My kids aren't old and mean enough yet to hurl the I hate you!s around. But I know it's coming.

When your kids are young, it's tempting to start dreaming about the future, and the house you'll

Lily pouting.

But these are the thoughts you have when your kids are young, and still nice to you. We mustn't forget that it's probably not going to last. And if you try to remain friends with your child through their teen years, you'll probably do some really terrible parenting.

My 6-year-old daughter Lily gave me a good dose of this reality a couple weeks ago. Lily is a real Momma's Girl. She writes me letters, she makes me homemade books that are stapled together. She draws pictures of us together, with lots of hearts. She's a love bug.

So she gave me one of her love notes. It said "You are the best mommy in the world. I love you.'' The word "love'' was in a heart with two birds, and she signed it. She also stuck a "sealed with a kiss'' sticker on it.

I put her to bed, and was rearranging some of her toys when I found a slip of paper that had fallen behind her toy shelf.

Here's what it said: "My heart is broken because of a big fat meany.'' It had some pen swirls, and said "ugly.''

I read it out loud, and she knew she was busted. I asked her who she was calling a "big, fat meany'' and she said, "uhh, my invisible friend.'' Great answer, but an obvious big, fat lie. So she admitted she'd written it when I had yelled at her for something.

Mentally, I extrapolated this to 10 years from now, or 15, or 20. We're going to have actual fights, I realized. Am I ready for this?

The best way to approach it, I think, is to simply remember: Act like a parent, not a friend.