reading the text would be a good indicator of what your teen is really into. and besides it's your phone, you're paying the monthly bill.

Oh,Brittany, you have opened a can now!

First of all, again, there is no right or wrong here. Some parents may say "no way!' and some may find absolutely nothing wrong with not only sneaking a peak, but taking notes too!

That being said, as a parent of a teenager and a few more, not only would I look in a heartbeat, I monitored my daughters computer with a parental control program, went through bookbags, ect. She earned this though, by not being trustworthy.

The downfall of this is what you don't know can break your heart. IE-my mom is such a b- ect.

Bottom line, trust is earned, the more they act trustworthy, the less you snoop.

His phone keeps alerting "Message Received''! Tempting! But he's done very little to earn my distrust, to be honest. That I know of!

Brittany,

To me, then that is the key-If he acts trustworthy-then trust him.

Besides a 14 year old boy? It will probably read "Duuuudde.....Bummer you don't have your phone" because he probably told his friends about it on Facebook anyway!

Look if you have always taught him good and he has not given you a reason to distrust him, please don't read his text messages it will only make him sad to find out that you don't trust him, I'm a parent myself and never have nor I ever will read a text, email, or diary of any of my kids because I trust them, I do however always tell them that if there's something I should know but they think is going to upset me please just go ahead and tell me because I'm the only one who can always help them unconditionally.

Sorry, but i read my son's text messages. He's not aware of it though. It's not that i don't trust him. I would say just being more of a concerned parent. Some parents would be amazed of the things these kids text to each others. Remember we were once teenagers also. Check it!!!

Your access to the phone should have been discussed long before revocation of phone privileges. At this point, I would say no. You're taking the phone away as punishment, unless the reason for the punishment possibly has evidence in text form, then no, leave well enough alone.

Now you just look like you’re looking for anything to “get him in trouble” out of “spite”, and that’s exactly how he’s going to look at the matter.

The conversation should have gone something like this, AS YOU WERE INITIALLY giving the child the phone. “Ok little Tommy, I am providing you with a cell phone. These are your responsibilities, x, y and z, and at any time, I may decided to revoke any given privilege, go through your cell phone, text messages and voice mails for any reason.”

This kind of applies to any form of media you, as the parent, pay for, but you just stand to make yourself look like a jerk now.

No child that lives under your roof has the right to anything more than food, water, clothing, and the roof you're putting over his head, but you can't just make up the rules as you go along.

Hey Sam,

You may want to reread article. Mrs. Wallman did not take the phone away as punishment, she picked it up when the school took it for vibrating.

If you are so insecure about the way you educate your kids, go ahead and invade their privacy, so they will loose trust in you.... if you do not want them to text, don't buy them a phone!! we were raised without cell phones, why parents can't do it now?

And who knows how much a parent monitors or controls a kid with a cell phone, it is not just texting nowadays....

Kids go to school to STUDY, not to be texting and have phones interrupting class with vibrators (how many times in a class is allowed to use a phone per student? texting means using the phone!); vibrators are as annoying as ring tones.... just look at your own workplace, vibrators all around, people with phone handy and texting... groups of guys at the bars, together but each one on their own phone texting, online, sending pictures, receiving files, etc....... text should be erased from this planet, it makes people so unsocial, but phone companies wants us to be online 24 hours, the more we use it, the more we need it, the more we pay... kids do not think anymore, they “google” for “searching” anything that they get crossed with; this apply to people up to 35 years old aprox, the younger, the worst this problem is....

Google = Search

You mentioned what your parents would have done and that you would not have liked that. I wonder why you said that.

Do you think that your parents did a good job raising you? Do you think your reaction as a teenager to what your parents did to you is a good barometer of what you should now do as a parent? Things tend to look a little different when you are the parent and not the child.

Had Columbine parents been less concerned over their children's privacy and snooped just a little a huge tragedy could have been prevented. Go ahead a snoop!

I think if you're going to read your kid's emails and text messages, it's fair to give them warning before the fact. Kids aren't going to like it either way, but at least it doesn't turn into a trust issue if they find out afterwards.

The cellphone will read the # of unread messages until you open them. How do you read a new text message without your son knowing.

You should not read the messages If there is no trust issues. Besides, you don't know the contexts of the texts you are reading anyway.

It is not a matter of "losing your son's trust," but it's something that I'm not in favor of.

It's our job to prepare childen to get ready to live on their own. That includes making their own mistakes, handling their relationships, etc.

So, only in the case of you carrying a real concern for his security -- is he being stalked, is he in really deep into something nasty, etc., -- does it do you any good.

