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Guest blog: The perfect catch-all for cranky kids
McMommy has tales.
Short and long ones about traveling with kids, maternity fashions gone wrong, taking family pictures and putting together a color-blind outfit like Kate Gosselin of TV's Jon & Kate Plus 8.
The McMommy Chronicles tracks the 30-something mother of two who says she has no clue how to parent, but tries to anyway. Here's her take on the most-used parenting excuse:
While on vacation recently, I dared to make the thoughtless remark of "OK kids, five more minutes in the pool and then we'll get out to clean up for dinner, OK?"
Have you ever made that remark to a young child?
If not, you better duck and cover, my friend. Because first you will get pummeled with "WHAT?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! MomIDon'tWannaaaaa!! Waaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! I'M NOT HUNGRY!!!! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! No! No! NO!!! YOU ARE SO MEAN!"
And then they will proceed to throw the World’s Biggest Tantrum right there before your very eyes.
And as you are pulling your water-logged children out of the pool, kicking and screaming and limbs flailing, you look around to everyone and mouth one of the most famous parental phrases in parenting history: "I'm sorry. They are so tired!"
If you are a parent, you cannot sit there with a straight face and tell me you have never used that line before. It truly is the perfect catch-all for any childhood tantrum thrown in public.
The kicker? It doesn't even matter if it's true or not.
My children could have just woken up from a nap 20 minutes ago, and I'll bust that line out if they have a meltdown.
I don't care.
Because uttering this phrase:
A.) Causes others around you to nod their heads sympathetically instead of throwing looks of disgust your way.
B.) Gives off the vibe "I totally know what I'm doing as a parent" and you look in complete control of the situation.
When in actuality you have no flipping clue as to why your kids have turned into little monsters.
Of course, there are variations of the famous phrase:
• “Someone’s ready for a nap!”
• “He’s just cranky because he went to bed late last night.”
• “Early bedtime for you tonight, Mr. FussyPants!”
All work remarkably well.
It’s also the one phrase that can be used no matter what the age of the child. You can be a parent for a mere couple of hours and if that baby starts wailing, throw out a simple: “Oh, you must be so tired after the morning you’ve had!”
Nice, you are off the hook. Everyone around you will murmur “Look at her parenting instincts! Oh, she is such a natural!” and applause, applause . . . you come off looking like a mothering genius.
And truly, isn’t that all we ever want as parents? To come across looking like we know what we’re doing when in reality, we are just flying by the seat of our spit-up stained pants.
Next time, I’ll cover the second-most famous saying in the history of parental excuses: “He’s just overtired now.” (What does that even mean? No clue, but guess who just said it 20 minutes ago?)
Gretchen Day-Bryant has a son in high school and a daughter in middle school. She’s lived to tell about the struggles of juggling little kids and work...
Joy Oglesby has an infant daughter and a sister 13 years her junior, whom she babies to the now-adult...
Cindy Kent Fort Lauderdale mother of three. Her kids span in ages from teenager to 20s...
Rafael Olmeda and his wife welcomed their first son in Feb. 2009, and he's helping raise two teenage stepdaughters...
Lois Solomon lives in Boca Raton with her husband and three daughters...
Anne Vasquez loves to worry, or so her husband says...
Georgia East is the parent of a five-year-old girl, who came into the world weighing 1 pound, 13 ounces...
Brittany Wallman is the mother of Creed, 13, and Lily, 6, and is married...
Chris Tiedje is the Social Media Coordinator, and father of three blonde, blue-eyed kids all under six years old.
Comments
McMommy, you are the bomb! And no matter what you write, it seems to flow effortlessly. And this my friends, is the reason people will be coming back for more. You are a joy to read. And I hope one day you actually get paid to do this. I have loved your stories from the moment I found your blog. Bravo mommy. Glad the Sun Sentinel thinks you have something special too. That means that they have taste. Kudos to you both.
Posted by: Leslie | May 29, 2009 9:00 AM
Have you been following me around? How did you fiure out my Perfect Excuse? ;-) You rock, McMommy.
