We were waiting in line to meet the teacher before school started. The child and mother ahead of us were introducing themselves to the teacher. The teacher asked how the little 4th grade girl was planning on getting home from school. "Oh, cross the street, look both ways and keep walking until I get to my house". There was silence. Clearly she had done it before. The teacher made a comment about getting someone to walk with her that went the same way and everyone was quiet. And we passed judgement on that mother. Why?

For myself, I do not let my kids walk home. I drop them off in the morning before work and my husband
picks them up after. We are lucky-we can do that. It makes me feel safe. But that mother that sat there while everyone went quiet maybe does not have a choice. She works, no one to help. The cost of day care, even aftercare is through the roof. So, while I don't think there is a right or wrong answer for this one, I know what kind of crazies are out there. Sometimes right under our noses. And I will drive my kids to school a little longer. Surely they won't get too mad at me for just trying to keep them safe.

You raise such an excellent point. We all have to make difficult decisions as parents, and sometimes we have to settle for second best.

My son walked home when he went to sixth grade at our neighborhood middle school because we didn't have a lot of options. Sometimes he hitched a ride. Even the experience of asking a trusted friend gave him some skills.

We have to give our kids the tools to think on their feet.

Thanks for your comment.

I think parents should let their kids walk down the street on their own once they've reached a certain age. I was a free range kid.I walked 5 blocks each way to school every day and I survived it and made it to adulthood. Don't tell me times were different... there were just as many creeps and perverts around then as there are now. Far too many parents today are overprotective and then wonder why their children grow up to be lazy and very dependent on others.
Yes, I have children and they are "free-range". They walk to school and they walk to friends homes. I'd much rather raise children who are aware of their surroundings, independent, active and who aren't afraid of the world around them. As a parent its difficult decision to make, but I know that I'm not doing them any favors by constantly hoovering over them protecting them. No parent should be made to feel ashamed of allowing their children to walk to school.

SouthFLoridaMom:

I agree, but would also like to point out that my kids live almost 2 miles from their school.

I guess I have seen too much in my life, personally and otherwise. I would rather err on the side of caution then to receive that call that says my daughter never made it home from school.

Two miles is a hike....But I had to walk a mile, through mountains of snow and zero degree weather!

In barefeet, with only a dry bread crust for lunch, and both ways were up hill too, I bet :)

Well...of course. (That's what I tell my kids anyway!)

Growing up in New York, I lived a block away from my school. I bunch of us always walked to school together, from first grade through sixth. But that was New York in the 1970s. We were and still are a pedestrian and mass transit society. South Florida is neither, so I'd be more hesitant to let my kids wander the way Lenore (a former colleague of mine, by the way) suggests.

South Florida is different. I'm actually more worried about traffic than abduction when my son goes out on his bike.

But I've seen kids walking or biking to school in the east and the western suburbs here. It must take those kids who live in gated communities 15 minutes just to get out of their gate. At least it's exercise...

growing up myself as a kid in new york things are a little different there. both my husband and i talk about how we were allowed to walk or bike ride almost anywhere at a young age. now i live in south florida and by the time my son was 5 he was asking to walk home from school. i think 5 is too young but i finally allowd him to walk home in the 3rd grade..8 yrs old! everyone said i was crazy but the school is less than a mile away and i walked with him the first week. i encouraged him to find a group he could walk with. He not only gained confidence but also made new friends. i gave him all the rules...don't get into anyone's car..don't talk to anyone and even have some neighbor's houses along the way that are ok with him dropping in if there is an emergency along the way. they cannot live in fear and must know how to handle themselves.

As nice as it is to let our kids grow up, in almost all stories of abduction, the parents were not there. When a 12 - 18 year old disappears, and later turns up dead, and gone forever, do the parents pat themselves on the back for teaching their kids to be dependent and walk by themselves?

adam--and just how many kids are taken vs how many are injured in car accidents every day?

We are about five miles from our school, so they ride the bus there (walk to the bus stop, though) and I pick them up after work. Once home, they play with the other neighborhood kids til dark. The only rule is that they have to let me know whose house they are planning to be at, or if they are going to ride their bikes around the neighborhood circle.

Media sensationalism has capitalized on parental fears by greatly overexaggerating statistics. If a kid is abducted or molested, a FAR greater chance of the time it is by someone they know. We are all much better as a society to teach kids about "stranger danger" and encourage guided independence than to shelter them.

adam--and just how many kids are taken vs how many are injured in car accidents every day?

We are about five miles from our school, so they ride the bus there (walk to the bus stop, though) and I pick them up after work. Once home, they play with the other neighborhood kids til dark. The only rule is that they have to let me know whose house they are planning to be at, or if they are going to ride their bikes around the neighborhood circle.

Media sensationalism has capitalized on parental fears by greatly overexaggerating statistics. If a kid is abducted or molested, a FAR greater chance of the time it is by someone they know. We are all much better as a society to teach kids about "stranger danger" and encourage guided independence than to shelter them.

My kids walk to and from school, as do most of the kids in our neighborhood. We have a choice - we feel this is best & healthiest.

They also play with the other kids in the neighborhood before and after dinner till it gets dark. they can play behind all the townhouses or ride their bikes around the block.

I remember walking a mile to school with my little brother in 5th grade. It was the greatest memories I have. It teaches kids how to be independant and make decisions on their own. When my kids are at that age I will probably let them walk together to school too. But I'll be sure to teach them the rules to keep them safe: ie: never take a ride from anyone even if they know them, etc... I also think parents are too overprotective. I prefer to be protective and at the same time teach them how to protect themselves.

My children have been allowed to walk home from school alone since the 3rd grade. At first I stood in the driveway and watched them, but now I trust them to do it by themselves; of course, if they aren't home within a reasonable amount of time I go looking for them and there are repercussions for going anywhere but straight home. We know most of the people on our street and the school is at the end, so it might be different if we lived farther away.

My oldest son now walks home from high school and I hardly worry about him at all since he's usually in a group. When he was in middle school he was in downtown Ft Lauderdale and that did worry me somewhat, but it ended up maturing him pretty quickly.

My son wants to walk alone but he is too young.... and when we walk together, more than once we have nearly been run over by idiots at intersections who can't see a crossing guard -because they are too busy talking on their damn cell phones.

"Man follows Pines girl home, sneaks into her house" Sun-Sentinel 10/08/09

Ahh, independance! Isn't it a wonderful thing?

Wow, bragging about "my kids get to walk home alone, they're not scared!" It's a good thing these child killers can't find your home via your blogs cause your kids will be next......this is why there will always be child rapists and killers, because they can rely on parents sticking their heads in the sand.

Why don't neighborhoods get together and meet each other, get each others schedules, cell phones etc and set up safety for kids.

Lastly, even in the animal kingdom, mothers never ever lose sight of their offspring until they have been taught to fend for their own lives.....in the human world, that would be 18 year old.