'Let's Panic About Babies'
When my daughter turned 4 months old, Graco sent me this email to celebrate:
"Welcome to your 4th month of parenthood. Baby is here. You're spending all of your time caring for him and are radiant with the happiness that he's brought into your life. It seems you've got your priorities straight! But are you remembering to nurture yourself, too? By implementing a baby-friendly diet and exercise regimen, adjusting a few other routines and reducing stress in your daily life, you'll come to love your new mom-i-fied self even more."
How did my daughter celebrate her milestone? She fell asleep about 10:30 p.m. while my husband and I stayed up watched “24” re-runs until 1:30 a.m.
Baby was up again at 3:30 a.m., demanding to be fed. So I took her out to the living room, got us both situated in the glider, and started feeding her.
Maybe 3 minutes later, she passed out. Sigh. Back to bed.
Up again at 6:30 a.m. for a hungry, wet baby. This time she DIDN’T pass out. Every time I tried to put her down in her crib or swing, or anyplace! Please, child!, she started crying.
So my plan to sleep until 9 a.m. was shot.
Consequently, I didn’t spend my Sunday being radiant with the happiness that she’s brought to my life. And with my decision to watch TV until 1:30 a.m., it is obvious my priorities are whacked.
Enter “Let’s Panic About Babies.” This advice book is much more my style.
Written by mommy bloggers Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy, "Let's Panic" is funny, sarcastic and strangely on-point about pregnancy, delivery and newborn care.
Divided into two parts, "The Swelling" and "The Birthening and Beyond," the book addresses almost all baby-related issues through chapters like "The Second Trimester: Time for Invasive Testing," "The Third Trimester: Now You're Comical to Everyone but You" and "Navigating the Jungle of Early Motherhood."
What makes this book work is it’s in-your-face direct address, the way it wildly exaggerates every small truth, and its comically insane solutions for pregnancy and newborn concerns.
In chapter 6 (Obviously Pregnant = Obviously Stupid), the authors write: “At six months you may feel like you have plenty of time before the birth. Well don’t get too comfy, Miss I-Still-Have-Two-Months-To-Choose-a-Crib: your baby can decide it’s time to evacuate right now, if she wants – and she’ll do it, too, just to spite you. Baby knows quite a bit about your karma and she’s been given clearance to come out early and try to kill you with it.”
This feature makes It less-than-ideal for first-time mothers seeking real answers, but provides hearty chuckles (and sometimes howls of laughter) for those of us who have faced those dilemmas and somehow survived.
The book does sometimes cross the line. I don’t really like being called a female dog, even in jest.
But for the most part, the humor in “Let’s Panic About Babies” is wickedly accurate and all in good fun.
I just wish everything about babies was this amusing.
Jennifer Jhon is the youth editor of Teenlink.POSTED IN: Guest Post (79)