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Do you stick up for your kid at the playground?
Here was the scene: My 3-year-old at the playground Monday. At one point, an eager boy about his age pushed him as he readied to launch down the slide. Nothing mean – the other boy was just wanted a turn. I shouted, “Hey, no pushing!” Then I realized the boy’s mom was next to me. I braced myself for her reaction. She apologized instead. Everyone moved on.
But it raised a question for me: Should we intervene on the playground? If so, when? Where’s the line?
I try to resist doing so. That voice inside my head says, “He needs to learn to speak up. I can’t always be there.” Still, there’s a competing voice: “But he will only know it’s wrong if I say so.” There’s another issue: what if someone is hurt? And I don’t want it to be my kid.
We probably all have a story from childhood on this point. Here’s mine: I was on a seesaw with a friend, who was much smaller (I was a pudgy kid). It seemed like fun to smash the seat into the ground. Next thing I remember, my slight friend was lofted into the air. He crashed into the metal bar, chipping a tooth.
If only someone had stopped me.
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Comments
And we also sometimes witness our kids bullied by adults, not physically, but bullied just the same.
My most memorable examples:
We were in a dept store and my 7 year old daughter accidentally knocked over some clothes, and the saleswoman rushed over to berate her. I was fuming! I made her apologize to my daughter.
We recently went into the bank to make a deposit for my daughter and the teller tries to refuse the deposit because it contained .85 in change. That was not about to happen.
I will stand up for my kids in a polite but firm way when I beleive they are in the right, because it teaches them to stand up for themselves. Adults are not always right, and we need to teach our kids to stand up for themselves, when appropriate.
Posted by: DP | September 9, 2009 3:46 PM
It was good that you shouted a principle ("no pushing") rather than a threat or something more personal ("get your hands off my kid"). I hope I'm able to keep a cool head when I (inevitably) am faced with the same kind of situation.
Posted by: Rafael | September 9, 2009 7:25 PM
I'm sorry that was you the "Chubby kid" because things from that view can be very difficult and different from that of lets say the bossy angelic little girl, or the dorky athlete whose feet are too big for his body until much later in life. But that was then and this is now and as a SMC whom I actually got to use that acremend even if I can't spell it. Anyways, back to the subject I do find myself trying to hold my tongue when it's comes to dispening other peoples childrenn unless you know them very well like family type close, it may be reason for conflict. When necessary I have tried to project a very nuetral understanding guidance figure (how little do they know I'm faking it) and just move on. Being a single mother of a almost 6 year old I am reading every book I can get my hands on to help me be a better parent and a better person.
Posted by: Super MOM | September 9, 2009 8:45 PM
Interesting comments, thanks. I suppose a similar question might arise when my kids start organized sports. But I will not be "one of those dads" who screams from the sidelines.
Posted by: Matthew Strozier | September 10, 2009 1:04 PM