Grandparents: Good intentions, bad advice?
He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.
Yes, I tried to explain that giving water to a newborn is not generally a good idea. We talked to our pediatrician about Leo's formula because he seemed to be spitting up a bit. We are following our pediatrician's advice, which brings us back to rejecting my mother's advice.
And then Leo has another hiccup.
He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.
It worked for me when I was an infant. My mother raised five kids, thank you very much, and did it without all this expert advice from the expert experts who are now telling her, through me, that she was wrong to raise her kids that way.
Is that the rub? When my mom gives advice, do my wife and I take it to mean she thinks we don't know what we're doing? And when we reject that advice, does my mother think we're criticizing the way she raised her kids? Honestly? Yes, and yes.
So my wife and I need to realize that my mom's advice is not a criticism of our parenting methods, and my mom needs to realize that a lot has changed in the 39 years since I was Leo's age. Breastfeeding, once discouraged, is now recommended. Letting a baby sleep on his tummy? Great idea then, bad idea now. Those car seats that "thou shalt" place your child in now? Didn't even exist until relatively recently.
The issue pops up on my wife's side of the family, too. Leo cries too much and won't sleep through the night? There's a cure for that, my wife's grandmother insists. Applesauce. Just a teeny bit of applesauce will do wonders, she assures us. It should be noted that the formula made today is dramatically different from what was available in 1950, so advice that may have been completely understandable then is now unecessary at best, unhealthy at worst.
I found a few good suggestions on this subject on this Web site, which offers this recommendation:
If your baby's grandparents are having a hard time understanding how parenting, medical, and safety advice have changed, consider inviting them to one of your baby's visits to his pediatrician. That way, they can hear that advice firsthand, ask questions, and learn to better support your methods of raising your baby.
Good advice. I wonder what Mom's doing Saturday?
Oh, and yes, that's Leo in the pic. He's doing great. And those hiccups? Yeah, normal. Turns out they bother us more than they bother him. How do I know? He's a baby. If they bothered him, he'd be crying. Okay, Mom?
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