Every once in a while, technology/programming/computer gurus come up with something that a teen-ager would not find cool. It's about time that happened, after we were subjected to XBox 360.

That new thing is here, I think. It's called Google Latitude.

You enable it on a cell phone and it tells you where the cell phone user is, via Google Maps. It's advertised as a way to track your friends' movements.

Um, yeah. I certainly do consider my 13-year-old son to be my "friend,'' and yes, thank you, I'd LOVE to track his movements!

To me it sounds like a higher-tech version of the good old house-arrest ankle bracelet. If your kid walks out the door, you can find out. Like a good ankle bracelet should, this one would tell you the coordinates of your child's location, so you can apprehend him or her immediately.

I went to the website, and had it send a text message to my son's phone. You have to have permission from your child to set their phone up as a homing signal. But really, folks, is "permission'' really necessary from someone who relies on you for nourishment?

I don't spy on Creed. But I like to know where my friends are, especially, say, two hours after I drop one of them off in western suburbia at some kind of "church festival.''

Is that way too 2009 of me?