomon lives in Boca Raton with her husband and three daughters...
Anne Vasquez is the Online Editor in charge of overseeing SunSentinel.com. She is the mother of a 5-year-old boy and a newborn daughter.
Georgia East is the parent of a five-year-old girl, who came into the world weighing 1 pound, 13 ounces...
Brittany Wallman is the mother of Creed, 13, and Lily, 6, and is married...
Chris Tiedje is the Social Media Coordinator, and father of two boys and a girl all under the age of seven.
Comments
pick your battles well. Not everything is worth the fight with kids
Posted by: joy | February 2, 2009 4:55 PM
Relax and enjoy having this new child. Keep a baby book with videos to enjoy later. My best advice is to make sure that the child's vaccines are spaced (not more than 3 or 4 at a time), and that you have a really good, caring pediatrician.
Posted by: DeeDee | February 2, 2009 5:44 PM
Remember that while it's not all about you or your wife anymore, you both still need time to yourselves. Give each other this time, get a babysitter and let the laundry and chores wait. There's a good line from a Steve Martin movie...there's no way to be a perfect parent but there are a million ways to be a good one. Congratulations!
Posted by: Cathy | February 3, 2009 10:30 AM
Take time to teach them something everyday. From how to smile, to solve an equation. They will return the favor ten fold.
Posted by: Jimmy | February 3, 2009 10:56 AM
its a bit early but watch if the child is headstong or not if not tlc if so always remember that discipline without affection is sterile
Posted by: robert rodriguez | February 3, 2009 1:36 PM
Split the job of parenting with your wife 50/50. Knowing my husband can do everything I can do puts him 100% at ease with his daughter. In turn, his daughter knows she can rely on her Daddy to care for her in every way. And finally, I can rest easy knowing if God forbid something happened to me, our baby is in the best possible, most capable hands. This raises Daddy to hero status in my eyes! Enjoy every minute and just know that you will one day be able to look back and laugh..
Posted by: Michelle | February 3, 2009 4:43 PM
We're in the hospital room right now. Baby Leo is feeding in momma's arms. I just changed him and quieted him. I read these comments to my wife. We love the Steve Martin quote.
It all seems so unreal. What a beautiful day. I will treasure it always.
Posted by: Rafael | February 6, 2009 12:09 AM
The only advice I can think of is incredibly obvious (and maybe overworked). They don't stay that size for very long. Enjoy 'em while you can.
Once they're grown and out of the house, yeah, they're still a part of your life, but, NOT as big a part - ever again.
And they're a helluva lot more durable than you think. Don't worry, be happy. Have fun with them.
Posted by: geo. | February 8, 2009 8:52 PM
Just keep thinking of your family before yourself, as you apparently already do.Everything will go fine.
Posted by: j jackson | February 25, 2009 2:02 PM
The one piece of advice I can offer is simple, cherish each moment in their lives as much as possible. Each moment in their lives occurs but once in their life time. Be funny, laugh with them, be silly, play with them. IN the end, the fondest memories we would like our childredn to have of us fathers would be something like this, "man, I remember the best time I had with my Dad was when..." and you want there to more than one! Good luck to you, Fatherhood is an awesome thing!
Posted by: JohnFurieZ | November 9, 2009 5:35 PM