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Youth sports: During that car ride home, back off
What we adults call "explaining," our children call "lecturing." Please remember this as the fall youth sports season kicks in.
Especially on that car ride home.
No matter how much you want to help, starting a conversation about the just-ended game right afterward usually won't turn out well. Kids want our approval, and even if we preface criticism with three positives, they'll roll their eyes when you mention they loafed down the first-base line or muffed a pass for an easy basket.
Besides, they already know that stuff themselves.
So, when's the right time?
Show up at practice, and if the coach needs a hand, helps everyone else's kid. Then yours.
Watch games together, and point out fundamentals the pros are using that your child can work on.
Record your child's game with one of those hand-held cameras and play it back a day or two later, perhaps with a teammate over -- and snacks.
And if you get a minute during the game, put the lens on the coaches and slip them a copy, so they can check if they've leaped beyond "coaching" and into "yelling."
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Comments
This is a good tip to remember, regardless of the performance-based activity that just concluded.
Everyone needs a safe-zone, or space to reflect.
There is nothing wrong with "quiet time." That's something parents can benefit from too.
No doubt, there are times sometimes --sooner rather than later, that you might have to talk to kids about the activity in which they just participated.
But I'd never be the one to say, hey - you should have kicked that ball harder, or thrown it farther. No - the things I'd zero in on would be more along the lines of sportsmanship, not skill.
Showing up at practice, reviewing game plays --later -- and watching other sporting events with your kid shows them what you want them to know: you're there for them; you care; you're involved.
They'll pick up on that. And that's when the conversations truly begin.
Posted by: Cindy Kent | September 15, 2009 10:11 AM