Posted by: Aunt LoLo | May 29, 2009 9:07 AM
Nice work Sis - you sure do know how to make me laugh in the mornings! You're the best "30-something" writer I know.... :)
Posted by: McSister | May 29, 2009 9:12 AM
Oh, how true!! :) I can't even number the times I've said those words! Great post!
Posted by: Carole Adams | May 29, 2009 9:15 AM
The Moms&Dads blog appreciates McMommy sharing her witty insights.
You can look forward to more posts from McMommy here.
Posted by: Joy | May 29, 2009 9:18 AM
LOL How true! It IS the catch all isn't it? Well done!
Posted by: Karen | May 29, 2009 9:18 AM
Hehehehe, Yes, we all have used that. I also use the "Daddy kept you up to late".
Posted by: WeaselMomma | May 29, 2009 9:21 AM
This excuse totally works on cranky husbands too! Especially when they've been forced to go shopping with their wives.
Great job McMommy! Looking forward to more of your guest posts out here!
Posted by: Auds at Barking Mad | May 29, 2009 9:23 AM
Hilarious... and of course, so very true. I say it all the time!
Posted by: Loukia | May 29, 2009 9:24 AM
I love, love, LOVE McMommy!
Posted by: Jodi | May 29, 2009 9:29 AM
AuntLoLo: The "He/She's Tired" Excuse is golden. I'm thinking of using it to explain away my outbursts.
Posted by: Joy | May 29, 2009 9:32 AM
Oh, this is SO true. This phrase makes you look completely in tune with what your child needs, even if in truth you have NO IDEA why he/she is acting like a demon.
Hilarious, McMommy!
Posted by: bessie.viola | May 29, 2009 9:33 AM
I TOTALLY used that line yesterday... and the day before..and the day before that..well, you get the idea!
Posted by: Karen | May 29, 2009 9:34 AM
Another great post from the uber fabulous McMommy!
Isn't it ashame we, as adults, can't use the same lines when we are cranky?
Posted by: Wendi | May 29, 2009 9:39 AM
I've used this excuse and my baby's only 9 months old!
Posted by: Sara | May 29, 2009 9:41 AM
That is rather funny! We hear that all the time as the ones with no little ones.
Posted by: Imjustagirl | May 29, 2009 9:41 AM
I use the over tired one to this day with my 15 year old. Hey we do what we have to, to save face.
Posted by: Kathy | May 29, 2009 9:53 AM
Fabulous! What a mommy genius! Aren't we all...just flying by the seat of our pants?!?
Love ya McMommy, never were truer words spoken!
Posted by: Kristi | May 29, 2009 10:09 AM
McMommy,
You always know exactly what to say...I have used phrases like that one MANY times and my little boy just turned 2. At least I know I'm not alone in doing this. Thank you McMommy for always telling it like it is!! You're AWESOME!!!
Posted by: Christine | May 29, 2009 10:17 AM
So true! It is amazing how it works like a charm every time! Great post McMommy - you have done it again!
Posted by: Danielle | May 29, 2009 10:30 AM
Use that ALL the time....Either that or they are hungry. Daily reader of McMommy!
Posted by: Anne | May 29, 2009 10:32 AM
Who is better than you!!! No one!!!! Can't wait for your next article!!!!!
Posted by: Bridget | May 29, 2009 10:35 AM
You mean that ISN'T true? They aren't just tired??? I'm so shocked! I'm sure I mean it when I say it...ok, maybe not. You are right tho - it works!
Posted by: Sticky | May 29, 2009 11:19 AM
True story. I love that it applies to all ages. In fact I have been known to tell my husband I'm overtired after a particularly snappy comment ;-)
Posted by: Elisa | May 29, 2009 11:22 AM
I use that excuse at least weekly--okay, maybe bi-weekly--Okay being honest at least every other day, or more....yeah...
