The other night while my husband and five-year-old son were playing Connect Four, I asked if I could play next. My son turned me down.

“No, Mom, I want to play with Dad because I want to win,” my son explained.

Apparently, I’m too competitive and don’t let my son win enough. Either that or my husband is a softie who is so worried about shattering my son’s self confidence that he over-compensates by allowing my son to believe that he is great at everything. We are probably both guilty.

But what about the value of practice? Learning that it takes hard work to achieve something? Realizing that life is filled with ups and downs?

Learning those life lessons are some of the reasons I enrolled my son in soccer and TBall. (And for more on this topic, read a great post from fellow blogger Brittany Wallman.) I’m not trying to groom a new David Bekham or Jose Canseco. (Sorry, those were the first two names that popped in my mind.) I just want a well adjusted, confident kid who doesn’t cry because he didn’t win or stops trying because it’s too hard.

My son came a long way during his first two seasons playing team sports. Sure, he danced with his shadow on the field during some of those night games and played with dirt while playing third base. But what he’s learning, even if he doesn’t realize it, is invaluable. Among them:

Learning to lose: It was tough watching my son’s disappointed face when he didn’t win that first “game ball.” (Only one is handed out after each game by the coach.) Or the second. Or the third…But when finally did, he treasured that ball above all else. And I have a feeling it will be a long-lasting memory for many years to come. Learning to lose makes winning so much sweeter.

Teaching good sportsmanship: My son is learning to cheer on his teammates. Their successes are his successes. Their disappointments are his disappointments. One of my favorite moments was when one of my son’s teammates wanted to quit playing in the middle of a soccer game because he didn’t think he was fast enough to get the ball. With no prodding from us, our son gently took him by the shoulders and told him: “You can do it. All you have to do is keep trying.”

Playing by the rules: As much as my son would like an extra turn at bat, he is realizing that there are rules even during playtime. If he played first base during the last inning, he needs to give another player a chance the next inning. If he doesn’t want to wear his baseball cap, he can’t go out on the field. And it helps him to see teammates following the rules – and taking note of the consequences for those who don’t.