So you find out that Rachel likes him, Billy wants to buy him a beer or James bagged him in class for not doing homework? What are you going to do with that information?

Wow I'm so glad my parents trusted me with my cellphone and didn't invade my privacy. You parents are idiots. Nothing good is going to come out of checking your kids texts. So you take your daughters cell phone and find out she's having sex. Then what do you do? Trap her in her room or sumtin. Let ur teens live their life. Your just going to find out things you don't want to know

When our son got his phone we told him we would check his messages randomly at any time we wanted with no warning, just as we check his IM's, email & etc. He's a good kid and we don't do it often, but we want him to know that the possibility does exist. Contrary to what some people have said here, his friends envy him because we know what's going on in his life and we discuss things with him rather than coming down on him (usually).
However, Facebook, MySpace and such-until he's an adult, no way. Even I don't use them and I AM an adult!

I had always trusted my son and he hadn't given me any reason not to trust him. He's a great young man with great friends. I know many of his friends and their parents too.

My son was sleeping and I happened to see his phone with the red light flashing. This was the first time I'd looked at his texts and I was shocked to find out that he was selling drugs. There weren't any other indicators except that he went outside to talk on his phone. He always said he couldn't hear with all the noise in the house. My friend, who lives in a different state also went through the same situation.

I'd say yes look at it. Find out what is going on in your son's life. There is a difference between looking at it every so often and reading the message everytime you have the opportunity.

Do your kids delete their messages all the time? That could be an indicator that something is up.

Be prepared because you may have to deal with what you find out in those texts.

I had always trusted my son and he hadn't given me any reason not to trust him. He's a great young man with great friends. I know many of his friends and their parents too.

My son was sleeping and I happened to see his phone with the red light flashing. This was the first time I'd looked at his texts and I was shocked to find out that he was selling drugs. There weren't any other indicators except that he went outside to talk on his phone. He always said he couldn't hear with all the noise in the house. My friend, who lives in a different state also went through the same situation.

I'd say yes look at it. Find out what is going on in your son's life. There is a difference between looking at it every so often and reading the message everytime you have the opportunity.

Do your kids delete their messages all the time? That could be an indicator that something is up.

Be prepared because you may have to deal with what you find out in those texts.

I had always trusted my son and he hadn't given me any reason not to trust him. He's a great young man with great friends. I know many of his friends and their parents too.

My son was sleeping and I happened to see his phone with the red light flashing. This was the first time I'd looked at his texts and I was shocked to find out that he was selling drugs. There weren't any other indicators except that he went outside to talk on his phone. He always said he couldn't hear with all the noise in the house. My friend, who lives in a different state also went through the same situation.

I'd say yes look at it. Find out what is going on in your son's life. There is a difference between looking at it every so often and reading the message everytime you have the opportunity.

Do your kids delete their messages all the time? That could be an indicator that something is up.

Be prepared because you may have to deal with what you find out in those texts.

I pay the bill, I pay the the mortgage, I pay for ALL their expenses! The reason that we are having so many problems with the social and moral decline of our youth is because so many parents have this ridiculous mentality that they are entitled to their privacy. I am a mother first, and a friend later. I check my child's texts periodically to know what is going on in his/her life that he/she might not be sharing with me. I have seen some things that I would not approve of from an adult's point of view, but I know what it's like to be a teenager. I trust my child tremendously, but I also know that many parents have said the same thing, only to find out later some horrific truth that they had no clue was going on. I am the one raising my children - not society and its norms. I am certain that my children will look back on all this when they become adults and be grateful that their parents were so involved in their lives! I know I am BEYOND grateful for the way my parents raised me, although at the time, I could not rationalize some of their decisions! It's not an invasion of privacy, it's called protecting your children.

Every parent needs to protect their child. There are products available to do so. These aren't infringing on their privacy but prevents them from being victims of sexual predators, cyber bullied, sextexting, texting while driving, being in a vehicle that's speeding, and a ton of other features. Check it our at: www.websafety.com/safetyCell.

I thought you got rid of the spam?

Maybe if more parents read their kid's texts that teen in Deerfield Beach would not have been set on fire by 5 other teens.

You only have access to what they don't delete. When buying a text and phone plan parents should inquire with the provider to have access remotely to all texts and phone calls/messages prior to buying a plan.

Children need to be monitered since parents really don't spend enough time with them any more. Who knows what kind of evil they are up to that could ruin their future.