Posted by: kd@bright-n-madi.com | May 29, 2009 11:27 AM
YAY, McMommy! You made it big time - hopefully we'll be seeing more of your thoughtful insight on this site!
Posted by: Margaret | May 29, 2009 11:28 AM
Oh McMommy, this post was hysterical and oh so true! You leave us wanting to hear more!!!
Posted by: Reeve | May 29, 2009 11:30 AM
Love it! How true and how funny!
Posted by: Susan | May 29, 2009 11:32 AM
I use it all the time, I must be a natural cause I never even thought of it like that! My other super-excuse, he is just out of sorts, his schedule is all messed up! :-)
Posted by: Allison | May 29, 2009 11:43 AM
Oh so true! I say it all the time!
Posted by: Beth | May 29, 2009 11:43 AM
I use it all the time, I must be a natural cause I never even thought of it like that! My other super-excuse, he is just out of sorts, his schedule is all messed up! :-)
Posted by: Allison | May 29, 2009 11:43 AM
Thanks for the parenting advice...you know I am going to use that the first time the kid cries!
Posted by: TRS | May 29, 2009 11:50 AM
Love it, I'll have to use if it Niecey throws another fit in public with me! You are the best McMommy =)!
Posted by: Microblogologist | May 29, 2009 11:53 AM
Ahh...refreshing honesty. That's what keeps me coming back for more. I heart McMommy!
Now, do you have any advise for potty training....?
Posted by: Chance | May 29, 2009 12:01 PM
Great post - I do it ALL the time, but never thought about how it's my "go-to" excuse for my children's attention grabbing behavior! Great job McMommy!!!!
Posted by: Teri | May 29, 2009 12:19 PM
You are totally right with the excuses we give and the reasons we give them... wouldn't you just become instant BFF with a mom if the next time you saw a kid having a temper tantrum she shrugged her shoulders and said, "No clue!" Love it when women feel comfortable admitting their flaws, perhaps that is why blogging is so attractive to me...it is the one place where we tend to let our hair down... though their are still blogs out their with perfect people putting on their perfect faces.
I love honesty and I love imperfect people...
Posted by: LifeAtTheCircus | May 29, 2009 12:24 PM
I just used it last night....made me look like Mom of The Year!
Posted by: Terri_A | May 29, 2009 1:31 PM
It does make you seem calm and in control.
Posted by: michele renee | May 29, 2009 1:50 PM
It does make you seem calm and in control.
Posted by: michele renee | May 29, 2009 1:50 PM
McMommy Rulz! The line I use is "So sorry, he is just over-stimulated." I actually had to say it today to the other moms at the playground to excuse his tears and tantrum for leaving.
Posted by: Kiki | May 29, 2009 2:30 PM
I too just said it to my kids last night and they are 10 and 7. Of course it throws them into even more hysterics, but hey I'm sure they really were tired ;).
Posted by: Monica | May 29, 2009 2:33 PM
It also works for 12 year olds...just so you know. hahah
McMommy, you rule. You always know just what to say when we need that boost.
Posted by: Kellyn | May 29, 2009 2:48 PM
I used this just last night explaining to my 11 year old daughter's coach why she was being a baby. And I actually have a child that gets over-stimulated-verified as an actual syndrome by his doctor. I use that to try and convince myself and others that he is just not a spoiled brat.
Posted by: Amy | May 29, 2009 2:53 PM
I actually have recorded tape of my mom at my 3rd birthday (30 years ago) saying, "SOMEone's ready for bed!" And then I cry. Yup...age old, and we'll probably use it until the day they move out.
Great post!!
Posted by: Merrie | May 29, 2009 3:14 PM
Merrie: How wonderful to have a recording of your mom using the catch-all phrase.
You need to get it converted to an mp3 and then sell it so we moms (and dads) can repeat ourselves without hurting the vocal chords.
Posted by: Joy | May 29, 2009 3:39 PM
LOVE THIS POST! AND WE LOVE MCMOMMY!!!!
