Like every couple on the planet, my wife and I sometimes argue. Usually, I’m wrong. But that’s not the point here.

It used to be just our problem. We could sulk for hours, even days, or carry on that time-honored traditional of low-level marital guerilla warfare in which complex emotional problems are reduced to some tiny personal habit such as how you drink coffee or whether you plop into bed (random examples, I swear).

But alas, this is not a marital blog, it’s a parenting one. So what’s the point, you ask.
Kids.

Yes, fighting – arguing – in front of them.

We all say we won’t do it. But, honestly, how can you avoid it?

And does it make sense to shield your children from all conflict? Don’t we need to learn how to handle conflict?

This came up the other day. Once again, for the record, I was wrong, but the subject matter is immaterial. We disagreed about something. The kids were playing in the living room as we tossed verbal volleys back and forth. I thought about saying, “Let’s talk about this when the kids aren’t around.” But, really, when is that? An hour or so before we go to sleep? And that would break another oft-quoted rule, “Never go to sleep angry.”

So we kept at it a bit. Nothing major. But I could tell that the boys – ages 3 and 19 months – noticed something. They quieted down and, oddly enough, let us have a conversation, or an argument.

We stopped shortly thereafter, although the issue remained unresolved. We both sensed, without saying it, that it probably wasn’t right to argue in front of the kids.

This got me thinking: When is it OK to argue in front of little ones?