Every time a child does something really bad the parents always say he/she did nothing to earn my distrust, they get good grades in school, they've never done anything wrong, they've never broken the law, my child has never done drugs, etc. There is always a first time.

Get your heads out of the sand. Good kids are capable of doing very bad things.

And if you are truly smart you'll cancel the texting on your child's phone or just not get them texting in the first place.

Texting is a record that can be traced by the government and law enforcement agencies until they go to apply for college and gee wouldn't it be cute to have something like their old texts to keep them from getting a scholarship or entrance to the college of their choice. Or trapped with evidence in a case based on their text.

Texting wasn't invented to make things easier for you or your child. It's not cute. It's a tool.

Wake up people.

Texting is worse than facebook, twitter, myspace but it is right up there with traceable harmful incriminating evidence with regard to your child's future endeavors.

Teens don't think about what they say. Only when it bites them in the arse when they are 18, 21, 30 do they wish their parents had checked their texts and spared them the embarrassment or loss of a job, can't get into the military service, or college because of something they said when they were 12, 14, 16 etc.

Maybe I wouldn't be laying in the hospital in agonizing pain with 3rd degree burns on 75% of my body wondering if I will even live if more parents read the texts on their child's phones.

I want to thank the person who put on the info about www.websafety.com. I now can monitor what my kids are being sent and what they are sending via cell texts and facebook. I feel a lot better! Thanks

I want to thank the person who put on the info about www.websafety.com. I now can monitor what my kids are being sent and what they are sending via cell texts and facebook. I feel a lot better! Thanks

im 11 and i think not unless you son has a girlfriend. if so then check becouse they could be sexting

even if they do have a gf/bf you should not check their texts. if you want to keep them from having sex, then simply have them keep their door open and check on them every once in a while. you shouldn't find out by text. all you can do is try to prevent it anyway, there is no sure-fire way to stop them unless you lock them up at home. and if they're sexting, so what?! at least they're not having real sex. and with the whole drug thing, unless they act funny with their calls and stuff, you shouldn't really be concerned. unless they act high or hang out with people that do drugs. and kids shouldn't have to earn trust, they should only be able to lose it. sure, if they are bad kids that come home drunk and skip school or any of that crap, then read their texts. otherwise, don't read them. kids are entitled to their privacy, too. do you want them going through your stuff, or even your texts if you are a parent who does that? didn't think so. they have lessons to learn just like you did when you were a teenager. just let them know you are there for them and will try to stay calm and help them with any situation they get into, if they do. simply put, if you are going to go through their texts, don't let them text! (and btw most teenage texts are boring anyway, this comes firsthand. stupid forwards, "what's up?", "nm", and unimportant high school gossip...so don't think it's like some sort of diary or sumthing..real conversations about serious stuff are usually done in phone calls. btw michael any person with 3rd degree burns on most of their body and are in agonizing pain would not be typing a post in a forum with a laptop or phone or w/e. i'm pretty sure they would be trying to rest and heal and not make some stupid fake point about parents reading texts. you are obviously a parent trying to scare other parents, when in all honesty, the chances of that happening to your kid because you didn't read their texts is ridiculous.

ok i am a teen i think that this is bad because my mom does it and i get so mad but she knows that i will never do anything like have phone sex but what i think is bect is to not look threw it because i hate for doing that and i do not trust her anymore i know that to a teen it would be so bad if you were to cross there privicay i think that this is wrong because its like them finding out all of your secrets how would you feel not to good i bet

ok i am a teen i think that this is bad because my mom does it and i get so mad but she knows that i will never do anything like have phone sex but what i think is bect is to not look threw it because i hate for doing that and i do not trust her anymore i know that to a teen it would be so bad if you were to cross there privicay i think that this is wrong because its like them finding out all of your secrets how would you feel not to good i bet

ok i am a teen i think that this is bad because my mom does it and i get so mad but she knows that i will never do anything like have phone sex but what i think is bect is to not look threw it because i hate for doing that and i do not trust her anymore i know that to a teen it would be so bad if you were to cross there privicay i think that this is wrong because its like them finding out all of your secrets how would you feel not to good i bet

My niece is 17 and a half years old. She bought her own cell phone and pays the bill on it every month with no help from anyone. She has a job and goes to school. Whenever her mother (my sister) gets mad at her for whatever reason (my sister has severe mood swings) she takes the phone away. I think this is over the top since my niece is a very honest, hard working and responsible young woman. Not to mention the fact that she is almost 18. So....I have a hard time with the whole "snooping" and taking the phone away thing. At 14 maybe but in my niece's case, No.