What can we do about "sexting" teens?

All this talk about "sexting" has me concerned.

A recent article on SunSentinel.com tells the stories of several Central Florida teens who have been labeled sex offenders because they shared naked pictures of their teenage ex-girlfriends over their cell phones.

Where to begin?

While I have been concerned about my teenage stepdaughters and their fondness for various gizmos (the iPod, the cell phone, the digital camera, the cell phone with the digital camera), it hasn't occurred to me that they might take pictures that might come back to haunt them.

Yes, I am concerned about the difference between stupid kids sending inappropriate text messages and predatory criminals exploiting children to satisfy their lusts. They are, in my mind, separate issues. The predatory criminals are a law enforcement issue. To a greater extent, the kids being stupid kids - well, that's a parenting issue.

I honestly don't think our kids recognize the permanence of these digital photos. Back in the day (you remember back in the day, right?) we had film, and we had to take the film out to be developed, and you knew a stranger's eyes would see each and every image you shot. Casual, personal nudie shots, while not unheard of, were far from normal. At least, the potential for embarrassment was very real.

Not anymore. Now these images can be deleted with the touch of a button. The problem, of course, is that they can be copied just as easily. And forwarded. To e-mail boxes. And cell phones. And next thing you know, that photo you took just for your boyfriend is making the rounds at your school. Or worse. Ask Vanessa Hudgens. The High School Musical star was mortified in 2007 when her nude pictures surfaced on the Internet. And she's not one of the "bad girls" of Hollywood. She's the one our teens are watching, and the one whose error in judgment we need to explain.

So what can we tell our kids about the dangers of "sexting" (not from a criminal law point of view, but from a healthy childhood point of view)? Read on for some tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Tips for parents:

Talk to your kids about what they are doing in cyberspace, just as you should talk to them honestly about relationships and sexual issues.
Know who your kids are communicating with online.
Set limits on electronic communication. [In our home, the cell phones are charging on school nights from 10 p.m. on, no exceptions].
Be aware of what your teens are posting online. If they won't let you see it, they shouldn't be putting it on the Internet.
Set expectations. Let them know what's appropriate and what's not. Reinforce those expectations from time to time.

That's not an exhaustive list, by any stretch. In any discussion like this, every parent will rely on his or her faith and values, for example.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy also offers tips for teens to think about before they hit "send." I'll boil it down to this: Assume the photo will get out. It will be made public. You will not be able to hide it. Your parents will see it. All your friends will see it. Total strangers will see it.

Maybe that's fearmongering, but how likely are you to even take such a picture if you know everyone will see it?

POSTED IN: Rafael Olmeda (91), Sex (12), Step-parenting (48), Teen (105)

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Comments

Now that I'm old and fat I WISH I had the nude photos I allowed to be taken of me in my 20's.

There needs to be a middle ground more lenient than prosecuting these kids as sex offenders, and harsher on the Puritanical peers who are pecking at them until they commit suicide.

I suggest a technological solution: require cell phone providers to implement a "digital copyright enforcement" or encryption, that prevents retransmission, copying, or even backup in clear form, of any image transmitted by cell phone, unless the sender over-rides it on an image by image basis.

Obviously, kids need to be warned against exposing themselves, until better protections are in place, but impoverishing their families, and ruining their lives with legal proceedings benefits no one but trial lawyers.

Posted by: Tack | March 12, 2009 8:48 AM

I know as a parent I try to be as involved with my child as possible, who they are hanging out with, what thoes kids are doing, what their parents allow them to do and try to make the guidlines one that provide a half way safe environment for my child. I have come to realize reguardless of how much you do there has to be that portion of trust towards your child and remembering no matter how good they have been in the past (remembering to pick and choose your battles) that peer pressure is a battle in itself. These kids change day to day. All you can do is try to communicate with them, listen when they talk and if they dont, try to get something out of them. Know the user names and passwords to myspace and facebook and remember they have access on their ipod touch as well. The more you listen, be there and do alot of research on your end you can be more prepared to help steer your child in the opposite direction of any oncoming peer pressured events. Now by 14 kids are drinking, having sex and etc. Weather its they dont get the guidance or attention at home, or they need to be the center of attention, all you know is that you cant control others but you can try to steer your child in the right direction as long as the parent makes the effort. As for the parents that want their kid to be popular, and stand out, these are the ones that have the parties at their houses, provide them with alchol and pick the other kids up when they are drunk and sober them at their houses until time to go home, shame on you. Your too damn old to care weather you are accepted by these kids. Get a $#@% LIFE and quit making things worse. If you need self acceptance join a support group but quit making things worse for the parents that are trying to fight the fight to keep our kids safe in school and out.!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: CONCERNEDBOCAMOM | May 17, 2009 8:26 AM