What can we do about "sexting" teens?
All this talk about "sexting" has me concerned.
A recent article on SunSentinel.com tells the stories of several Central Florida teens who have been labeled sex offenders because they shared naked pictures of their teenage ex-girlfriends over their cell phones.
Where to begin?
While I have been concerned about my teenage stepdaughters and their fondness for various gizmos (the iPod, the cell phone, the digital camera, the cell phone with the digital camera), it hasn't occurred to me that they might take pictures that might come back to haunt them.
Yes, I am concerned about the difference between stupid kids sending inappropriate text messages and predatory criminals exploiting children to satisfy their lusts. They are, in my mind, separate issues. The predatory criminals are a law enforcement issue. To a greater extent, the kids being stupid kids - well, that's a parenting issue.
I honestly don't think our kids recognize the permanence of these digital photos. Back in the day (you remember back in the day, right?) we had film, and we had to take the film out to be developed, and you knew a stranger's eyes would see each and every image you shot. Casual, personal nudie shots, while not unheard of, were far from normal. At least, the potential for embarrassment was very real.
Not anymore. Now these images can be deleted with the touch of a button. The problem, of course, is that they can be copied just as easily. And forwarded. To e-mail boxes. And cell phones. And next thing you know, that photo you took just for your boyfriend is making the rounds at your school. Or worse. Ask Vanessa Hudgens. The High School Musical star was mortified in 2007 when her nude pictures surfaced on the Internet. And she's not one of the "bad girls" of Hollywood. She's the one our teens are watching, and the one whose error in judgment we need to explain.
So what can we tell our kids about the dangers of "sexting" (not from a criminal law point of view, but from a healthy childhood point of view)? Read on for some tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.
- Talk to your kids about what they are doing in cyberspace, just as you should talk to them honestly about relationships and sexual issues.
- Know who your kids are communicating with online.
- Set limits on electronic communication. [In our home, the cell phones are charging on school nights from 10 p.m. on, no exceptions].
- Be aware of what your teens are posting online. If they won't let you see it, they shouldn't be putting it on the Internet.
- Set expectations. Let them know what's appropriate and what's not. Reinforce those expectations from time to time.
That's not an exhaustive list, by any stretch. In any discussion like this, every parent will rely on his or her faith and values, for example.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy also offers tips for teens to think about before they hit "send." I'll boil it down to this: Assume the photo will get out. It will be made public. You will not be able to hide it. Your parents will see it. All your friends will see it. Total strangers will see it.
Maybe that's fearmongering, but how likely are you to even take such a picture if you know everyone will see it?
Gretchen Day-Bryant has a son in high school and a daughter in middle school. She’s lived to tell about the struggles of juggling little kids and work.
Joy Oglesby has a preschooler...
Cindy Kent Fort Lauderdale mother of three. Her kids span in ages from teenager to 20s.
Rafael Olmeda and his wife welcomed their first son in Feb. 2009, and he's helping raise two teenage stepdaughters.
Lois Solomon lives in Boca Raton with her husband and three daughters.
Georgia East is the parent of a five-year-old girl, who came into the world weighing 1 pound, 13 ounces.
Brittany Wallman is the mother of Creed, 15, and Lily, 7, and is married to a journalist, Bob Norman. She covers Broward County government, which is filled with almost as much drama as the Norman household. Almost.
Chris Tiedje is the Social Media Coordinator and the father of a 7-year-old girl, and two boys ages 4 and 3.
Kyara Lomer Camarena has a 2-year-old son, Copelan, and a brand new baby. 
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