Posted by: Christy | May 29, 2009 3:43 PM
I love it, McMommy!! This is my favorite, & I also use it against the kids: "Oh, if you're acting this way, you must need a nap/early bedtime", so that they'll settle down!! Keep 'em coming!
Posted by: Laura | May 29, 2009 4:22 PM
I love it, McMommy! Does this work for adults too! Can I just act like a jerk & then say, "Early bedtime for me, b/c I am Mrs. Cranky Pants!" and come-off as a total non-jerk?!
Posted by: shelley | May 29, 2009 4:27 PM
Applause! Applause! You ARE a mothering genius!
Posted by: Fawn | May 29, 2009 4:40 PM
I just used the "she's overtired" excuse today in front of my inlaws...you have unlocked the secret code McMommy!! Great post!
Posted by: Becks | May 29, 2009 4:54 PM
mcmommy you are the best!
love you!!
Posted by: Melissa | May 29, 2009 6:13 PM
Is it a bad sign if my kids say that about me?!
Posted by: Marinka | May 29, 2009 9:26 PM
Is it a bad sign if my kids say that about me?!
Posted by: Marinka | May 29, 2009 9:26 PM
I'm a new mommy, and already I use that line on a daily basis!
Posted by: Lauri | May 29, 2009 10:02 PM
Can I use that line about my husband when he's being a Mr. CrankyPants? "Sorry- it's past his naptime..."
Posted by: Happy Hour Sue | May 29, 2009 10:03 PM
Now that I know this, my child is destined to become known as THE MOST EXHAUSTED CHILD ON THE PLANET as we enter his terrible twos.
I just hope Child Protective Services doesn't come knowing to investigate reports of abusive sleep deprivation.
Posted by: bejewell | May 29, 2009 10:15 PM
I already use that line a ton with a 7 month old- I can only imagine how often I will use it in the years to come!
Posted by: Melissa | May 30, 2009 12:26 AM
Oh, McMommy, I use those three little words at least 47 times a week.
I totally get it.
Jessica
Posted by: The Basket Case Mommy | May 30, 2009 12:58 AM
I use it all the time too. It's especially useful for leaving events you don't want to be at
Posted by: Kelly | May 30, 2009 1:49 AM
Right on McMommy. I love reading your stories! Keep it up :)
Posted by: TC's mom | May 30, 2009 8:08 AM
I love your blog, you make me laugh out loud....and it is so scary how true every word you write is!!
Posted by: Marie | May 30, 2009 9:31 AM
McMommy I see a book in your future. You are today's Erma Bombeck, love those books!
Posted by: Jennifer | May 30, 2009 10:46 AM
Heck this works for ANY age... My 63 year old mother said it about me the other day. I'm still trying to catch up on sleep for the past 5 months of having a new baby in the house.
Love your blog McMommy!!
Posted by: Maevey | May 30, 2009 2:25 PM
You know it girlfriend. Why don't they teach us this stuff when we're at the hospital right after delivery? I never saw the paper in the little "go home folder" that said, "essential things you must know but will never be told about parenting". I need to read it all on blogs!
Posted by: Texan Mama | May 30, 2009 7:50 PM
McMommy you rock! You bring a smile to my face every time!
Posted by: Lisa | May 30, 2009 8:32 PM
So true - I've used it at least 10 times today already!
Posted by: Les | May 30, 2009 11:48 PM
I'm overtired too - can I use it as my excuse as well?
Posted by: Adrian | June 1, 2009 10:20 PM
McMommy, if you wrote a book, I'd be first in line to buy it. You have a natural talent for sarcastic humor, and I always love reading your posts! I'm going to start saving all your parenting advice to look back on when my Mommy days get here! :)
Posted by: LadyBuggin | June 3, 2009 10:50 AM
McMommy, if you wrote a book, I'd be first in line to buy it. You have a natural talent for sarcastic humor, and I always love reading your posts! I'm going to start saving all your parenting advice to look back on when my Mommy days get here! :)
Posted by: LadyBuggin | June 3, 2009 10:50 AM